“Ron, our loyal Knight, will become a time traveler. He will be sent back in time to some point in the 19th century to live out the rest of his days at Albus Dumbledore, our venerable King. The exact mechanics of his journey in time are unclear, though we do believe it is unavoidable, and that it will in fact be the very move that enables Harry’s eventual defeat of Voldemort (the checkmate) and that it will also have something to do with the White Queen (Bellatrix). Though you may think us a couple of nutters for making such an outrageous claim, we do indeed have evidence. Lots and lots of evidence.”
– This Guy On An Old Harry Potter Forum Says Dumbledore Is A Time-Traveling Ron Weasley And I Want To Hear Him Out
“Ron makes it very clear on several occasions that he hates the color maroon. Could it be because he will eventually be ‘marooned’ in time?”
– Secret Ronbledore Pages Of Harry Potter Revealed By Court Order
“Others will try to smear and discredit me. This is how you will know I am telling the truth about Ronbledore.”
– “I regret pairing Ron and Hermione together (because Ron is a time-traveling Dumbledore),” JK Rowling Admits
This week, author J.K. Rowling shared her latest Harry Potter short story on Pottermore.com. Set twenty years after the events of the original series — an obvious nod to the time-traveling nature of Ron-as-Dumbledore, for those who have eyes to see and ears to hear — the story is written in the voice of Rita Skeeter, tabloid columnist and secret Continuity Anchor for the Time Wanderers (cf. Ronbledore: Tomorrow’s History Today, pp. 17-19, “Who guards the Clock Portals?”). Nominally centered around an outing to the Quidditch World Cup Finals, “Dumbledore’s Army Reunion” is in fact a highly coded series of revelations about the mechanics of Ron Weasley’s ultimate transformation into Ronbledore shortly after graduating from Hogwarts.
“There are celebrities – and then there are celebrities. We’ve seen many a famous face from the wizarding world grace the stands here in the Patagonian Desert – Ministers and Presidents, Celestina Warbeck, controversial American wizarding band The Bent-Winged Snitches – all have caused flurries of excitement, with crowd members scrambling for autographs and even casting Bridging Charms to reach the VIP boxes over the heads of the crowd.”
Leaving aside the obvious klaxon of the Patagonian Desert location (“I’m the first non-Brazilian person to travel backwards through time!”), Rowling’s mention of the Bent-Winged Snitches is a clear reference to the curvature of space-time (cf. Time Opens Its Door To Me: Ronbledore’s Event Horizon, canto IVV), bent almost entirely out of shape during Ron’s first unexpected time-reversal in 1993/1941 (the same year).
An amusing aside for the Ronbledore completist — if you reread The Deathly Hallows under the right conditions (during a physics blackout or in a perfect vacuum), immediately after this scene:
“Why are they all staring?” demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at the other students.
“Don’t let it worry you,” said Ron. “It’s me. I’m extremely famous.”
the face of Professor Trelawney (not Emma Thompson as Professor Trelawney) will momentarily hover out of the page and whisper “HE’S NOT WRONG” before dissolving into cinnamon. I myself have seen this happen twice.
“Sundry other members of the Army are here, but it is on these six that most interest is focused. Wherever there is a red head one may make an educated guess that it belongs to a Weasley, but it is difficult to tell whether it is George, Charlie or Percy, or a mysterious floating head that appears only long enough to mouth HELP ME before dissolving into an hourlong scream, which coincidentally also causes every clock within a 144-mile radius to break, reading only REDEEM THE TIME FOR THE HOUR IS EVIL.
The only one who is easy to recognise is Bill who, poor man, is grievously scarred from an encounter with a werewolf and yet somehow (enchantment? Love potion? Blackmail? Kidnap?) married the undeniably beautiful (though doubtless empty-headed) Fleur Delacour. Incidentally, we have lost fourteen hours today; the Ministry of Magic cannot account for them.
Later this afternoon the Quidditch Cup announcers will almost certainly reveal that history has changed yet again during lunch due to a slip in the time-stream, after which thousands of red hairs will drift heavily from the sky, vaporizing whatever surface they land on.
Ronbledore is coming. Ronbledore is already here. This is the darkest timeline.”
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.