Introducing Sansa, a Puppy -The Toast

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Sansa got here on Saturday. She was supposed to come “in the morning,” so I woke up at 1:45am, completely incapable of going back to sleep, and just made coffee and puttered around while everyone else slept. As of 9:01am, I became incensed that she was not here yet, and barely survived until 9:17am, when she arrived at my door. This is Sansa:
IMG_1026I know. It’s a lot to take in.

Sansa is a perfect puppy. She is nine weeks old, and about eleven pounds in size. She is very relaxed, very quiet, very affectionate, very smart (I guess? I don’t really know how you tell), and already possesses a cursory grasp of the English language. I take her outside, and say “go potty!” in a chipper voice, and then she goes potty. The only inside accident so far was my fault, and we were both gently disappointed in ourselves, and it has not been repeated. She enjoys having her belly rubbed, she enjoys sitting on my lap, she enjoys bouncing with the children and also being able to always know we will keep the children from bothering her if she does not wish to bounce with the children. Yesterday, we were on our way to the nursery, and Sansa stopped outside the door and looked dubious, and I said “Sansa, is that just too much right now? Would you like to hang out in your daddy’s office while he works, instead?” and she said “Yes, thank you,” and it was so.

(Steve calls her “sweetums.” He is a taciturn man, but not for Sansa.)

Sansa’s breeder had told me that Sansa (the runt of the litter, likely only to gain ninety more pounds before reaching full maturity, instead of a hundred and ten more pounds) is very firm about her rights to the attention and approval of others, much like myself. Whenever the breeder snuggled with the puppies individually (constantly, as evidenced by the webcam I watched for eight weeks straight, including Sansa’s mom’s entire and graphic labor and delivery), Sansa would refuse to be cuddled until all the other puppies were done, and would then remain on the breeder’s lap for three or four times the amount of time the others received, because no one was left to supplant her on said lap.

Sansa has taken very immediately to having her own people, possibly because living with a writhing mass of nine puppies was not perfectly suited to her own, more dignified nature. “Wait, ALL these dog toys are mine? I need not compete for them?” She was a good girl her first night, an even better girl her second night, and is in ruddy good health, and exudes Chill and Convivality. She is already the best behaved puppy I have ever seen, and we will begin obedience training on Wednesday.

Here are some important illustrated facts about Sansa:

Sansa was initially concerned about my readiness to squeeze her:

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Sansa explored the house in some detail, and became convinced we would be good to her:

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Sansa relishes not sharing her food with a variety of siblings, and also that I put some shredded cheese on it (I am under strict instructions to gussy up kibble with a bit of Greek yogurt or cheese or drippings or meat if necessary, as Sansa has a lot of growing to do, and she has already eaten at LEAST a chicken without any recognizable digestive issues):

IMG_0964

Sansa likes taking her toys under the baby’s bouncer:

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Sansa does not approve of adblockers that do not whitelist our site, and she is concerned about the future of new media:

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Sansa enjoys selfies:

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Sansa was deboned by a master chef, and then re-boned after her nap:

IMG_1017 I do not have a lot of still images of an awake Sansa, so here is another sleeping Sansa:

IMG_1020

She has a black nose:IMG_0966 She has a little chew toy shaped like a bone:

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This is Sansa, asleep on my bed:IMG_1031

Thank you for your time.

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PUPPYYYYYYYY
SO FLUFFY
SO SWEET
AUGH
1 reply · active 485 weeks ago
PUUUPPPPYYYYYYYYYY

*heart eyes emoji*
Haven't sat at my computer refreshing the Toast so hard since the day Nicole told us that the deleted comments from the White Man Books post would be up at 1pm.

Welcome Sansa!
2 replies · active 485 weeks ago
This is a GOOD DOG.
THAT FLUFF THO *cat with the hearts for eyes*
Julia Lambert's avatar

Julia Lambert · 485 weeks ago

Many times over the course of this past weekend, I realized I was feeling excited for Nicole, a person I have never met, to get a darling puppy, whom I have also never met, and share her joy via the internet. Hurray, Nicole! I am legit so happy for you right now!


Welcome to the Toast family, Sansa. We have been awaiting your fluffiness and IT IS GOOD
Hello, Sansa!!! You are the cutest. My dog would love to meet you now while you're small so she can boss you around.

Incidentally, I love how the "runt of the litter" will be 100 pounds.
5 replies · active 485 weeks ago
LaSalleUGirl's avatar

LaSalleUGirl · 485 weeks ago

That may seriously be the cutest puppy I've ever seen, and I'm really envious of all the snoogling happening in your household right now.
HER LIL' PINK TONGUE, THO
Love her hairdo. That back-combing look on the top is adorable. I appreciate that you are using the Talk So Your Kids Will Listen... tone with her, v v cool parent, Nicole.
People loving their dogs is, like, the most pure beautiful thing in the world, and I cannot wait for the day that I am in a stable and calm enough living situation that I can be a dog dad.

Because goddammit I will make the cover of Dog Dad magazine that is how much of a dog dad I will be.
WHAT KIND OF DOG IS SANSA I NEED TO UPDATE MY ASPIRATIONS
13 replies · active 485 weeks ago
avidbiologist's avatar

avidbiologist · 485 weeks ago

It's not unreasonable to expect at least one Sansa picture roundup like this per day, is it? Because now that she is in my internet life I never want her to leave.
[swoons repeatedly]
the chew toy one is my favorite! She looks so eager to please, and yet utterly confident in knowing she WILL please. Also her foofy lil ruff!
I look forward to Sansa's North American tour. I will be first in line at whichever Barnes and Noble and/or PetSmart is hosting a signing in the tri-state area.
Her tongue in the food bowl picture!!! Oh man, she will be so huge and fluffy, I am so excited so excited.

I have questions about her mutant Frankenbreed, also. Like, what does she require in terms of exercise? Are you allowed to reveal her breeder? I'm so curious about the big dog/long lifespan thing.
2 replies · active 485 weeks ago
Torn between my understanding that you, Nicole, are a private citizen whose right to a personal life is sacred and my desperate need for a 24-hour SansaCam.
2 replies · active 485 weeks ago
Her floppy lil ears. Lil tiny ears and they are floppy. There is no more I can say.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

4 replies · active 485 weeks ago
Sansa Stark is one of many little useful tricks for if you want to hang out with somebody. A few for toast evaluation:

Probably Good
If you start singing "Ba ba ba, ba Barbara Ann" - they will chime in a third higher
Tips a reasonable amount
Likes Sansa Stark

Probably Bad
Doesn't like Sansa Stark
Thinks Skyler White is worse than Walter White
Refers to women as "females" (this is definitely not 100% accurate, and more indicative of cishet men than any other demographic, but when I finally realized it it kinda blew my mind)
Feigns ignorance of sports with "sportsball"-type responses (Actually, I know plenty of people I like a lot who do this, but it is undeniably annoying)

also, I like dogs significantly less than the average person does (probably at least a standard deviation below the mean) and this one is ADORABLE AS HELL.
14 replies · active 485 weeks ago
HAPPY PUPPY POST! puppyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

I cannot be rational in the face of puppy. goodbye word ability, you are dead to me. There is only puppy.
Sansa's eyebrows are very expressive. She is the noblest of pups.
My mislabeled pound puppy (supposed to be a medium sized terrier and was actually some sort of mutant monster labrador) was more interested in snuggling than eating, so for the first year of her life she got a dollup of plain greek yogurt and some cheese on her food for temptation because otherwise she looked like a walking skeleton.

Now she's a good eater and the bulk makes her the best snuggler on the planet.
1 reply · active 485 weeks ago
On the outside I'm sitting at my desk blankly staring at my screen but on the inside I'm shrieking with joy. LOOK AT THAT DOG!!!
HER WITTLE TONGUE STICKING OUT.
1 reply · active 485 weeks ago
Sansa is already the Best Dog Ever. How can you get anything done? I'd just want to hug her all day.

My dog Petey was the runt, and I felt like that fact made her smarter and more affectionate. (She passed away last year and I have been too heartbroken to adopt another dog just yet, I'm sure everyone understands why.)
Please feel free to publish a weekly, nay, daily adventures of Sansa post.
Oh, what a good doggie that is.
If The Toast creates a spinoff site called The Sansa or One Morning I Awoke to Discover Myself Transformed into Utter Adorability, I will get fired for spending all my time reading it. But I'll be happy.
[SHRIEKING]
Puppy puppy puppykins? FLUFFY PUPPY
FLUFFY PUPPY FLUFFPY AAHHH
HELLO PUPPY FRIEND I AM HAPPY THAT YOU ARE IN A GOOD HOME WITH GOOD PEOPLE AND LOTS OF CHEESE
SANSA. ♥
HELLO SANSA :) that is some seriously prodigious floof!

I am pretty sure she is the best doggie. (note: every doggie is the best doggie.)
1 reply · active 485 weeks ago
Make sure you smell her as much and as deeply as you can. Puppy smell is magical and you never really get it back, in part because you're too embarrassed to ask strangers if you can smell their wee puppins.
5 replies · active 485 weeks ago
"Sansa would refuse to be cuddled until all the other puppies were done, and would then remain on the breeder’s lap for three or four times the amount of time the others received, because no one was left to supplant her on said lap."

This is how you know she's a smart dog.
3 replies · active 485 weeks ago
I had exciting busy things happen at work, and I forgot that this post would be up today. So I had the unique delight of knowing it would be coming and ALSO being surprised by it when I opened my Twitter feed. Sansa, you have fulfilled my every wish of being a smol gangly floofingtons. Please continue your excellent work.
Sansa, for you I finally figured out how to un-ad-block The Toast. Please love me.
5 replies · active 485 weeks ago
Finished second long paragraph, burst into mind-tears for some reason. Will attempt to continue.
1 reply · active 485 weeks ago
Fluffykins puppybutt!
De-boned and re-boned! I love her very much please post about her ALL the time.
YES DOG OMG SO FUZZY HELP
Fluff!!! Puppy!!!! And a good puppy!!
(timid voice) Would it be too much to ask for a video too?
Please allow yourselves to get excited for Thursday's post "Hamilton Lyrics I Changed To Sing To My Dog," but do not start sharing your own ideas for said lyrics until the post goes up.

"Dear Sansa-Sansa / what to SAY to you / you have my eyes / you have a Stark's name / when you came into my house you yipped and it broke my heart / and I thought I was so smart"
8 replies · active 485 weeks ago
How do you get anything done when you have so much fluff to bury your face in at all times???
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA who's a fluffy little puppy? Who's the BEST fluffy little puppy? YOU ARE! YES, YOU ARE!
"Sansa would refuse to be cuddled until all the other puppies were done, and would then remain on the breeder’s lap for three or four times the amount of time the others received, because no one was left to supplant her on said lap." This is like the puppy version of Mischel's Marshmallow Test. Your puppy has more control of her executive function than most humans. Your puppy may be a better person than me.

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