Witches

  1. Well, this morning is far more depressing than we had expected, so this seems like a bit of a broken balloon now. But you can still buy a tote.

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  2. What makes some women cross to the nether-centuries is beyond me. Here is an ordered list, from Horrifying to Most Horrifying, of women who have traveled to the Past.

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  3. Chex mix with WITCHY POWERS.

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  4. Murphy the red-and-white dog was very brave and rode in the back seat of the car. He did not enter the cave.

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  5. Blanket that faintly smells like your ex-boyfriend.

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  6. When I first got the book I imagined it was filled with elixirs and tonics, whether natural remedies for illnesses or potions to make all your wishes come true. When I opened it, I saw a recipe for “Gypsy Casserole."

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  7. They say a witch lives over on Elm, right on the corner in an old house that's sort of fallen down between two towering oak trees. They say her lawn's green and lush because of deals she's made with the chattering squirrels that bound along its expanse with no fear of the blackbirds perched on her home's roof. They say the rhododendron bushes flanking the house's front steps will laugh and twitch and watch if…

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  8. Liz Labacz's previous work for The Toast can be found here. “Sr. Mary Joan would like to see you in her office.” I was not a person who got called to the Disciplinarian office. Not to say I had never gotten up to any mischief, but I almost never got caught and had not, to my memory, actually done anything noteworthy recently. When I arrived, she asked me to sit. Sister and I knew…

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  9. This post was brought to you by A Misandrist. In fifth grade, my class studied the Salem Witch Trials as part of the social studies curriculum. This was a terrible thing to teach in middle school in the early 2000s, just as Sabrina was losing its cool and before Rookie’s articles about witchy style icons and Tumblr covens would make being a witch admirable, even aspirational. Witches weren’t empowered femmes with sweet magic powers…

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  10. The wind is howling on Pendle Hill on Halloween. It lies in Northern England, and has been described to me as a seductive hill with a macabre, dark past. My friend Rachel and I are climbing the hill – it’s only 4pm, but the sun sets in less than hour. We can see the small villages of Sabden, Colne and Roughlee below us, but we’re far above them now and the hill is deserted except for a pair of…

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  11. The kind of magic I find myself closest to believing in, particularly on windy days, is the magic of Merricat Blackwood and concealed objects. You remember the magic of concealed objects, don't you? All our land was enriched with my treasures buried in it, thickly inhabited just below the surface with my marbles and my teeth and my colored stones, all perhaps turned to jewels by now, held together under the ground in a…

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  12. Kitchen witches "A "kitchen witch" may also refer to a human figurine placed in kitchens for good luck. These dolls are made from materials such as fabric, corn husks, and dried fruits and may be in the form of a witch riding a broom. Such dolls traditionally protect residents and visitors to the home and also guard against cooking failures in the kitchen." "Good Walker" Witches  "The Benandanti claimed to travel out of their bodies…

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  13. Recently, while reorganizing my licensed fiction collection, I happened upon a certain Indiana Jones novel. Written by Martin Caidin, Indiana Jones and the White Witch is an interesting entry in the Indy canon; the novels by and large deal in conspiracy theories and world myths (Hollow Earth, unicorns, the location of Noah’s Ark) made plausible by application of Science and Manly Skepticism, but The White Witch features the very real religion of Wicca.

    Caidin’s…

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  14. Any woman who has made more money than her father for a two-month period or longer, is a witch. Any woman who has seen at least one full season of Gilmore Girls, is a witch. Any woman who owns a wristwatch or is taller than a man, is a witch. Any woman who was born during a storm or has laid eyes on Erykah Badu, is a witch. Strangely enough, Kate Bush is not a…

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