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Home: The Toast

“I like you a lot, but the things I don’t like about you… I hate.”

[To offscreen character] “Hi, Mom.”
[eight seconds of shocked silence, pan for reactions]
[fade to black]

Attractive But Deeply Disturbed Businesswoman: “Did you do this for me because I slept with you?”
Charmingly Irresponsible, Rakish and Rugged Male Authority Figure: “Yes.”
ABDDB: “Really?”

ABDDB: “Do you think anyone knows we slept together?”
ABDDB: “Really?”
Brittle Redhead: “Everyone knows you two are sleeping together.” [beat] “Well, everyone does.”

[whispered] “It’s a bomb.”

ABDDB: “You’re my boss/President/commanding officer! I can’t have sex with you.”
ABDDB: “I can’t believe we had sex.”
CIRRMAF: “Want to do it again?”
ABDDB: “…Yes.”

“I demand to be treated with respect!”
“We treat you with respect. Don’t we treat him with respect?”
“We treat you with respect all the time.”
“You told me I look like a baby [version of Important Job].”
“You do look like a baby [version of Important Job]. I respect babies. Babies are the future.”
“I am not the future. I am here now. I am the present!”

“[Rattles off list of rules at a near-incomprehensible speed.]”
[Struggling to keep up down the hallway] “Wait, could you repeat that last one?”
“I never repeat anything. That’s the last one.”

“You can’t die. I’ll kill you. You can’t die. If you die, I’ll never get the chance to kill you for making me watch you die, so you can’t die.”

“You look so happy today.”
“Thank you!”
“Stop it.”

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