7 a.m.: Wake-up 7:15 a.m.: Start your day with some cardio by dancing around your room to “Happy” by Pharrell. Accept that this is the happiest you will feel all day. 7:30 a.m.: Check voicemail from POTUS. Listen to impassioned voicemail, cry for 10 minutes, and then do 30 crunches while listening to Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In on audiobook. 7:40 a.m.: Take a 10 minute shower. During deep conditioning, do 10 squats. Try to think…
Every time President Fitzgerald Grant appears to be reading or signing a stack of important documents on Scandal, he is in fact working on the Washington Post's junior crossword puzzle, which he completes religiously every day of the week except for Sundays, when they run Sudoku instead. 4AM. INTERIOR OVAL OFFICE. FITZ sits at his desk, a half-empty decanter of whiskey at his elbow, his right hand at his temple. FITZ picks up the phone. FITZ…
Shafiqah Hudson's previous work for The Toast can be found here.
Like everyone and their mother, I watch Scandal with a devotion that borders on obsession (and frequently casually crosses that border.) I love everything about the show: the writing, the dialogue, and the endless, thrilling twists and intrigue that I sincerely hope resembles nothing that has ever gone on in Washington, ever. The whole cast is fantastic, especially the star, the
Start work tomorrow! E-mailed Olivia yesterday just to make sure everything was set. Hi Olivia! Hope your weekend is going good! Looking forward to joining the P & A team. Just wanted to confirm that my start date is tomorrow—I imagine you want me in by 9? And it’s business casual, right? Thanks!! No, 8. -O That sounds like she’s mad, right? Ugh, she hates me already. I don’t know what to wear…
Listen, just because we had a little too much lesbian separatism in the '70s doesn't mean we shouldn't have any now. For too long now has the word "slash" been used to exclusively refer to a set of pallid, languorous white-blonde youths semi-closetedly making out under the bleachers, and as much as I approve of Magic Twink Makeouts, one can tire of too much of almost anything. Which leads me to Scandal, the greatest television…
"I like you a lot, but the things I don't like about you...I hate." [To offscreen character] "Hi, Mom." [eight seconds of shocked silence, pan for reactions] [fade to black] Attractive But Deeply Disturbed Businesswoman: "Did you do this for me because I slept with you?" Charmingly Irresponsible, Rakish and Rugged Male Authority Figure: "Yes." ABDDB: "Really?" CIRRMAF: "No." ABDDB: "Do you think anyone knows we slept together?" CIRRMAF: "Yes." ABDDB: "Really?" CIRRMAF: "No." [later] Brittle…
