Suggestions For Improving Our Troubled World -The Toast

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To Whom It May Concern:

I have some advice for you.

1. Sell walkers with the cut-up tennis balls already stuck onto the bottom of the back two legs (I assume this is for additional friction and stability; the fact that almost every walker I see has tennis balls on it leads be to believe that walkers are dangerously unstable when sold as manufactured). Why should somebody who’s using a walker have to go buy a can of tennis balls and slice a bunch of Xes into them? They’ve got other things to worry about. You never see anybody with a cane who’s had to shove a tennis ball onto the bottom. Walker manufacturers need to take a few notes from cane manufacturers.

2. Coffee shops need to offer beverage sleeves that fit their (generally taller and wider) iced drinks, because the longer you take to finish a cold drink, the more sweat beads on the outside and gets all over your fingers and drips onto your sweater when you pick it up to take a drink. Sleeves for all drinks.

3. Restaurants with two single-occupancy bathrooms should stop marking one as the men’s room and one as the women’s room. It literally doesn’t matterIf there’s only one person in there, there is no need to have single-sex designations; the bathroom is by definition single-sex . If I never have to wait in line with two or three slightly nervous-looking women, then lean over and toggle the door to the so-called “men’s room,” then look at each other and silently ask do we dare? ever again, that will be fine by me.

Thanks you for your time.

Sincerely,
Mallory Ortberg

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