Keep hydrated. A good rule of thumb is to make sure you’re drinking eight ounces of water, tea or juice every couple of hours.
Remember that if you post more than one comment a minute, your account may be flagged for spam.
Eat a healthy, nourishing breakfast. You’re going to need a lot of energy.
Remember that “Ted Cruz” rhymes with “Fed Snooze.” Keep that one in your back pocket.
Gloating is fine, but everything in moderation.
Make sure to get up and walk around every thirty minutes or so. Consider putting together a standing desk.
Sisyphus metaphors are great, but don’t forget about the wealth of Greek myths you have available to you. Try switching it up! Tantalus is another good one, but he’s often underutilized. And you’ve got to be able to work in an analogy about Prometheus. Maybe Boehner is the bird that keeps eating his liver, and the liver is Congress, and fire is privatized health care? I don’t know. Keep working; you’ll come up with something.
Is there a Breaking Bad analogy to be made here? There’s got to be one. Find it.
Stretch.
Remember that “feet of clay” rhymes with “Every day should be government shutdown day.”
Tags: advice, at least one of my ex-girlfriends will find this helpful, drinking water, government shutdown, helpful tips, libertarians, taking care of yourself
hi i think i am kind of like that friend of yours but i’m a little afraid to post this right now because i had no idea i was such an odious jackass
“at least one of my ex-girlfriends will find this helpful”
i have known a lot of hot libertarian girls. something about those long arguments where you’re each fiercely accusing the other of bad faith…
I am quite sure that at least one of my own exes would forward this article to a young past-me, sauced in glee and loathing.
like libertarians have heard of sisyphus
actual comment on a friend’s FB today on a post re closing the National Parks:
“If you really look at the amount of land these “public” places cover you’d quickly realize who the real estate giant is.”
what
There just aren’t enough walls or desks in all the land for me to smack my head into.
Are there enough standing desks though
Oh goodness. (btw DON’T TELL HIM WHO OWNS ALL THE MORTGAGES)
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *breath* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
What point are you trying to make, Facebook person? Yeah, those park rangers are really making a killing selling off that public land to developers to build McMansions…? I suspect this person uses the word “sheeple” with some frequency.
It gets worse yo: I go “…the American people? Because national parks belong to us all?”
he replied “Wrong. If they belonged to us all then why are they closed? The FED owns the lands, obviously.”
I replied “The federal government represents the people. The parks are closed to save money as part of the government shutdown – if they stayed open all the employees required to run & maintain them would have to be paid, but my understanding is that they are being put on furlough. Regardless of which, I’m pretty sure the government isn’t about to sell Yellowstone to like, condo developers or something so your comment doesn’t even make sense”
and then OF course he made a stupid comment “laughing” that of course the govt doesn’t represent us at which I was not surprised and pretty much gave up
Wow. It’s kind of beautiful, how unshakeable his belief is that government is some kind of faceless, evil other that somehow has nothing to do with “the American people.” Dipshit, the parks are closed because the amoral corporate ass-kissers people like you elected shut them down. Remember that thing you do (or maybe you don’t do) where you vote for the elected officials that comprise “the government”? And I love how he so obviously thinks he’s got such an awesome “gotcha” with the “If they belonged to us then why are they closed?” He sure told you!
RIGHT? A thing of beauty and something to laugh at when I’m feeling down.
What more could you ask for from nimrods on Facebook?
Nimrods on Facebook is the name of my satirical thrash metal band.
Relevant: http://thinkprogress.org/climate/2013/09/26/26821…
Parks closed to the public but open for oil and gas drilling/mining.
🙁 🙁
libertarians LOVE Sisyphus! What are you talking about?
really? maybe in your fancy northern states where they accidentally got a good education (in which case why are they libertarian, but however)
Oh, plenty of middle-class kids whose grandparents went to college on the GI Bill, who learned to read & write in public schools, who drive on paved roads, who played soccer in public parks, who went to universities paid for by public funds are libertarians. You can lead a dudebro to the library, but you can’t make him think.
“You can lead a dudebro to the library, but you can’t make him think.”
I really want to laugh more at that statement, but it’s so true.
This perfectly sums up why I feel flames on the side of my face when I see posts from a libertarian high school classmate thanking the Republicans for standing strong to protect the economy from out of control government spending. The spending’s only out of control AFTER he’s graduated from the prestigious public university (which years of public school prepped him for).
Perfectly said!
so many white men with ponytails have terrifying smug boners rn
SMUG BONERS OMG that is perfect and hilarious. I can think of so many dudes who go through life with constant smug boners. They have a lot of overlap with guys who like to play devil’s advocate.
Hahaha play devil’s advocate and announce it
I honestly don’t know if my boyfriend is more libertarian, Republican or just completely distrustful of them all, but this post made me laugh regardless. (I suspect it may not make him laugh.)
I do have to at least stand up for libertarians a little bit. I have a friend who identifies as one who is remarkably calm, intelligent and has a lot of really good, common-sense ideas. She maintains that all those vocal crazies are not really libertarians.
I’m starting to think we need a new word for people who would prefer the federal government to do less in general, but who are not odious jackasses.
I was about to post a thing about how “one time my best friend gave me a hundred Ron Paul flyers and I put them all around my house including in the refrigerator and fireplace and my dad’s chair, and my Democrat parents were equally annoyed with the fact that there were a hundred pieces of cardstock all over their house and the fact that those pieces of cardstock were painted with Ron Paul’s face” – but hey, y’all, bringinsexybach is my best friend. She did this. HOLLA
As much as I love it, this anecdote does not do much for my claim of being not an odious jackass. I’m okay with it.
Nimrods on Facebook is the name of my satirical thrash metal band.
Did anyone else attempt to register for the healthcare marketplace on the federal web site yesterday?
I have been mildly interested in watching it for the last year or so, but all my friends have been jizzing so violently about it lately that I'm almost entirely turned off. I'm sure it's an excellent show but the fanboys are ruining it!
Then again, you could always form your OWN opinions. That’s fun too.