Coming to Bravo this fall: The False Housewives of Atlanta. Watch these shapeshifters ensorcell men and captivate their haters after trapping the true housewives under sea and under stone. The series delves into the lives of six monstrous witches impersonating women from Atlanta’s social elite. Juggling families, careers, magickal imprisonment, and jam-packed social calendars, the False Housewives live their triumphs and frustrations out loud. They also must carefully guard the True Housewives they have buried…
On August 3rd, 1862, a nineteen-year-old Irish immigrant named Jennie Hodgers joined the ranks of the 95th Illinois Infantry, successfully passing for a man during a physical examination in which she only had to show her hands and feet. For the next three years, she served as Pvt. Albert D. J. Cashier, engaging in as many as forty battles and skirmishes, where she fought bravely and memorably.
Men We Reaped, by National Book Award winner Jesmyn Ward, is a book about how place and home can shape lives indelibly. This memoir is a story of a grief so profound because those being grieved were cherished so keenly. It is a remembrance of five black men who died too young, and a chronicle of how a family grew together and fell away from one another but never came truly apart. Men We…
Previously: Gorgeous ex-boyfriends, the LA rental market, and auditions. What I've Learned: Men away from home at trade conventions...are awful. I thought about making that sentence less definitive, like saying "can be awful," but no. I said it right. They are awful. In college, I was a cocktail waitress at the Blue Max lounge in the basement of the Hyatt in Nashville, Tennessee. I thought nothing about applying for the job. I had been…
I was going to ask these questions to my brother, who is a scientist and also used to read Animorphs with me when we were kids, but he only answered some of them before going to bed, so I turn to you, the good people of the Toast. 1. I assume you are familiar with Clarke's law of science fiction writing, which states in part that "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." With this…
An intensely entertaining Reddit thread by former groupies on their best conquests. I mean, entertaining to me.
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Everyone would like to be Joan Didion sitting on the floor while Ray Manzarek tools around on the keyboard. Everyone would like to be Joan Didion, full stop. But there is something lost in the pursuit of this coolness. So often you’re telling a story because you want to be…
Elyse had a wedding to go to, and she needed clean underwear. She flipped through Glamour as she waited for her clothes to dry. The dryer cost a quarter for every 8-minute increment, and Elyse was trying to be better about not wasting money. So, after letting the dryer run for an initial 48 minutes, she put in a single quarter and let it run for 8 more. The clothes were never dry, though sometimes…
In the course of my life, I have ponied up at least $3000 on the trading card game Magic: The Gathering. Possibly much more--the room I grew up in has thousands upon thousands upon thousands of cards, neatly and recently sorted into white boxes designed for the express purpose of card housing. But my financial stake is relatively mild, at least by the standards of serious Magic players (no one calls it by its full name,…
I want to tell you about a movie. A movie where, whenever a character prays, he does so like a cartoon character: forehead bowed, eyes closed, hands clasped together with unbent fingers in the "I'm praying" position, on his knees. A movie where the line "Just this once, call me Daddy" inspired me to write 5000 words of Terrence Howard/Taye Diggs slashfic. A movie where good-looking men wear expensive peacoats all the time, and no…
Dear Pope Stephen VI: Thank you for your application for sainthood. Unfortunately, we are unable to grant your request at this time. When examining the merits of church prelates, the Congregation for the Causes of Saints looks favorably on efforts to strengthen the integrity of Church ecclesiastical offices. And of course no application for sainthood can be harmed if the applicant has been martyred in the name of Christ. We assume you know this, which…
Part One here. The itsy-bitsy spider Climbed up the water spout Down came the rain And washed the spider out Out came the sun And dried up all the rain And the itsy-bitsy spider Climbed up the spout again There he was culled by his larger and more genetically fit female mate She harvested his nutrients to feed herself and she was right to do it.
