Previously in our Allison Janney coverage: Things That Are Universally Liked Within A Particular Demographic.
My name is Allison Janney. I am — I was — an actress. I don’t know what I am now.
I have been here, I think, a little less than a year. It’s difficult to tell. There is no light in this building. At least there is no light that reaches me.
I tell others to thrive, but every day I remain here, I pray for death.
I do not know who I write these for. Perhaps for the one who comes after me, perhaps for no one at all.
I know that others will come, after I am gone. There will always be someone to read the lines. I thought I was coming in for an audition, the first day I came here.
“Tell them to thrive,” they hiss at me, over the hissing of my own fried and sizzingly skin. “Tell them about hugs, and tell them to walk in French. Put a smile in your voice.”
Kaiser Permanente means Eternal Ruler. No one will stop them. No one even realizes that they ought to be stopped.
I wonder if anyone in my old life has noticed I am missing.
There are others here, I know, although I cannot see them. No doubt this is deliberate. To remind me of their strength, to remind me of the impenetrability of this voiceover fortress.
I believe it is John Corbett’s screams that I hear in the cell next to mine. He — he tried to escape through death. They…corrected him. He speaks for Walgreens and Applebee’s both, now.
“FRIENDLIER,” the knife voices shriek through the pipes. “MORE NEIGHBORLY.” He flings himself against the walls. “TELL THEM ABOUT THE SAUCE. THE JACK DANIELS SAUCE. THE JACK DANIELS SAUCE AVAILABLE ON BOTH THE RIBS AND THE CHICKEN. TELL THEM ABOUT THE FLU SHOTS, JOHN. TELL THEM ABOUT WHAT WAITS FOR THEM, ON THE CORNER OF HAPPY AND HEALTHY.”
There is no corner of happy and healthy. Happy and healthy never meet.
My name is Allison Janney. I will never get out. They will never let me out.
I will thrive until it kills me.
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.