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Home: The Toast

These are all actual things that have been said to Jaya, in what she presumes are attempts to compliment her appearance or hit on her. This is how she wishes she had responded.

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Jaya Saxena is a New Yorker who writes for lots of things. The Toast, Uncommon Courtesy, and New Amsterdam Mystery Company are some of them. Follow her on Twitter @jayasax. Matt Lubchansky makes comics and occasionally leaves his apartment in New York. His work includes Please Listen to Me and New Amsterdam Mystery Company. He's on Twitter, and doesn't expect you to get his name right.

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