Live every day with the confidence of a fifteen-year-old who’s smoked pot twice talking to a fifteen-year-old who’s only smoked pot once.
Follow your bliss. Track its movements. Learn its habits. Hunt your bliss and kill it.
Do one thing every day that scares you, like drowning, or watching one of your beloved children die before his time.
Pain is just strength and energy leaving your body forever.
Treat everyone around you with the kindness of that woman in your office who brings bagels to work every other Friday.
Live every day like you’re the kind of person who has a framed Breakfast at Tiffany‘s poster over her bed.
Love as boldly as a 20-year-old atheist coming home for Christmas break with copies of God Is Not Great for everyone in her family that never asked for one.
Go to work every day with the same confidence as a white barista with dreadlocks.
Fall asleep every night like Netflix doesn’t exist.
Every time God closes a door, he opens a window. Every time you reach the window, he closes it on your fingers. Every time he closes a window, the door locks. Every time God locks the door, the chimney collapses. You will never make it out of this house.
Forgive others the way you’d forgive your best friend at two in the morning after fighting during her birthday party sleepover.
Be as self-assured as a high school sophomore who’s had sex once talking about lovemaking techniques to a high school junior who’s only seen the top half of a girl naked.
Tags: advice, inspiration, quotes
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“Live every day like you’re the kind of person who has a framed Breakfast at Tiffany‘s poster over her bed.” I shall live life amused by racism, charmed by sexism, and possibly being Blair Waldorf. [sets jaw nobly]
Never has the truth been spoken more plainly than this.
Not even joking, I would buy the shit out of a Toast series of motivational posters.
Or embroidered pillows
Already trying to decide which quote to start a cross-stitch for.
I would go with “follow your bliss” myself but damn, the CHOICES.
I made one into a motivational poster and I can’t figure out how to post the dam thing. Sigh.
I just learned how to do this and might be wrong, but I think if you upload the image to the internet, and then link to the page like so:
<img src “www.relevantlink.com”> BUT with an equals sign between the src and quotation mark
it should post.
Not that I really want to see this poster or anything.
Did it! Pics in the comments, yay and thank you so much!
I will make them! https://twitter.com/IceBergMama/status/4532290893…
YES! Superb font choice.
You are a treasure, dear woman.
BLESS.
Very tempted to transfer a few of these to white fancy font on pastel background and post them to facebook and tag all my aunts.
I’m picturing “Love as boldly as a 20-year-old atheist coming home for Christmas break with copies of God Is Not Great for everyone in her family that never asked for one.” superimposed on a stock photo of majestic mountains.
I WAS ONCE THAT ATHEIST
Only the fact that my parents are themselves godless heathens prevented me from being that atheist!
My parents are godless heathens, so I brought home copies of I Kissed Dating Goodbye and The Screwtape Letters.
Heh heh, my parents are also godless heathens, so my biggest adolescent rebellion was getting baptized as a Christian at age 33.
Me too! Although, I got baptized the night after my junior prom. It’s entirely possible my parents would have preferred I stayed out all night with my boyfriend instead.
It’s an atheist rite of passage!!
Hey, if you realize that you’ve gotten something right which nearly all of the greatest minds that Western civilization got wrong before you can even legally drink and that thought doesn’t go to your head, you should check your pulse.
Still am… but with a salt and pepper stripe in my hair.
Impeccably-styled blond couple push vintage bicycles through a sun-dappled meadow, beneath charming cursive handwriting: “Live. Laugh. LOOK DEATH IN THE FACE”
I would post the shit out of those on Pinterest.
I’m posting the shit out of Iceberg’s pink beautiful typography poster (see above) RIGHT NOW. If you see it, share it.
“Fall asleep every night like Netflix doesn’t exist.” will be joining my collection of inspirational post-its as soon as I get home (said collection currently includes quotes from Rachel Kushner, Robert Downey Jr., David Foster Wallace, and the Beastie Boys).
BRB making motivational images of “Go to work every day with the same confidence as a white barista with dreadlocks” for my Pinterest Board / office wall / LIFE
Can we make a Toast pinterest board? Motivational posters, dirtbag comics, and Dad magazine would be re-pinned like WHOA.
I have a friend who is that barista, though I think we talked him out of the dreadlocks. It wasn’t easy, though.
I was at an academic conference a couple weeks ago and there was a white woman there with the longest dreadlocks I’ve ever seen. She sat on a chair and they were at the floor. I can’t.
the best part about seeing a white person with dreadlocks is knowing they have spent COUNTLESS HOURS thinking about HOW to do their hair that way but ZERO HOURS thinking about whether they SHOULD do their hair that way
I took a picture and put it on the Twitter that I don’t give out to academic acquaintances. It was nuuuts.
http://youtu.be/4PLvdmifDSk?t=1m40s
“Forgive others the way you’d forgive your best friend at two in the morning after fighting during her birthday party sleepover.”
This speaks to me. I only “forgive” people when I’ll get grounded if I don’t. And I had my fingers crossed behind my back anyway.
so apparently because it’s monday and my 37th coffee has yet to kick me in the face with it’s delicious chemical stimulants, and i just had a wonderful (exhausting) and delightful (exhausting) and not-at-all-too-long-visit from my mother this past week (exhausting), my first thought was:
OOOOOOH. I KNOW OF A RELEVANT ARTICLE I ONCE READ THAT COULD BE APPLICABLE HERE.
… and then i looked it up on The Google and realized it was actually By Mallory already? and was on the-toast? because, like, obvi.
ALL THINGS THROUGH COMPLEX CARBOHYDRATES.
[taking to the sea intensifies]
http://the-toast.net/2013/07/18/posters-to-run-aw…
so badly want to make more but this will do for now:
Edit: huh weird the image disappeared. just a link!
https://twitter.com/rosencrantz/status/4532353820…
With thanks to britomartian for the lightning-fast response when I whined that I don’t remember the code!
Fingers crossed that this worked!
THIS IS SO WONDERFUL IT BUUUUURNS.
WHY CAN’T I LIKE THIS POST MORE THAN ONCE
TRY HARDER my new way of judging myself is by how many likes I get on the Toast!
Ahhh, how I love it when an altruistic impulse yields tangible rewards.
Follow your bliss…directly to my laptop as wallpaper, thank you very much. You people are got-danged amazing.
I love it when people channel their inner Hank Hill. <3
THESE ARE AMAZING. I want them all printed and up in my office.
Brilliant!
Everything happens for a reason, especially if you’re a white middle-class able-bodied person with a reasonable chance of expecting that your situation will improve.
Would like this as a wall-sized poster plz thx
ohhhh my new fav thiiiiiiing
These remind me of those quotes attributed to Marilyn Monroe, who was apparently more prolific in her generation of bon mots than Shakespeare, Martin Luther King, Jr, Abraham Lincoln, and Dorothy Parker, combined.
Forgive others the way you’d forgive your best friend at two in the morning after fighting during her birthday party sleepover.
I mean, this might be the hardest and truest and bestest thing for me to ever aspire to…
Right, me neither, but we can ASPIRE!
Hey, if you realize that you've gotten something right which nearly all of the greatest minds that Western civilization got wrong before you can even legally drink and that thought doesn't go to your head, you should check your pulse.
“…a high school junior who’s only seen the top half of a girl naked.”
I enjoyed parsing the various permutations of this phrase.
That woman who brings in the bagels is an insane she-beast haaaaa. I’m convinced she licks all the bagels and muffins so I never eat them.
That woman who brings in the bagels is an insane she-beast haaaaa. I'm convinced she licks all the bagels and muffins so I never eat them.
1. I always feel like a terrible cynical person for internally sneering at inspirational posters, now I know I am RIGHT!
2. Like others have said, I would totally buy posters of these if you decided to sell them, Mallory.
3. “Hunt your bliss and kill it” is now in pride of place in my whiteboard along with pics of my favorite ladies (Kstew as Joan Jett, Janelle Monae, and the Bomb Girls). I’ll try to insert a photo, not sure if it’ll work:
Or, as Krystal says on Squidbillies:
“Work like you ain’t never been hurt
Fuck like you don’t need the money
Scratch like no one’s watching”
my favorite is & remains the “you will never make it out of this house” one. even if it’s slightly too chilling for me to ever want to confront it on a regular basis in poster form.