“Women should always be nude. All women should be nude, all of the time. To clothe yourself is to tell a lie, you disgusting falsehood.”
“Diet Coke for me.”
***
“I understand Hitler. What can I say? I understand Hitler, and Hitler understands me.”
“We need another minute.”
***
“I WANT TO WATCH YOU DEGRADE YOURSELF.”
“And he’ll just have the club.”
***
“This is cream on cream. A woman’s mistake! I feel ready to reject this like a wrongly transplanted organ.”
“Sorry, do you have skim?”
***
“Watching a fox eat its own innards is as natural as eating a bowl of cereal.”
“More napkins would be great, thank you.”
***
“Orgasm. Yes, that’s fine enough. But, orgasms, Ferraris and other pleasures. Yes, but the death and suffering at the other end of the scale, those weigh more, I think. And there’s much more suffering and pain than pleasure. And when you enjoy a spring day, that too is a kind of melancholy.”
“No, everything’s fine, it’s really great, thank you.”
***
“Cut your genitals, cut them with scissors, it is the only way for man to fuck God right back, it is the only way.”
“Yeah, we’re still working on this.”
***
“Nature is Satan’s church.”
“We’d love to see the dessert menu.”
“True values entail suffering.”
***
“WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE THE ERECTION TO BE. YOU MUST ANSWER THE QUESTION, YOU ARE NOT A DEER IN THE WOODS.”
“We’ll take –”
“I AM THE ONLY MAN IN THE WORLD WHO COULD RESENT A SUNSET.”
“We’ll take separate checks, thanks.”
Tags: food, lunch, messed up dudes, noted directors of awful movies, please imagine me saying all of these things in a silly danish accent, some of these quotes are real and some of them are made up, the problem with getting lunch with lars von trier
I hate Lars Von Trier so much I would take him to lunch at TGI Fridays.
Weirdly, they have a lot of those in Denmark.
What’s the opposite of a Patronus? That’s what Lars is.
My friend has been suggesting that I see Nymphomaniac (I probably won’t). I really liked Melancholia, but von Trier seems … creepy.
Melancholia is one of my favourite films, but yeah, I have been deliberately avoiding the rest of Von Triers’s oeuvre.
I liked Melancholia a lot, it was one of the more realistic depictions of depression I’ve seen.
I don’t think you need to do that. The Idiots is pretty interesting, and though it takes a lot to get over, Dogville is an amazing film. Can’t speak for many of the others.
I…. actually liked it? Liked it a lot, actually. Sure SOME of the content I felt a little weird by (let’s watch another tormented woman torment herself more!), but on the whole it was surprisingly good and evocative of something basic in human desire… and it was also funny. Like, actually kind of funny. I am usually pretty skeptical of how women are portrayed in film (how can people say that the women were written so well in American Hustle?!??!), but this surprisingly didn’t set off any alarms.
I thought it was quite funny as well! And ridiculous, but funny.
My desire to never, ever watch any of Lars von Trier’s movies is SO STRONG.
JUST BECAUSE ANTICHRIST IS ON NETFLIX DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD WATCH IT. *hands fly to genitals*
Once when I was really fried on acid I thought it would be a great idea to watch Antichrist for the first time and the friend who was sitting for me was like absolutely not that is a BAD IDEA so now I owe him a wookiee life-debt.
That is literally the worst idea I have ever heard.
Yeah, maybe send that friend some cookies or something.
I
Well, my hands hovered over the keyboard for a long minute while I tried to think of a word to replace “like” or “love” or “enjoy,” because none of those is a thing I felt about Antichrist.
But I think highly of the film. It made more of an impression on me than any of von Trier’s other work. In there with all the horror and trauma, it has a certain austere beauty that reminded me of a particularly nasty Northern Renaissance woodcut.
It also stayed with me in a way few films have. It lived behind my eyes for weeks, even months. Every so often, I would find myself just staring off into the distance, thinking about Antichrist.
To be honest, I haven’t seen Antichrist, not quite been ready to make the commitment. But Melancholia stuck with me the way you describe. Lars von Trier definitely makes an impression with his work and he’s intriguingly difficult to pin down as a person…is he an anti-Semitic misogynist, evil genius, plain-ole genius, what? WHAT?
Even just reading plot summaries of Von Trier’s movies causes me to shiver in revulsion.
I wince so much reading them and then horrifiedly ask myself if it was really worth it to understand that reference someone made when talking about The Hunt.
The answer is always, “No. Really, no.”
Ugh me too
“I WANT TO WATCH YOU DEGRADE YOURSELF.”
“And he’ll just have the club.”
He wanted her to split the dessert instead of getting two that sick fuck.
But Dogville’s not bad, in a drama school misanthrope sort of way.
I clicked on the ‘messed up dudes’ tag and was disappointed to find only this entry in there. (I mean this entry is spot on but I wanted more, greedily.)
After watching Dancer in the Dark years ago I still can’t listen to Björk without feeling all the feels. (I mean, more than the standard Björk-related feels.)
Sometimes when I read the Toast, I think, “This is great, but I have a feeling that I am either not informed enough or too sane to fully get this piece.” On that note, I was highly appreciative of the tags accompanying this piece; they really helped me clarify which side of the tracks I was on.
[guys i really like lars von trier movies tho he’s actually pretty funny oh man i’ll just show myself out]
No no, don’t show yourself out! We can agree that Lars does make some great films while also acknowledging that he is a terrific freaky weirdo. MULTIPLICITIES!
Up next: Trying to Explain Popular Culture to Lars Von Trier.
“What does the fox say?”
“CHAOS REIGNS.”
“Not – ”
“I KNOW WHAT THE FOX EATS, THOUGH. WANNA KNOW?
“…no, thank you, Lars.”
On the bright side, he could potentially engage in a fantastic dialogue about Game of Thrones:
“Hey Lars, did you catch Game of Thrones on Sunday? That wedding, right?”
“I grew up in a culturally radical home, where strong emotions were forbidden.”
“I love the Starks also, bro.”
We need Lars and Werner Herzog to talk about what the fox truly says.
I like Lars von Trier too, but I also like this.
Very well said. :)<img src="http://s04.flagcounter.com/count//kfoW/bg=FFFFFF/txt=000000/border=FFFFFF/columns=1/maxflags=1/viewers=P/labels=1/pageviews=0/flags=1/" height="1" width="1" />
Next up: Nicholas Winding Refn and Quentin Tarantino.
He’s also a fucking racist. I’m such a member of the Hate Trier Club.
No no, don't show yourself out! We can agree that Lars does make some great films while also acknowledging that he is a terrific freaky weirdo. MULTIPLICITIES!
I
Well, my hands hovered over the keyboard for a long minute while I tried to think of a word to replace "like" or "love" or "enjoy," because none of those is a thing I felt about Antichrist.
But I think highly of the film. It made more of an impression on me than any of von Trier's other work. In there with all the horror and trauma, it has a certain austere beauty that reminded me of a particularly nasty Northern Renaissance woodcut.
It also stayed with me in a way few films have. It lived behind my eyes for weeks, even months. Every so often, I would find myself just staring off into the distance, thinking about Antichrist.
Yeah, maybe send that friend some cookies or something.
I thought it was quite funny as well! And ridiculous, but funny.