This week I went out for dinner with my family to celebrate my brother-in-law’s birthday and was served an entire fish. Afterwards, I took a small piece of pasta, stuck it in the fish’s mouth like it was smoking a cigar, and moved the fish’s dead jaws up and down while doing a fair-to-middling impression of Edward G. Robinson.
I cannot be entirely sure, but I believe the dialogue goes something like this: “Yeah…yeah, see! I want more. More, see! Myeahh. What kind of crackers…bananas operation is this?”
If you are ever served a whole fish I highly recommend using it to practice your Edward G. Robinson impression on, even if afterwards your brother-in-law says “Sometimes I feel a little embarrassed going out for a nice dinner with you.”
Video courtesy of my dad. Thanks for filming this, Dad.
Tags: edward g. robinson, fish, food, myeah see, nice restaurants
Proud to call you my friend today
I am not capable of conveying in mere text how hard I laughed, even before playing the video, when I clicked through and saw that there was video at all. I can say, however, that the neighbor through the wall stopped moving around in there and stood still, just listening for a few minutes.
I’d be embarrassed to go out to dinner with someone who got a whole fish and just let its head sit there instead of using it for comedic effect, as is clearly its intended purpose.
A-men. Why else would it have an articulated jaw, I ask of you?
Exactly! The last time I had a whole fish at dinner you better believe we instagrammed that fish head asap.
Pow! Right in the kisser.
Mallory, you are a gift from the heavens, and I praise every day you are on this earth.
Now do Charlie Chaplain with the potatoes.
Further proof that Mallory’s dad is the Best Dad.
Further proof that Mallory's dad is the Best Dad.
You’ve gotta take those nice restaurants down a peg sometimes. Can’t let anyone go around thinking that their dining establishment is too highbrow for their patrons to have a little fun with their food scraps.
I once made a raw chicken dance a jig for the benefit of my squeamish cousin. She’s a vegan chef now, though I refuse to admit that my performance may have influenced that choice in any way.
As Leonardo DiCaprio slowly but surely turns into Edward G. Robinson…
Buffy bless you, Mallory.
Mallory wins.
I see nothing wrong with this. I believe I read in a Miss Manners column that any food with a mouth must be used for long dead celebrity impressions. Otherwise the chef gets offended.
I see nothing wrong with this. I believe I read in a Miss Manners column that any food with a mouth must be used for long dead celebrity impressions. Otherwise the chef gets offended.