Query: Do other dads MAKE foods in their basement, or like mine, simply STORE foods in their basement? My dad is not a hoarder or a big food stockpiler in any way, but once he went to Costco and they were selling 5-gallon buckets full of emergency food supplies for like,….72 hours, or longer if you had other foods to stretch it with, and he brought one home and now it lives in the basement. SO, what other types of Foods are Dads making in their basement? Wine? Beer? Pickled items?
Also my husband gave my dad a couple of MREs (to show how much they’ve changed since my dad’s own MRE-eating days) and it was like, the greatest day of my dad’s life, and now he is super excited to taste-test the “salmon.”
Frenz_lo+16
For the longest time, my dad would “stock up” every time the grocery store had a sale on his favorite Little Debbie products, so the house would be awash in ancient Swiss Cake Rolls.
CordeliaFitz+5
My dad made beer, and I have an uncle who makes cheese. My aunt isn’t too pleased about that, because apparently the smell in the basement can be less than pleasant at times.
aravisthequeen+4
I live near a cheese factory and the smell sometimes can be….not the best. I would not want it in my basement. I feel for your aunt.
HeyHandsome+33
My dad made beer in the basement. When it came time for bottling, my siblings used to disappear leaving me, the youngest (and obviously dimmest) of his off-spring, to assist. This invariably took place on a Sunday night.
Assisting my father with the beer bottling also invariably involved beer flooding out of the neck of the bottles onto the floor until it pooled around my feet and soaked into my socks. The bottles were stubbies back in those days. Not the long neck bottles of today’s spoiled generation of beer bottling assistants which at least give some time to shut off the flow. Dark, brown stubbies which suddenly and without warning runneth over with the dark, brown English bitter that my father favoured.
In an effort towards self-preservation, I began to wear my running shoes while this beer-boarding took place. As any Canadian will tell you, the wearing of shoes in the house is an act of supreme indecency. It is a violation of the sanctity of the home; a gross intrusion of the public filth into the salubriousness of the private space. This, then, was the extreme to which I was driven by my father’s hobby.
The corollary to the Sunday-night bottling was the Monday morning after, the morning after the night before, when I would arrive at school reeking of warm, stale beer; announcing my presence to the sober morning with gummy runners squeeking their way down the halls of academia.
This happened with such sufficient frequency that I was eventually suspected of a substance abuse issue and referred for counselling.
Thanks, Dad!
PRockette+16
My dad makes his own wine but stores the demijohns in the dining room. The lid blew on one and my mom said she could smell the grapieness from the porch. She had an intense debate with herself about whether to go in or turn around and leave the mess for my dad to discover. This is based on a rule my siblings and i had as teenagers: the first person to acknowledge the mess (cat puke, spilled anything etc.) had to clean it.
extermikate+7
My grandfather was obsessed with the family cabin, and as soon as it got too cold/snowy for trips up, he would start buying canned food to bring to the cabin in the spring. Our basement walls were always lined with infinite cans of corned beef hash.
logicbutton+14
My dad stores them, presumably because he has not yet worked out how to manufacture Wheat Thins and Diet Coke, especially on the industrial scale on which he keeps them in the house at all times.
Bryn (Plus Others)+23
This is a disturbing question, because while my father has never shown any sign of making food in his basement, our partner would TOTALLY be doing this… and he is a dad… augh, I have changed demographics!
DunaVelo+26
My dad once filled the ENTIRE fridge freezer with hot dogs because they were on sale for 20 cents or something.
slowseptember+16
My dad just got a hundred bucks of pork tenderloin for thirty-nine cents. DADS!
aravisthequeen+8
Where the hell does your dad shop because I need to go there.
slowseptember+10
It was a Safeway error – pricing errors go in favour of the customer! A bunch of 25.00$ tenderloins priced accidentally at 9 and 10 cents. Dad got the last of them, apparently.
aravisthequeen+2
Nothing like that ever happens at the stupid Independent I shop at! UGH, SAFEWAY, WHY.
headfullofhoney+5
My dad keeps stuff in the basement whilst it pickles, but prepares it in the kitchen. #JustDadThings
Sarah D+18
My dad made limoncello in the closet (they don’t have a basement).
Household_Opera+4
My dad never made or stored weird foods, but one of my uncles brews maple mead — made from maple syrup instead of honey. Every year at Christmas he opens a bottle and we all ceremonially drink tiny glasses of it. I have to say, it’s good stuff, and it’s made me wish I had a basement so I could experiment with brewing mead myself.
thebitterfig+8
My dad got a “grow your own portobello mushrooms” kit once.
Pear+5
my parents don’t exactly have a basement; they live in a sort of basement flat where my dad makes pickled fish.
it’s
interesting
AmazingSandwich+37
I am concerned that Dad Magazine is encouraging dads to jump into the Pit of Sarlaac.
thisclimbingbean+16
Basements aren’t really a thing here (I don’t really know why! Lots of space? Hmm) but my dad made ginger beer and used to ferment it under the house. I guess because it was cooler under there? Anyway, needless to say, it exploded and completely freaked everyone out because it was during the night and it woke them all up (this was pre-my birth. Apparently all the fun things happened in that time period).
Actually, now that I think of it, Dad is a bit of a hoarder. When they were living on the farm, if they went to one of the major cities, he’d stock up on stuff like cheese and toilet paper and honey flavoured yoghurt. And he is very fond of making marmelade… used to keep it in the linen cupboard.
Wow. He’s so Dad-like. I had never thought about this before…
Bryn (Plus Others)+5
Honey-flavoured yogurt is a LIFE NECESSITY just ask the people in my head
thisclimbingbean+2
I’m much more a vanilla or berry person myself. But you and my dad are obviously cut from the same cloth!
Sarah+1
Wait, you can actually buy honey-flavored yogurt? What’s so hard about buying plain yogurt and putting honey in it?
Also, despite me being a cis-female without kids, I think I might be a dad.
TheAntiHumorEquation+17
Cocktails. My dad uses the basement for making cocktails.
tragicallyludicrous+28
Whenever leaving a restaurant, my dad always makes sure we all have toothpicks. Thanks Dad.
bgprincipessa+6
My dad has upped it a notch: he now has a bag of Plackers available at all times. He’ll whip one out of his pocket and offer it to people – who would want to put something that was in his pocket in their mouth, I ask you?
Frenz_lo+31
My dad’s best basement projects to date: colloidal silver (long fallen out of favor as a medicine, except among cranks and preppers); a book scanner that he built himself out of wood, small motors, and a digital camera. Some of our dads could benefit from Advanced Dad magazine, because they are next-level dads.
embryoconcepts+3
Wait, I’ve been prescribed colloidal silver ointment for skin things before, and it helped greatly. Both times by real, live doctors.
Frenz_lo+12
But if you swallow enough of it, you turn blue! Forever! And the crank/prepper trend is to take it internally, and also to make your own. I’m willing to be there are differences between the risks and benefits of a topical cream vs just chuggin’ it.
PonyAlong+1
I’ve been using colloidal silver on a weird staph-like rash on my face and it seems to be helping, unlike the cortisol ointment which has proven near useless. So yay colloidal silver!
Fluffernutter+5
A book scanner?? I am thoroughly impressed by your dad’s dadliness. (Daditude?)
thinwireoflightning+4
He’s using it for cottage cheese and blueberries. Or else Balkan yogurt and Splenda on strawberries. All his food fads have their day.
vmartinipie+26
My dad just got a new barbecue and spent like fifteen minutes telling me all about its features: smoker included, warming tray, side table, and the coal tray ADJUSTS IN HEIGHT!!!!! Oh, papa.
headfullofhoney+22
Toothpicks, straws, and napkins “for the car.” Also so many mints, all the mints.
PonyAlong+20
My late Dad made all kinds of wonderful things in the basement (I still have the hobby horse he made for me and I’ll never give it up) but his attempt at brewing root beer was a disaster; it was the only thing that got the better of him. Man, I miss him more than anything.
robotneedslove+11
TINKERING
robotneedslove+4
My dad, I’m pretty sure, has at least 1000 sq feet in total (between the basement and the shed at the cabin) devoted entirely to his “shops”.
anninyn+17
My parents don’t have a basement, and after his abortive brewing attempt in the house where we had a pantry, my dad doesn’t make things.
What he does do is music. He recently bought some speakers and made me bring round music so he could test the bass. And he invites complete strangers off the streets and shows them his bedroom recording studio. He records them, too.
He is yet to be murdered and robbed, and none of us know how come.
HeyHandsome
Uuuummm. May we ask what your father records these strangers doing in his bedroom.
I’m thinking there’s a fetish website involved.
anninyn+4
Music.
He invites buskers round and gets them to sing for him.
They only have a little flat – one bedroom, living room, bathroom, kitchen – so he doesn’t have a spare room for his recording equipment like he did at the old house.
deleted2997279+4
Well that escalated quickly.
HeyHandsome+2
I knew it. Busker porn.
dakimel+10
Why even have a restaurant if you don’t have a toothpick dispenser at the front counter? If there’s no toothpick dispenser, can you even call yourself a restaurant?
EPWordsnatcher+17
My dad apparently broke his old lawnmower today, attempted to fix it, broke it further, contemplated ordering replacement parts, and ended up buying a new lawnmower. Then my mom texted me about it. Exciting day in DAD land.
deniserayman+13
My dad’s snowblower once broke, and the neighbors happened to throw away the same model of snowblower, and he took their snowblower out of the trash and managed to fix his own broken snowblower. Which he still owns and uses. My dad has 3 advanced degrees but making one working snowblower out of two broken snowblowers is probably his proudest achievement, and is not likely to be surpassed.
Oh and he likes to go blow the snow off the driveway at 4 in the morning, which really annoys the same neighbors that threw away that snowblower. They must have so many regrets.
mollyculetheory+7
DAAAAAD DON’T JUMP! My dad once jumped off of a sand dune to amuse us and landed on a bit of sandstone hidden in the dune and broke his tailbone and had to sit on one of those rubber donuts for the rest of vacation.
See also the time he got water in his ear throwing us in the hotel pool & then went up the elevator at the Sears Tower and got some sort of dreadful eardrum-thing. Or when we made him go on the Drachen Fire at Busch Gardens and it crinked his neck and he couldn’t hold his head straight ahead for days OMG DAD I’M SORRY D:
Fluffernutter+13
Sounds like an article is needed in the next issue: “Putting Your Body At Risk For Their Amusement: How Far Is TOO FAR?”
bgprincipessa+6
At a BBQ, a bunch of other dads tried to throw my dad in the pool, but they underestimated both their own drunkenness and my dad’s weight. They ended up half dragging him across the pool deck and then into the pool, where a ribbon of blood was immediately spotted floating up from where he was. They had dragged his toe across the ground, scraping it deeply. It was then plugged up with coffee grounds (Colombians!).
When Groups of Dads Lose Control.
Princess Shinylocks
Oh man, DRACHEN FIRE!! That was the most brutal and amazing coaster ever. I rode it like six times in a row once, and then they made me stop riding it because that is a terrible idea.
figwiggin+7
When my dad came to visit from Mexico most recently, he told me that he’d really acquired a taste for spicy food lately while spooning Huy Fong chili garlic sauce onto my homemade fettuccine carbonara.
figwiggin+6
Also, I took him to a get-together with some Toastie and non-Toastie friends and I think he fistbumped everyone present at one time or another.
polka_stripes
Well that escalated quickly.
RoseCamelia+8
I am happy for all you Toasties with good dads. Truly I am. My dad, however, should never have had children and my dad-related thoughts turn dark, so apologies in advance.
How many dads have the time for tinkering because they have few or no domestic chores? Are they experimenting in the basement or hobbying in the yard because a woman keeps them in clean clothing, clean home, clean food, clean children? Constantly cleaning, repairing, supervising, planning. Women’s work is often behind a dad’s spare time accomplishments. In my family, anyway.
notpollyanna
I saw that and thought, "Is he doing a cannonball? Into the sand?"
tachi+13
Introducing the Dad Magazine series to my dad: “So I can’t actually click on any of them? It’s just the covers?”
Query: Do other dads MAKE foods in their basement, or like mine, simply STORE foods in their basement? My dad is not a hoarder or a big food stockpiler in any way, but once he went to Costco and they were selling 5-gallon buckets full of emergency food supplies for like,….72 hours, or longer if you had other foods to stretch it with, and he brought one home and now it lives in the basement. SO, what other types of Foods are Dads making in their basement? Wine? Beer? Pickled items?
Also my husband gave my dad a couple of MREs (to show how much they’ve changed since my dad’s own MRE-eating days) and it was like, the greatest day of my dad’s life, and now he is super excited to taste-test the “salmon.”
For the longest time, my dad would “stock up” every time the grocery store had a sale on his favorite Little Debbie products, so the house would be awash in ancient Swiss Cake Rolls.
My dad made beer, and I have an uncle who makes cheese. My aunt isn’t too pleased about that, because apparently the smell in the basement can be less than pleasant at times.
I live near a cheese factory and the smell sometimes can be….not the best. I would not want it in my basement. I feel for your aunt.
My dad made beer in the basement. When it came time for bottling, my siblings used to disappear leaving me, the youngest (and obviously dimmest) of his off-spring, to assist. This invariably took place on a Sunday night.
Assisting my father with the beer bottling also invariably involved beer flooding out of the neck of the bottles onto the floor until it pooled around my feet and soaked into my socks. The bottles were stubbies back in those days. Not the long neck bottles of today’s spoiled generation of beer bottling assistants which at least give some time to shut off the flow. Dark, brown stubbies which suddenly and without warning runneth over with the dark, brown English bitter that my father favoured.
In an effort towards self-preservation, I began to wear my running shoes while this beer-boarding took place. As any Canadian will tell you, the wearing of shoes in the house is an act of supreme indecency. It is a violation of the sanctity of the home; a gross intrusion of the public filth into the salubriousness of the private space. This, then, was the extreme to which I was driven by my father’s hobby.
The corollary to the Sunday-night bottling was the Monday morning after, the morning after the night before, when I would arrive at school reeking of warm, stale beer; announcing my presence to the sober morning with gummy runners squeeking their way down the halls of academia.
This happened with such sufficient frequency that I was eventually suspected of a substance abuse issue and referred for counselling.
Thanks, Dad!
My dad makes his own wine but stores the demijohns in the dining room. The lid blew on one and my mom said she could smell the grapieness from the porch. She had an intense debate with herself about whether to go in or turn around and leave the mess for my dad to discover. This is based on a rule my siblings and i had as teenagers: the first person to acknowledge the mess (cat puke, spilled anything etc.) had to clean it.
My grandfather was obsessed with the family cabin, and as soon as it got too cold/snowy for trips up, he would start buying canned food to bring to the cabin in the spring. Our basement walls were always lined with infinite cans of corned beef hash.
My dad stores them, presumably because he has not yet worked out how to manufacture Wheat Thins and Diet Coke, especially on the industrial scale on which he keeps them in the house at all times.
This is a disturbing question, because while my father has never shown any sign of making food in his basement, our partner would TOTALLY be doing this… and he is a dad… augh, I have changed demographics!
My dad once filled the ENTIRE fridge freezer with hot dogs because they were on sale for 20 cents or something.
My dad just got a hundred bucks of pork tenderloin for thirty-nine cents. DADS!
Where the hell does your dad shop because I need to go there.
It was a Safeway error – pricing errors go in favour of the customer! A bunch of 25.00$ tenderloins priced accidentally at 9 and 10 cents. Dad got the last of them, apparently.
Nothing like that ever happens at the stupid Independent I shop at! UGH, SAFEWAY, WHY.
My dad keeps stuff in the basement whilst it pickles, but prepares it in the kitchen. #JustDadThings
My dad made limoncello in the closet (they don’t have a basement).
My dad never made or stored weird foods, but one of my uncles brews maple mead — made from maple syrup instead of honey. Every year at Christmas he opens a bottle and we all ceremonially drink tiny glasses of it. I have to say, it’s good stuff, and it’s made me wish I had a basement so I could experiment with brewing mead myself.
My dad got a “grow your own portobello mushrooms” kit once.
my parents don’t exactly have a basement; they live in a sort of basement flat where my dad makes pickled fish.
it’s
interesting
I am concerned that Dad Magazine is encouraging dads to jump into the Pit of Sarlaac.
Basements aren’t really a thing here (I don’t really know why! Lots of space? Hmm) but my dad made ginger beer and used to ferment it under the house. I guess because it was cooler under there? Anyway, needless to say, it exploded and completely freaked everyone out because it was during the night and it woke them all up (this was pre-my birth. Apparently all the fun things happened in that time period).
Actually, now that I think of it, Dad is a bit of a hoarder. When they were living on the farm, if they went to one of the major cities, he’d stock up on stuff like cheese and toilet paper and honey flavoured yoghurt. And he is very fond of making marmelade… used to keep it in the linen cupboard.
Wow. He’s so Dad-like. I had never thought about this before…
Honey-flavoured yogurt is a LIFE NECESSITY just ask the people in my head
I’m much more a vanilla or berry person myself. But you and my dad are obviously cut from the same cloth!
Wait, you can actually buy honey-flavored yogurt? What’s so hard about buying plain yogurt and putting honey in it?
Also, despite me being a cis-female without kids, I think I might be a dad.
Cocktails. My dad uses the basement for making cocktails.
Whenever leaving a restaurant, my dad always makes sure we all have toothpicks. Thanks Dad.
My dad has upped it a notch: he now has a bag of Plackers available at all times. He’ll whip one out of his pocket and offer it to people – who would want to put something that was in his pocket in their mouth, I ask you?
My dad’s best basement projects to date: colloidal silver (long fallen out of favor as a medicine, except among cranks and preppers); a book scanner that he built himself out of wood, small motors, and a digital camera. Some of our dads could benefit from Advanced Dad magazine, because they are next-level dads.
Wait, I’ve been prescribed colloidal silver ointment for skin things before, and it helped greatly. Both times by real, live doctors.
But if you swallow enough of it, you turn blue! Forever! And the crank/prepper trend is to take it internally, and also to make your own. I’m willing to be there are differences between the risks and benefits of a topical cream vs just chuggin’ it.
I’ve been using colloidal silver on a weird staph-like rash on my face and it seems to be helping, unlike the cortisol ointment which has proven near useless. So yay colloidal silver!
A book scanner?? I am thoroughly impressed by your dad’s dadliness. (Daditude?)
He’s using it for cottage cheese and blueberries. Or else Balkan yogurt and Splenda on strawberries. All his food fads have their day.
My dad just got a new barbecue and spent like fifteen minutes telling me all about its features: smoker included, warming tray, side table, and the coal tray ADJUSTS IN HEIGHT!!!!! Oh, papa.
Toothpicks, straws, and napkins “for the car.” Also so many mints, all the mints.
My late Dad made all kinds of wonderful things in the basement (I still have the hobby horse he made for me and I’ll never give it up) but his attempt at brewing root beer was a disaster; it was the only thing that got the better of him. Man, I miss him more than anything.
TINKERING
My dad, I’m pretty sure, has at least 1000 sq feet in total (between the basement and the shed at the cabin) devoted entirely to his “shops”.
My parents don’t have a basement, and after his abortive brewing attempt in the house where we had a pantry, my dad doesn’t make things.
What he does do is music. He recently bought some speakers and made me bring round music so he could test the bass. And he invites complete strangers off the streets and shows them his bedroom recording studio. He records them, too.
He is yet to be murdered and robbed, and none of us know how come.
Uuuummm. May we ask what your father records these strangers doing in his bedroom.
I’m thinking there’s a fetish website involved.
Music.
He invites buskers round and gets them to sing for him.
They only have a little flat – one bedroom, living room, bathroom, kitchen – so he doesn’t have a spare room for his recording equipment like he did at the old house.
Well that escalated quickly.
I knew it. Busker porn.
Why even have a restaurant if you don’t have a toothpick dispenser at the front counter? If there’s no toothpick dispenser, can you even call yourself a restaurant?
My dad apparently broke his old lawnmower today, attempted to fix it, broke it further, contemplated ordering replacement parts, and ended up buying a new lawnmower. Then my mom texted me about it. Exciting day in DAD land.
My dad’s snowblower once broke, and the neighbors happened to throw away the same model of snowblower, and he took their snowblower out of the trash and managed to fix his own broken snowblower. Which he still owns and uses. My dad has 3 advanced degrees but making one working snowblower out of two broken snowblowers is probably his proudest achievement, and is not likely to be surpassed.
Oh and he likes to go blow the snow off the driveway at 4 in the morning, which really annoys the same neighbors that threw away that snowblower. They must have so many regrets.
DAAAAAD DON’T JUMP! My dad once jumped off of a sand dune to amuse us and landed on a bit of sandstone hidden in the dune and broke his tailbone and had to sit on one of those rubber donuts for the rest of vacation.
See also the time he got water in his ear throwing us in the hotel pool & then went up the elevator at the Sears Tower and got some sort of dreadful eardrum-thing. Or when we made him go on the Drachen Fire at Busch Gardens and it crinked his neck and he couldn’t hold his head straight ahead for days OMG DAD I’M SORRY D:
Sounds like an article is needed in the next issue: “Putting Your Body At Risk For Their Amusement: How Far Is TOO FAR?”
At a BBQ, a bunch of other dads tried to throw my dad in the pool, but they underestimated both their own drunkenness and my dad’s weight. They ended up half dragging him across the pool deck and then into the pool, where a ribbon of blood was immediately spotted floating up from where he was. They had dragged his toe across the ground, scraping it deeply. It was then plugged up with coffee grounds (Colombians!).
When Groups of Dads Lose Control.
Oh man, DRACHEN FIRE!! That was the most brutal and amazing coaster ever. I rode it like six times in a row once, and then they made me stop riding it because that is a terrible idea.
When my dad came to visit from Mexico most recently, he told me that he’d really acquired a taste for spicy food lately while spooning Huy Fong chili garlic sauce onto my homemade fettuccine carbonara.
Also, I took him to a get-together with some Toastie and non-Toastie friends and I think he fistbumped everyone present at one time or another.
Well that escalated quickly.
I am happy for all you Toasties with good dads. Truly I am. My dad, however, should never have had children and my dad-related thoughts turn dark, so apologies in advance.
How many dads have the time for tinkering because they have few or no domestic chores? Are they experimenting in the basement or hobbying in the yard because a woman keeps them in clean clothing, clean home, clean food, clean children? Constantly cleaning, repairing, supervising, planning. Women’s work is often behind a dad’s spare time accomplishments. In my family, anyway.
I saw that and thought, "Is he doing a cannonball? Into the sand?"
Introducing the Dad Magazine series to my dad: “So I can’t actually click on any of them? It’s just the covers?”