You Are Invited To The Toast’s One-Year Anniversary Party

by Mallory Ortberg · July 10, 2014

NicoleMalloryThe Toast has turned a year old; to celebrate we are throwing ourselves a party and we are inviting you. Yes, you. Yes, even the men, provided they are quiet and well-behaved.

SOME PERTINENT DETAILS 

  • The party will be Wednesday, July 23rd. That is two weeks from now. Make the necessary arrangements.
  • The party will be in Oakland, California.
  • More specifically, the party will be at the Golden Bull Bar (near the 12th Street BART station) from 6 to 8ish
  • I have to be there at six, so I will be on time, but I am going home at eight
  • I will be there for sure
  • Nick will be there
  • Nicole might be there but she can’t make any promises
  • There won’t be food so eat first or bring food with you or arrange to have food delivered to the bar as a wonderful surprise at 7:15
  • In the event that Nicole cannot attend, I will do as many pushups as I can without compromising form
  • Probably that will be one
  • You will not be the only Toastron who is a bit bookish and reserved and not sure how to recommend Toastself among strangers; if you are uncertain about whether you should come I can guarantee WARMTH and RESTRAINED GAIETY THAT DOES NOT OVERWHELM THE WARY SPIRIT, you elfin thing
  • Jasmine has promised to bring a pie; if you feel led to bring something of your own to share with the class you will not be turned away
  • Jasmine also planned this because I was actually paralyzed with fear and indecision at the prospect of calling several bars and asking if we could host a gathering there, so shower her with fulsome praise
  • Try not to fall in love with me
  • If you want to buy me a drink my favorite is “club soda with as many lime slices as you can legally give me”
  • I will try not to fall in love with you
  • I think that’s it

I am very excited to see all of you! Nicole and I both had a remarkably good time at the first meetup in San Francisco, and I will be in an even better mood this time because this meetup is going to be in Oakland and I won’t have to drive across a bridge at the end of the night. This has been the best year of my life, and I hope you will come and celebrate that with me.

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224 Comments

  1. aravisthequeen +89

    “try”

    But Mallory what if we are ALREADY in love with you and/or Nicole? Are we barred from coming to the party then?

      1. perianwen +13

        Also, too, it’s probably for the best that I don’t have airfare, because I suspect you don’t want a weird, older Canadian lady proposing marriage to you at this point in your life.

        (kidding)
        (…mostly)

    2. ThatOtherWench +64

      We just must remember to love from afar, and chastely. You may ask each one for a dance, but not so many nor so early that your preference becomes known to all in attendance.

  2. anninyn +30

    Try not to fall in love with me

    too late

    I am debating: How quick can I get a passport? How expensive is a plane ticket from the UK to California? Is it OTT to make this trip?

    The answer to all of these things is ‘impossible, alas, impossible’. Please, those who go, please join EmbryoConcepts toastie twitter list and post pictures, so I can live vicariously

    1. Voland +17

      In my opinion, Canadians have an inalienable right to boogie off to California at every opportunity, with or without an actual reason. We survive 6-month long winters and a terminally placid culture that is 90% hockey. WE DESERVE CALIFORNIA.

    2. PonyAlong +4

      “Try not to fall in love with me”
      “Too late”

      Le sigh. Too late for me, too. Wanna share?

      1. anninyn +6

        Yeah, sure. We shall moon around, our eyes full of stars, our hearts full of hope, ready and willing to serve Mallory Ortberg her every desire.

  3. NicoleCliffe +73

    Mallory’s hair, like the Grand Canyon, is even more impressive in person than you may have imagined; do not miss it.

    1. brookshelley +8

      Mallory, in person, was everything I’d hoped for. She is a hoot. I wish I could fly out for this, but maybe we should just have an Austin annex party.

        1. brookshelley +1

          Alright – @ message me on twitter @brookshelley and we’ll figure something out. I’ve got 3 or 4 other people who are up for it.

    2. malloryelis +21

      oh shit you guys i cut off a bunch of it a few weeks ago so adjust your expectations accordingly

      1. elsamac +34

        Don’t tell us that; someone will want to make braided brooches of the discarded portion.

          1. elsamac +13

            IT’S NOT LIKE I NAMED YOU SHUSH AND NO ONE WILL KNOW YOUR PLAN

            True fact: I have a little collection of mourning brooches — and I mean a little collection, like, maybe three — with woven hair under glass. They’re all in various states of disrepair and I will never, ever wear them again. When I was a teeny gothy type, I wasn’t sensitive to the appropriation of other people’s grief for my own ornamentation, but now I am. What am I going to do with them?

          3. aravisthequeen +3

            See if there is a collector or antique jewelry store in your area. Someone will buy that shit, I swear.

        2. littlehuntingcreek +12

          A lucky few will have the opportunity to bid for a brooch made out of Mallory’s hair! Proceeds to The-Toast

  4. bgprincipessa +7

    I’m so excited for y’all that you get to meet Nick. Wish I could come.
    How much is a plane ticket to SFO anyway?

    1. neptunemars +19

      Around $500. I looked it up obvs.

      Can there be an east coast Toast anniversary celebration?

      1. contrarianbear +5

        Can there please be one? I’ve tragically been out of the country for all DC meetups and my Ronbledore shirt needs to make its glorious debut.

      1. neptunemars +4

        Would you be willing to video chat in lieu of leaving California?? Technology.

  5. themnemosyne +28

    [considers buying plane tickets to Oakland]

    [considering intensifies]

    [bank account emits high-pitched screaming]

    [screaming intensifies]

    okay but WHAT IF I was going to be in Oakland in…like six months or so? Can we do another? I need to thank everyone in person for enriching my life significantly

    1. msjinxie +6

      Just fyi the Bay Area Toastie Contingent will use any excuse for a meet-up. We love visitors! Hit us up on Twitter whenever you’re coming out and we’ll plan a thing!

      1. themnemosyne +2

        I make it a point to visit the Bay Area at least once a year because I have friends in both SFO and Oakland, but this year has gone a bit sideways by three friends deciding to get married in the same six-week period, so my usual fall trip is looking more like a winter trip probably, but tl;dr I’d love to meet all y’all, for serious.

    1. chickpeas +6

      yes, I also need to know this before blowing all my airline miles flying across the country.

    2. elsamac +31

      There will always be tiny horses in our hearts, stamping their little hooves in love.

  8. fatscientist +109

    The party is on Daniel Radcliffe’s birthday- this is clearly Ronbledore related. I know you tried to throw us off the scent by not making it Rupert Grint’s birthday but you had to know we’d see the truth.

      1. fatscientist +7

        I remember Daniel Radcliffe’s birthday because it’s also my dad’s- maybe one or both of you are a time traveling Daniel Radcliffe?

  9. hearyoume +2

    I am so sad that my trip to San Francisco ends on the 21st. Only a few more days and I could have gone. 🙁

    1. jlper +1

      My trip ended on the 8th though so it is slightly less painful for me, but I feel this. I love restrained gaiety!

  10. smeesmeesmee +12

    Aw, man, so far away from London. Mallory! We have the same favourite drink! We could have split a jug of it (or a ‘pitcher’ I believe). Although, being a reticient British person I always order “a pint of lime and soda” in the pub and wait for the times when the barperson says, “cordial or fresh lime?” (this happens about 30% of the time) and I can say gleefully back, “fresh!!!”. Most of the time it is cordial. Which is also nice.

      1. smeesmeesmee +6

        I don’t know! I have looked on the facebook, as there is a London hairpinners one (although haven’t met up for ages) but didn’t see anything. Shall we start one. I had some comment chat a few months ago as found a couple of other toasties from SE London but I don’t know how comments are possible to organise anything?!?

        1. Scared_Vagina +3

          WELL I am moving to London tomorrow and that sounds like fun! Depends on whether people are on FB or not (I too had looked and am on the Hairpin one).

          Or we create a Google group or something? I’m terrible at this.

          1. smeesmeesmee +5

            I have no idea. meetup.com? I don’t know. How do you leave the house and see people. I agree fb is not the best way to do things. I’m @dearoldsmee on the twitters if you want to discuss this in an actual way!

      2. Es_Petal +2

        I am an occasional Londoner (I live 2 hours away but am there for work sometimes) and would be up for Toast things!

      1. Genevievenumba4 +4

        Me too! I don’t know how these things are organized. Do people still use email? I…I have email.

        1. jennifermelchert +3

          I’m scared email would turn into a Hey Ladies situation (but mine is my user name @gmail). There’s meetup.com, where I did not immediately find a Toast group.

        2. N Coley +6

          There are monthly NYC meetups, if that’s what you’re looking for. Not a full party but they are load of fun. The next on is July 25th at 8pm (book club at 7pm for We Have Always Lived in the Castle) in RPM bar. They’re always the last Friday of the month at RPM bar from 8pm onward (some people get there at 6pm and hang around because of when they get of work).

      2. rkfire +7

        Ditto for a DC area party. I mean, really heroic efforts too, because I’m in Bmore and everyone in the area knows that even though we are only 40 miles away from each other, its like we’re worlds apart.

        ETA: Trying to get things going for a DC area party now, check out the FB DC or Bmore Hairpin groups for more details!

    2. rien à dire +5

      I can help with an Atlanta meetup! I “organized” a Hairpin meetup to good success! (Read: I picked out a bar and told people to come and then they did.)

        1. rien à dire +3

          I put our new FB group address in the ATL comment thread below! We can see if that works?

  12. literaltrousersnake +7

    I shall remain content with the Toronto toast-ups, because I am going Away in the summer to celebrate having money for once in a decade (the best way to celebrate getting really not that much money is to get rid of it as fast as possible riding Icelandic ponies and snorkeling in 2C water), but I WISH YOU WELL.

    This is a brag and could justifiably have been moderated out. Thanks to the Toast for a year of teaching me how to read my own comments, even if I do hit “Submit Comment” anyway after.

  13. hgwrite +12

    Mallory, Malloryyyyy, what if we’re under 21? Will the bar let us in if we promise not to drink any alcohol, Yelp was unhelpful in determining this, heeeeeelp

    1. malloryelis +49

      oh dip I do not know! I truly never considered the fact that people under 21 read the Toast

      1. hgwrite +8

        I mean I am not a Dirtbag Teen (any more), I am just not legally allowed to drink in the United States. 🙁 I will scan the area and determine the rules and sadly stalk y’all if not.

        1. WanderingDancer +4

          When I was was under 21 and wanted to hang out with my friends in bars, I would very pointedly buy a non-alcoholic drink that I could point to as proof of my not consuming alcohol, and the bartenders would let me stay. This was not in CA, though, so YMMV.

          1. alicia +6

            When I was under 21 and wanted to hang out with my friends in bars I managed to get arrested despite not having anything to drink. CA is pretty tough in this way.

          2. WanderingDancer +5

            Ugh, that’s terrible. Sorry for my inaccurate-to-the-state advice that could lead to getting arrested.

    2. deleted2997279 +10

      I feel like most non-club places don’t card at the door? As long as they only card you for actually ordering a drink I think you should be okay!

    3. ecasley +2

      So I emailed the bar and they say people under 21 aren’t allowed inside the bar 🙁 (something about liquor licenses and them not having a kitchen) Though there’s still the possibility that they don’t card at the door, I guess.

  15. Margaret +37

    Count me in as one who is a bit bookish and reserved and not sure how to recommend myself. I’m too much of a weenie to even have created my own account because I can’t think of a clever name. But I live so close to Oakland! I have to attend, right? And I won’t regret it? I’m afraid.

    1. figwiggin +9

      Toasties are almost to a one charming and funny and don’t make you feel bad or awkward about being a little self-conscious! It’s incredible. I highly recommend attending.

    2. logicbutton +8

      If figwiggin’s going to be there (as she says she is below), you have nothing to worry about.

    3. Jillsy_Sloper +5

      I’m so bookish and reserved I skipped the first one. But it looked so fun in the after-pictures that I’m determined to go to this one.

    4. LeastBittern +10

      I was very very scared about going to the first one; one of my friends had to guilt/calm me into it. (Like a horse. I am basically a horse who can text in her mind, I am pretty sure.)

      But then I got there and Mallory gave me a hug and spun me off into a group that contained figwiggen – who is super nice, and good at making people feel like they belong. It is a good social event for the awkward.

      (I will also try to make you feel like you belong! Paying is forward, etc.)

  16. perianwen +4

    Erm, if any Vancouver folks want to grab a quick drink together on the same night, I might be able to manage that?

    1. PonyAlong +1

      YES! Oh God, please yes, I need a hometown break (well, okay, technically I’m from Coquitlam, but what’s a few KM between Toasties). BC TOASTIES UNITE!

      Seriously, yes.

      1. perianwen +1

        I’m even farther out than that for home but I work downtown…we could do Burnaby, even, if that would be centralish for people?

  17. Chelsea +7

    WE NEED TO HAVE A DIRTY SOUTH MEETUP IN ATLANTA TOO! (All caps were necessary so that you knew I was screaming this out loud while dancing around my desk imagining all the possibilities)

    2. rien à dire +2

      Ah, I just talked about this upthread! I am in for any and all ATL meetups!

        1. rien à dire +1

          Hey hey, I tried to email the group and got a bounce-back 🙁

          Do you want to have a Toast-up this Sunday (8/10)? Was thinking 6pm at the Bookhouse on Ponce, but if some other place/time works better, let me know. My main criterion was someplace we could drink on a balcony.

        1. rien à dire +1

          I’m good with a google instead/too, but I don’t know too much about setting them up! If some heroic Toastie wants to do that, I’m lengli [at] gmail.

          1. captainstrudels +1

            Ok, I did it! I set up a google group forum for Atlanta area Toasties– email address: [email protected].

            @rien à dire I sent you an invite already! Anybody else, just email the group and I’ll get you added. Hooray for local meet ups!

    2. mbculver +1

      Yes, please! Maybe we can Skype the Oaklanders…although we’re 3 hours ahead, hmmm.

    4. DishKit

      I’ve been lurking for 9 months but the opportunity to meet other Toastrons is so tempting that I had to make an IntenseDebate account. Boston! Yes please!

  19. AmazingSandwich +7

    I know by “East Coast” no one means Pittsburgh, but if there happen to be Toasties in west/central PA let this be a general call that we should organize some meetups.

    2. madgehowlet +4

      I am in Pittsburgh! I am shackled to an infant who will nap nowhere but on me, but perhaps she’ll have a better sense of personal space by the 23rd!

    3. Saralater

      wow I 100% support this although I don’t think I can make it this time. It’s good to know I’m not the only person in the greatest half of the second greatest state reading this!

  21. indrabbit +1

    If you ever do one in Mexico, I think I could bring along a friend or two 😛

  22. stuffisthings +22

    You picked the American coast that is LITERALLY the furthest away from me, thanks a lot jerks.

    1. elsamac +31

      RIGHT

      OF ALL THE COASTS THEY COULD HAVE PICKED

      SO MANY

      theres a coast right here near me that is inconvenient for literally everyone else why not pick that one right

    2. bookwormV +6

      And from me. There’s already the Atlantic Ocean in the way! Why does all of the US have to be in the way as well?

  23. elsamac +8

    I would give a great deal to be there, Mallory.

    Not, y’know, money or travel time, because I can’t afford either. But a lot of emotional energy, which is actually better spent evenly divided between here, where it sits in a glowing ball of gratitude and joy around my heart, and sent toward the phantom image of all of you West Coast Toasties converging on one spot to celebrate.

    (I like how cannily you put Jasmine’s twitter handle right there next to the news that she not only called around to make this happen but is also bringing pie. Insta-follow!)

  24. CleverManka +4

    That’s the day I leave for San Diego Comic-Con. At least I’ll be in the right state. sigh

    1. sofie_fatale +1

      Me too! I mean, I’m already in California, but I will sadly be heading in the wrong direction for toastings. (But the right direction for geekings.)

        1. sofie_fatale +1

          I definitely took an EXTENDED “coffee break” to go over the Thursday schedule today!!

  25. zizzivivizz +3

    I have a stupidly stupid job that expects me to be at it fresh and shiny in Los Angeles on Thursday morning, or else I would completely attend. Los Angeles Toasties, what say you? Satellite event?

    1. rinkadink

      Satellite Event would be fantastic! I’m very into finding a bar (eastside/westside/valleyside/etc, I’m flexible) if anyone’s interested.

  26. msjinxie +22

    Thanks y’all for having this mid-week so it doesn’t conflict with my opening night viewing of the new Hercules movie with our best friend The Rock.

  27. mabissam +2

    Um, anyone up for a satellite party on the following Saturday in Santa Cruz, CA?

    1. figwiggin +2

      Oh man, I wish. I haven’t been down to Santa Cruz in forever. I need to spend some weekends cleaning and packing for our small move, though.

    2. dakimel +2

      That’s where I went to college!

      (I mean, I’m 2500 miles away NOW, but I just thought I’d share. Because sharing is caring, ya know.)

  28. deleted7410012 +17

    i will be there, slowly shrinking back into my sweater like a wooly illusion of a melting witch, BUT I WILL BE THERE.

    1. dakimel +1

      And a little warm, if you’re in a wool sweater. But melting just because of the witchiness, not because of the wool/heat, I’m sure. (Meanwhile, I won’t be there. I’ll be in San Antonio. But I’ll be drinking with a lot of friends & strangers, too, so that’s something!)

  29. kellyography +4

    How did I not know that all you Toasters were based in Oakland/the Bay Area? Well, when I finally find a job out there and move permanently, let’s hang out. (On a separate Oakland note, did anyone else go to the Burger Boogaloo in Mosswood Park this weekend? It was amazing and I saw Ronnie Spector do a bunch of kicks and shimmies.)

    1. deleted7410012 +2

      i went! it was awesome!

      my friend and i didn’t know the schedule beforehand and we came for primarily shannon and the clams and ronnie, but we showed up at noon, so we spent like, 6 hours lounging around in the grass, listening to the music drifting over from the amphitheater, and eating $5 popsicles.

      IT WAS GREAT.

    2. vmartinipie +6

      I WAS THERE it was so much fun!! I wish I had known other toasties were there!

    3. figwiggin +1

      Yeah, there are a bunch of Bay Area Toasties! Some of us have been getting together a fair amount lately, so you should totally snag on when you’re out here! (I am only an Honorary Bay Area Toastie, I think, since I live over the hill and in the valley, but I’m willing to go to great lengths to hang out with cool folks.)

  31. silverandsnow +5

    This bookish and reserved Toastron would love to join this party but my bank account and work schedule both say no. So I will happily raise a glass to you from the solitude of my living room on the east coast 🙂

    1. mbculver +13

      …or a fancy figwiggin hat?

      (see what I did there? huh? huh? see it?)

      <3 u figgie

  33. teresamackadoo +6

    YAY I can walk from work in under 5 minutes. This bookish and reserved elfin creature is pleased and super excited to meet y’all.

  35. N Coley +4

    Ahhh I wish I could buy plane tickets for this but alas I have $0. Maybe if I start walking now, I’ll make it there from NYC in time?

    1. teerexington

      I can come to a Seattle satellite party and I will bring ice cream, Weds is the day I work at my bougie ice cream job.

      1. laurenipsum +1

        I live way south — outside of Puyallup, SE of Tacoma — but I commute to UW 3 days a week, M-T-Th. I would make a special trip for Wednesday but would obv prefer south or central Seattle. OR if we don’t care about being simultaneous, I could do one of my commute days, after work, anywhere.

        1. brinsonian +1

          Seattleites, this weekend I visited the new Cozy Nut Tavern in Greenwood (https://www.facebook.com/Thecozynut) and it is essentially a hobbit bar. !!! So that could be promising.

          And even though time is an illusion, I love the idea of a simultaneous celebration. laurenipsum, I hope that is not the absolute worst for you.

          Toasties, hit me up on Twitter at @brinsonian! Let’s make this happen!

      1. brinsonian +1

        Posting to each Seattleite in the comments individually so you get the deets: satellite Toastaversary party tomorrow (Weds 23) evening at 6 p.m. at El Chupacabra at 67th and Greenwood. I’ll make a wee Toast sign or something. I’m @brinsonian on Twitter if you want to get in touch. Woo!

    3. brinsonian +1

      Yes! Yes yes yes. North end or central/south end?

      I vote, selfishly, for north, but I can be swayed. Especially with teerexington’s bougie ice cream.

      1. teerexington

        I also live in the north end this would be convenient for me. but also I can flex.

        1. brinsonian +1

          Posting to each Seattleite in the comments individually so you get the deets: satellite Toastaversary party tomorrow (Weds 23) evening at 6 p.m. at El Chupacabra at 67th and Greenwood. I’ll make a wee Toast sign or something. I’m @brinsonian on Twitter if you want to get in touch. Woo!

    1. LeastBittern +11

      Nah bro, they have a horseshoe over the door. Super prejudiced, I know, but some pooka sublimated all their beer like five years ago and now all the fey are punished. It’s bullshit.

  39. alicia +6

    Maybe I will bring something made with the sour cherries I socked away in the freezer last year, just to taunt Mallory with a taste of my sour cherry hoard.

  40. aqueousmedium +6

    damn, we need a Prairie satellite Toastup. We could all drive for hours and meet in, like, Lloydminster.

      1. aqueousmedium +2

        Even better, Lloydminster literally spans the AB-SK border. It is bi-provincial!

    3. slowseptember +1

      I’d even venture into Saskatchewan Proper for a Toastie meetup.

      Signed, a Calgarian Toastie.

  42. Sulagna Misra +9

    I don’t think I have time or money to go to the west coast again this year 🙁 But oh man, I so want to go, partly because I am a little awkward in real life but I looooove going to these types of meetups full of My People and doing the whole “every stranger is a future friend!” thing. Playing icebreakers and asking questions and giving out compliments to you Toasties like a wayward starfish earring. I am like a FRIEND FLIRT TORNADO. This is even more fun when y’all are reticent, because then my talking too much is a strength rather than a weakness.

    Also I really want to make Nicole and Mallory fanart cards and give em out personally, but ah well. Next time!

  43. Samk12345 +33

    What sort of offerings are men required to bring? Are we talking casual (flowers, food), business casual (male tears, male heart, etc), or formal (first born son)?

  44. lesliejroot +3

    Oh man I’m going to be out of town in Portland that week. I can’t believe this. Anyone in Portland want to have a party?

  45. Anti_kate +3

    Calgary, anyone? Surely the stampede will be over by then? (Why dear god does the stampede feel like it’s been going forever?)

    1. slowseptember +1

      AS I WAS POSTING BELOW YOU I realised that now I know FOUR Calgarian Toasties! What ho, friend!?

  46. slowseptember +1

    Calgarian Toasties (of which there are at least three, I’ve checked) shall wave wistfully in your direction.

    1. Anti_kate +1

      The Calgary misandrist sleeper cell should definitely have a meetup at some point then, even if it would be rather compact.

    2. hugpunch +1

      I’ll wave at you from my Northwest Montana locale, and also wave south at the Toast meet up.

  47. Space_Kitty +5

    I created an account just to say me and my favorite Toastie are actually at work reorganizing my anniversary weekend to include this trip.

    I can’t even.

  48. donkeywork +2

    Anyone from north of Oakland but south of Mendocino want to throw me in their trunk? If not I’ll raise a glass of lemon-sliced V-8 in your direction on the night in question. I’m @HeatherSeggel on the Twitter and /HeatherSeggel on the Facebook, as well as most other places. Congrats on a year, and here’s to more!

    1. pantalonesfuego +2

      Hi Heather, if you’re available to head south earlier in the day I’d be happy to bring you with me. 🙂

  49. askmullan +9

    The only limitations on the number of lime slices that one may consumer in a class of club soda are the ones imposed by her majesty the free market and his lordship the-physical-volume-of-a-highball. May their reign over citrus rationing in these scarce times be just. Any attempt to usurp her authority by feeble-minded city councils or state legislators will surely be thwarted.

  50. thebestjasmine +20

    I SAID CAKE, Mallory!! And maybe! Do you see how Mallory does things? Now I have to bring cake and pie.

  51. rkfire +3

    Baltimore and DC Toasties: if you are interested in doing a Toast anniversary meetup, RUN, do not walk to your Facebook Hairpin group of choice and look there for updates! I’m trying to push things along for a co-mingled Joint Beltway Toast Extravaganza or something similar.

      1. rkfire +2

        No worries! Go to the top of your facebook page, in the search bar, and type in “DC Hairpinners” or “Baltimore Hairpinners,” as appropriate.

        1. great_dane +3

          I figured it out! For some reason it didn’t turn up in a facebook search, but I found a link through google. Internet, you are a mystery.

          1. toastercat +2

            And if anyone else either doesn’t have Facebook or can’t find our mysterious group, it’ll be from 5-8 on July 23rd at Policy at 14th and T!

  52. Just_a_Dinosaur +6

    I am indeed an elfin thing, and I will no doubt be spending the next few weeks debating whether I can road trip my lonely self (my spouse has to stay home to work) into the next state before walking into a room full of people whom are way super intelligent, and none of this is at all intimidating.

    Which is to say that I love you all, and if I win an internal battle with myself I shall see you there!

  53. abettrdaughtr +4

    I just moved to Oakland from Boston and I have no friends here, so I am very much looking forward to this, but also a nervous sort of person, so I’m also… well, nervous. Can’t wait to meet some very awesome people!

    1. jenintheclouds +3

      I will join you in this specific feeling of “looking forward to this but also a nervous person.” I feel like we will be LEGION at this event, and it will be wonderful.

  54. Gsand +8

    Am I the only one from Paris, France around here?

    Okay. I won’t come. Not alone.

    (Instead, I will have a cup of champagne in the sunny Provence where I spend my holydays and where no one in Oakland will find me. I will drink thinking of your far far party… AMUSEZ- VOUS : my – best – thoughts will be with a french accent of course.)

    1. DishKit +4

      Je vais déménager à la France cet automne pour un travail temporaire–je ne serai ni à Paris ni en Provence mais j’apporterai du “pain grillé” au pays quand même 🙂

    2. copinesdabord +3

      you’re not!!

      (Don’t go to Provence, sun is for the weak, stay in gray blah embarrassing-excuse-for-a-July Paris and we can drink thinking of Oakland together.)

      1. Gsand +2

        I’m so very weak I’m gone already, Paris is more of an autumn dream – I learned that in the Hollywood classics movies (and most of my bad english too…). Let’s have a sip of champagne in September then, one for the gray and the rest for LE Toast!

  57. J_M +18

    OMG this comment thread is kind of turning into an installment of “Hey Ladies!” and I looooove it.

  58. Jessica +2

    I am strongly considering a last minute roadtrip from Salt Lake to attend this. Is that excessive? Don’t care.

  59. futureanthropologist +6

    If I bring a cobbler, will that suffice as IRL friendship starter with all the other Toastrons there????? I HOPE SO.

  60. laylapalooza +3

    Ugh, I am so jealous I can’t even.

    (is anyone else in NC ok no i thought not.)

  61. spiffygrits +1

    ARGH I am so excited and typically parties fill me with a sense of deep and impending dread because I am predictable but this is different. I will be bringing my husband, who is typically more outgoing and louder than me, but he has promised to restrain himself. I will be drinking drinks with olives or cucumbers in them, as drinks with snacks in them are the best kinds of drinks.

  62. Bryn (Plus Others) +5

    …

    I am so excited about this I am light headed! We are in the Bay Area & have been trying to work up my nerve to suggest some kind of meetup here because I would love to meet some fellow toasties. I had no idea that Mallory was here! I am so excited, we are definitely going! (Probably other people would like to meet you guys also, but am I going to let them TALK at the party? Only time will tell!)

    I have never been to a party as actually just myself before. Wow.

    ETA: My partner just said he will come home from work an hour early so he can put the kids to bed so I can get out of the house before 6.30. Woo!

  65. Power_Lloyd +3

    I will be there. I might even take off of work early in order to bring a home-made dessert.

  66. Some Lady +5

    Would it be weird if someone who regularly reads, but never comments on, The Toast, but reads the comments, and so feels like she is part of this community even though the community is unaware of her existence, came to this party? Just asking. Just asking.

  68. rebeccabrinson

    Seattleites, this weekend I visited the new Cozy Nut Tavern in Greenwood (https://www.facebook.com/Thecozynut) and it is essentially a hobbit bar. !!! So that could be promising.

    And even though time is an illusion, I love the idea of a simultaneous celebration. laurenipsum, I hope that is not the absolute worst for you.

    Toasties, hit me up on Twitter at @brinsonian! Let's make this happen!

  69. rebeccabrinson

    Posting to each Seattleite in the comments individually so you get the deets: satellite Toastaversary party tomorrow (Weds 23) evening at 6 p.m. at El Chupacabra at 67th and Greenwood. I'll make a wee Toast sign or something. I'm @brinsonian on Twitter if you want to get in touch. Woo!

  70. magaliiiii +1

    I will be SUPER FASHIONABLY LATE (the south bay is far away) but I am so excited for this!

  72. HeyPela

    Also if anyone needs a ride to the South Bay from Oakland, I’ll be driving, but probably not there till like 7:30 because San Mateo.

  73. desirein +1

    I’m ADDITIONALLY bummed because the evening Mallory’s reading with Roxane Gay at the Last Bookstore in LA, I will be in NOR CAL!!!!
    Life is not fair.

  74. Desiree Zamorano

    I'm ADDITIONALLY bummed because the evening Mallory's reading with Roxane Gay at the Last Bookstore in LA, I will be in NOR CAL!!!!
    Life is not fair.