Apollo’s mortal lover Hyacinth was struck in the forehead by a discus pushed off-course by the jealous god Zephyr. Here you can see him slowly dying of being “tenderly cradled,” with no visible head wounds from the golden Frisbee lying at his feet.
Here we see Hyacinth dying yet again, this time from having his hand held.
You have to look carefully to see it, but Adonis’ mortal wound is the surface-level scratch just over his beautiful mist-blue tunic. Oh babe, I’m dying…I’m dying real bad. Don’t bother calling the doctor. There’s no coming back from this one.
The Death of Adonis again, this time from sleepiness:
“My darling! What is it?”
“Oh, I’m dying. It’s awful, the amount I’m dying of.”
“What’s wrong? What’s happened?”
“MY HEAD HURTS A LITTLE BIT. ALSO I CANNOT FIND MY SHOES.”
Here lies Eurydice, died from slouching.
The sword is bloodied, and yet there’s not a single mark on Dido’s body. She just pulled her dress down a little bit.
uuugh theres like
a fire in the distance
just leave me here to die
there’s plenty of time to escape, my lady
no im already too far gone
i can barely point
The first of several paintings of Ophelia that demonstrate a near-total lack of understanding of what the physical process of drowning entails. “Drowning is just…it’s when the back of your legs get wet as you lounge against a tree branch, yes? Medically speaking, that’s mostly what drowning is about? Fantastic.”
It looks like a smudge on your screen, but that’s actually a very shallow fatal wound.
So close to actually drowning! Her face is very nearly submerged!
Half credit. Pyramus has slightly nicked his own neck and is being a real baby about it, but Thisbe stands a real chance of actually running herself through on that sword.
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.