Posts tagged “greek mythology”

  1. There was a curse upon the family of Laius, King of Thebes, and the story of his son Oedipus is the story of the fulfilling of that curse. Laius, driven from his kingdom, took refuge with Pelops, son of Tantalus, and then most ungratefully kidnapped the boy Chrysippus, son of his protector. In course of time Laius recovered his kingdom, and married a princess called Jocasta.

  2. Orpheus is one of those great Greek figures who stuck around long enough to get every single myth eventually attributed to him. He invented music, sort of, but he also become a figure of mourning after failing to rescue his wife Eurydice from the Underworld (on account of looking back at her before she was 100% rescued), but he's also credited with introducing pederasty to Thrace (!!!)

  3. HYPSIPYLE: welcome to Lemnos
    you will find there are no men here
    as we have murdered all our husbands

    JASON: niiiice

    HYPSIPYLE: you see, we neglected our worship of Aphrodite and as punish – what?

    JASON: aw yeah I like a challenge

    HYPSIPYLE: you misunderstand
    this place is cursed

  4. doesn't Terpsichore mean "delight in dancing" 
    you don't seem very delighted

    it means a lot of things

  5. "I never got any handouts. No one pushed me out of the sea and covered me with jewels. I made myself."

  6. Previously: The many abductions of Ganymede.

    Right-ho, so the abduction of Andromeda was a majorly popular artistic motif during the early modern era for reasons of "babes in chains are fun to draw," but there's a really wonderful sliding scale of what Perseus' rescue looked like.

  7. ZEUS: look, I have produced a daughter from mine own head
    this is Athena
    HERA: like fuck you did
    ZEUS: What? No, she truly just app –
    HERA: two can play this head-baby game, pal
    ZEUS: I didn't do this to offend you, it just –
    HERA: too late, I'm crowning

  8. ZEUS: sweet hells does my head ache
    ATHENA [bursts out of his skull in full armor]: surprise, fucko

  9. hey babe im gonna be out late tonight dont wait up you'll have to take care of the kids but it should be pretty easy theyre dead so you dont really have to do anything lol MEDEA: Jason babe i love you SO much JASON: ahh i love you too MEDEA: and i'll do everything i can to make sure you complete the tasks my father set before you JASON: ahh…

  10. Diana!!! Goddess of chastity and the hunt! You're never going to find a boyfriend if you keep taking long, luxurious baths with all your female friends like this! Get it together! Diana, how are you going to get a boyfriend if you keep turning all the men who see you into stags and then murder them with arrows?? That is NOT an approved method for keeping your man, Diana!! Diana,…

  11. One of the greatest recurring themes in Greek mythology is that of incompetent sonship. Whether you're the god of the sun itself or the greatest architect and craftsman the ancient world has ever seen, your male child - if he doesn't accidentally kill you during a discus-throwing contest in your own front yard - is almost certainly going to die horribly in front of you doing something he has never practiced before while screaming "Hey,…

  12. Originally. PEOPLE OF ATHENS: at last our city is complete CECROPS: my people now we must decide which of the gods we will offer our worship to who among the deities of Olympus will we select to watch over us shall it be Poseidon? Lord of the sea, creator of the horse, to protect our warships and supply us with battle stallions? or shall it be Athena, goddess of wisdom and justice?…

  13. Apollo's mortal lover Hyacinth was struck in the forehead by a discus pushed off-course by the jealous god Zephyr. Here you can see him slowly dying of being "tenderly cradled," with no visible head wounds from the golden Frisbee lying at his feet.

  14. Previously: Dirtbag Aphrodite. AEGEUS: ah my son tales of your bravery have reached me long before you arrived you have slain Procrustes -- Sinis -- Sciron -- the Pallantides -- and cleared this land of robbers and evildoers tell me, how did you -- THESEUS: its pretty simple i just kill everyone i meet til i get where i'm going AEGEUS: ah THESEUS: its simpler that way i dont have to keep track  …

  15. Previously: Dirtbag Zeus. APOLLO: so do you come here to this river a lot DAPHNE: i'm so sorry have we met? APOLLO: we havent met but you know me DAPHNE: sorry? APOLLO: ever seen THE SUN DAPHNE: what? APOLLO: youre welcome hey let me touch your skin for a while DAPHNE: i have to no [DAPHNE turns into a tree to escape him] APOLLO: so do you turn into trees a lot…