shh nobody move
don’t wake him up
he’s conquistasnoring
aww look
look at how pretty his mouth is when he doesn’t use it for talking
he’s not bothering ANYBODY
look at him
not moving or playing instruments or telling me stories or anything
i could look at him not doing anything for hours
be sure to use the time the men in your life are asleep wisely
i don’t mind him at all when he’s like this
i dont mean this in a bad way but
i sort of hope you never wake up
not that you die or anything
just that
you never wake up
positive reinforcement helps men stay asleep instead of standing up and saying things
try covering the sleeping men in your life with prizes and garlands
shhhhh
it’s okay, little buddy
you’ve had a long day
think of all the women he’s not explaining his art project to right now
i love him
he’s the quietest man at the party
aww
you could almost love one of them, when they’re like this
[Images via Wikimedia Commons]
Tags: artwork, having fun at western art history’s expense, look at the sleepy little buddies
Related Posts
Sleeping cardinal or velvet cushion for relaxed pussycat? One of those versions > the other.
oh my god, this artist did a whole series of Cardinals Doing Stuff: http://te-igitur.blogspot.com/2012/01/22-cardinal…
ALL OF THOSE ARE AMAZING I can’t believe this is the first I’m hearing about this.
Look at this lil dude! He’s having the time of his life!
All three of them are having such a good time! My favorite, though, is Enjoying the Fruits of the Spirit (or, as I have now deemed it, Cardinal Being Fussily Confused by a Melon): http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-CYa6kxjNU2k/Twcm25qoVnI…
Cardinal Confused By A Melon must be the spiritual sequel of Cardinal Surrounded By Rolling Papers.
Oooh, his/her little feet are all splayed out! Just adorable.
Just looking to capitalize on the glorious swishiness of red cardinal-specific fabrics
I have just now learned that I need a floor pillow for my feet to rest upon in front of each of my chairs.
Not bothering anybody AND providing a lap for a cat to sleep on. A+, sleepyman.
He CAN’T go bother anyone, otherwise he’d wake up the cat!
“he’s conquistasnoring”
This was the genesis of this post, right? I really hope so.
I haven’t even made it through the rest of the post yet, I just had to come down here to see if everyone else loved “conquistasnoring” as much as I did.
It is the El Dorado of portmanteaus.
The El Doreau… the portmontado… Port Eldado…
Nah, this ain’t happening. Sorry, folks.
I applaud your efforts, though!
I need to find ways to insert this into conversations.
“I’m gonna go subdue Dreamland with my conquistasnoring”
It’s a little clunky. I feel like we could really hammer this into something special with some of elbow juice.
“My boyfriend’s snoring has gone way past normal. I think it’s time for Conquistasnoring.”
Voiceover: “Does your loved one suffer from chronic snoring? Do they wake up family members, the dog, or the neighbors? Then it’s time for Conquistasnoring! Conquistasnoring is guaranteed to conquer your loved one’s breathing problems, or your money back! If it’s time for you (and your family, dog, and neighbors) to get a restful night’s sleep, then it’s time to try Conquistasnoring.”
Small print: if it’s a CPAP machine, the noise it makes will keep you awake instead.
Random note: badly written articles on sleep hygiene tell you to do something like try separate bedrooms if your partner snores. No. If your partner snores, march them to a doctor and get them tested for sleep apnoea, which is a very common (the most common?) cause of snoring, and which is an illness which can have very serious consequences. Like, you know, death (it hugely raises the risk of a heart attack in your sleep, and the sleep deprivation it causes has such a profound impact on driving that many countries will ban you from driving if you have uncontrolled sleep apnoea past a certain severity, otherwise you’re at high risk of crashing the car), but hey, that’s obviously not as bad as bothering your partner’ sleep!
I read that as ‘conquistadoring’ at first, which only meant I got to scroll back up after reading this comment and bask in the glorious pun for the very first time.
“I CLAIM THIS LAND Fzzzzzzzzzzzzz…”
–Francesco Snoozarro
He’s conquistadorable!
I can *feel* how proud she is of that one, it radiates off the screen like a vibration in the universe.
NO
OH MY GOD
CONQUISTASNORING
*DIES*
Think of all the covers of ‘Wonderwall’ she isn’t having to listen to.
So many heads resting on palms! Truly the extra support is needed when carrying the weight of the world on your sleepy, sleepy shoulders.
Ah, this was the perfect antidote to a most mainsplainey morning.
What in the world is the guy with the Princess Leia helmet wearing on his legs? Skin color tights?
My initial take on this piece was that he lost his tights and that he was not sleeping, but crying over his missing tights, and I had SO MANY QUESTIONS.
“look at how pretty his mouth is when he doesn’t use it for talking”
If only more men would take this to heart
The second-to-last painting appears to feature a centaur who wishes to wake the sleeping man. Centaur, I am disappointed in you.
Seriously, Centaur shhhhh…
This is uncomfortably close to my feelings for my young (male) children.
Related question – how does one raise sons to believe in their art and also know that none of the women around them wants to hear about it at parties?
It helps to raise introverts.
A bit of “oh, honey, this is great, I’m so proud of your efforts, it’s almost good enough to show people!” is handy, too.
Came down here to ask the same question. What? With a weird rip in the crotch, and also his shoes are giant mary jane flats.
That gap in the crotch is why codpieces were invented. No, really: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codpiece
Ha! Ditto. The history of the codpiece is so weird and fascinating.
Oh, that makes sense.
Say, do you know how they got the leggings to fit that tightly without machine-knit fabric? I guess the front gap would have helped with the fit around the hips, but it looks like it would have been hard for him to bend his knees.
I suspect that at least some of the time they exaggerated how well fitting clothes were (think about comics and superheroines: that’s not what spandex over boobs looks like, that’s what a naked person in body paint looks like), but this article covers some of the various problems dealing with getting hose to fit properly: http://www.greydragon.org/library/underwear3.html
For the most part, chances are good they relied on the elastic properties of fine wool to stay tight and allow flexing, washing to make them tighten up again as needed.
Thank you!
The article also mentions hose being cut on the bias, which would definitely help, though I would have guessed that they’d have avoided it because of the cost of fabric then.
Yes! You use very fine wool, cut on the bias. People today underestimate how thin medieval fabrics could be. Wool can be so light you barely believe it. You model the tights on the person, or on a pair of their old tights and then on the person (as in, they’re wearing them and you pinch the fabric to see how tight you can make the tights). And then you take the tights off and sew, verrry carefully with tiny lil stitches, stopping every once in a while to check the fit, and you lay the seams down with a special sewing technique that won’t bulge. And then you have a pair of slick, tight, calf-revealing hose that look like they were painted on.
It’s difficult but it can be done. Source: my friends are reenactors (I don’t have the patience to sew but I’ve watched other people make hose/tights a number of times)
I think it’s just unfortunate shading around the crotch seam.
I mean, historically, leggings didn’t join with a center crotch seam for a while (so that’s why codpieces were invented).
Okay I’m going to go be a nerd somewhere else…
Oh my gosh. We can nerd out about historical clothing together!
Perhaps someone wants to write an informative series for the Toast, she said, winking.
I am really digging how feminine some of these dudes look.
Super into it.
Darnit, I thought I was the first guy to set up a mannequin to admire me while I snore, but look at #4.
I *wish* I could sleep as well as #4. That is how relaxed I want to be all the time.
This is incredibly soothing to look at right now.
Also, the fourth-to-last guy, I thought he wasn’t wearing pants and was saying “it’s ok little buddy, you’ve had a long day” to his penis.
I like these Men. These Men may be given the opportunity to attend future parties, though any lutes will still be taken from them at the door.
What I want to know is how these men are able to sleep in these outfits/positions when there is a 0% chance of me getting to sleep if I am wearing ANYTHING even UNDERWEAR or EARRINGS and if there is a TINY LIGHT and if my pillow is not at the EXACT OPTIMUM POSITION AND CONSISTENCY god there are so many tricksy variables
I mean
look at number four
look at number EIGHT
guys, margot fonteyn called, she wants her effortless poise and torsion back
It helps to have a cat sleeping upon you. You have no choice but to be still, no matter what you’re in or where you are, and eventually you’ve nothing left to do but fall asleep.
When I see a painting like Little Buddy Had a Hard Day, I wonder how the artist felt about the finished work. Like, was he happy with that right foot? “It’s okay, they’ll just think his shoes were weird.”
They look like mary janes from China Town, or Delia*s.
Dear me, I did hope that the God of War would have a little more stamina. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mars_and_Venus_%28Bo…
Goat-babies! Something new has been added!
Winged babies are so 16th Century….
“be sure to use the time the men in your life are asleep wisely”
That painting looks like it might be Cupid and Psyche which, if anything, is a myth that proves this very point. Don’t wake your gorgeous hookups, especially with hot oil. It ruins EVERYTHING.
“look at how pretty his mouth is when he doesn’t use it for talking” I died.
After arguing about Ghostbusters with butthurt white dudes who don’t understand why the newest announcement is terrible I needed this reminder that I do like men sometimes…
Sleeping Beauty is ACTUALLY about a man.
Sleeping Beauty is ACTUALLY about a man.
Super into it.
Siiiiiiiiii.
Apparently this was an entire genre, with like loads of artists doing versions. Look up anti-clerical art on wikipedia, there's an awesome one of a cardinal cooking.
Small print: if it's a CPAP machine, the noise it makes will keep you awake instead.
Random note: badly written articles on sleep hygiene tell you to do something like try separate bedrooms if your partner snores. No. If your partner snores, march them to a doctor and get them tested for sleep apnoea, which is a very common (the most common?) cause of snoring, and which is an illness which can have very serious consequences. Like, you know, death (it hugely raises the risk of a heart attack in your sleep, and the sleep deprivation it causes has such a profound impact on driving that many countries will ban you from driving if you have uncontrolled sleep apnoea past a certain severity, otherwise you're at high risk of crashing the car), but hey, that's obviously not as bad as bothering your partner' sleep!