HAROLD HILL: I will turn your sons into an orchestra
bring your children to me
you must learn to fear the green table
TOWNSFOLK: who are you
HAROLD HILL: I am the man of lies
now bring me a woman who has suffered
I wish for the face of a woman who has known pain
MARIAN: I live in the word cage and I do not fear you
WINTHROP: my tongue is broken, yet still I live for the mail
MARIAN: I know of your lies
HAROLD HILL: I have taught the children to create worlds with their minds
now I will never leave
Tags: movies, movies summarized, probably
Related Posts
Seven Brides For Seven Brothers
John Cheever’s “The Swimmer,” Fifty Years Later
Ender’s Game
Classic TV Shows Described By Someone Who Has Never Seen Them
“The Lady in the Tutti-Frutti Hat”: The Story of Carmen Miranda
Where Is The Sexually Cruel Sequel To The Devil Wears Prada For Which The People Clamor
is this “Werner Hertzog’s Music Man”?
“Gary Indiana- they say the name over and over again, as though it was an incantation, vainly hoping that by repetition it will be transformed from a barren, post-industrial wasteland into the golden Arcadia of the spirit.”
Please, what movie is this gif from so I can go watch it forty times now?
X-Men First Class.
Thaaaaaank yoooouuuu
76 is the number of our predicted years on earth, 76 is the number is trombones, 76 is the number of the beast.
I’d like this multiple times if I could. Thanks for the chuckle.
This comment needs 76 likes
I got to be the one who hit the 76th thumbs up on this, and for that I thank you.
My sister just wrapped a production of this show! Thanks for the synchronicity.
Mallory, please do Oklahoma.
CAROUSEL
Carousel is demented.
Kind of lends itself to a “dirtbag” version more than this style I think.
See, I think Carousel is already dirtbag. It wouldn’t really require that much tweaking to go that route.
But of course I would happily read any Ortberg Reimagining.
Enter the Carousel. This is the time of Renewal.
RENEW! RENEW! *sound of thirty years olds in white and red unitards vaporizing*
SOUTH PACIFIC
SHAPOOPI: I am the girl who is hard to get.
This show would be 300 times better if Marian was a full-on misandrist sent Harold Hill running for the hills.
Semi-relatedly, I’ve only ever seen one live production of this show, and it was at an all-girls school. Girl!Harold >>>>>>>>>>>>> Guy!Harold
god, what I wouldn’t give to play girl!Harold….actually I’ve been DYING to make a gender-swapped Importance of Being Earnest SOLELY because I want to play Algernon with a burning passion.
But who doesn’t want to see a lazy, charming, woman about town romance a sweet, if nerdy and bookish young man from the country? *she says to herself, confidently, as crickets chirp in the surroundings*
I AM SO IN FOR THE GENDER-SWAPPED IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST. I WILL PLAY JOHN. Can we get Channing Tatum to play Cecily, you know he would play that role like he was born to it.
MMM I was envisioning someone more waif-y, like maybe a blond Eddie Redmayne, but hey I would romance Channing any day or any week, so it works for me. 😉
Thinking Colin Firth (ironically enough) would have made an *excellent* Gwendolen, have to get someone polished and dapper…nearly any Young British Thing would do, it seems.
Hi, where is the kickstarter for this???
HERE ALL DAY for genderswapped Earnest!
Now I’m imagining Faith and Giles together and won’t get any work done today.
I, also, will watch this production.
Okay.
But.
Lady Bracknell is delightfully obnoxious, but her man counterpart would be drearily obnoxious, that old dude who feels like he knows everything and has to impart it to everyone else all the time and I would pretty much want to throw things.
My favourite local theatre company which is known for being fairly queer did an all-male production of Earnest where all the actors wore tailcoats/suits and looked/acted ‘like men’ rather than the female characters being played in drag! It was amazing and I loved it a LOT, though I felt like it lost some of the feminist undertones in favour of playing up the male gay campness. Still amazing though, it made me want to see an all-female Earnest more than ANYTHING.
Neighboring public high school did a production of Jesus Christ Superstar when I was also in high school, and sitting in the audience I fell head over heels in love with the female Judas who was wearing pleather pants.
My university also had a female Judas, but with a twist – she was dressed in dominatrix gear. It was completely fabulous and added a whole new layer to Judas’ already-canonically-twisted relationship with Jesus.
*fans self*
Best Jesus ever was 90s Amy Ray.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bl8iaokrXf4
The fringed vest! The intensity! The hair!
Judas in Pleather needs to be its own thing.
My brother’s college had a butch blond lesbian be Jesus in Godspell and she was wonderful. Genderbend Bible ftw
In a parallel universe, Marian reaches peak misandry and does just that. 😉
I’ve done this show SEVEN GOD FORSAKEN TIMES now and I approve strongly of this message.
MONORAIL
MONORAIL
MONORAIL
MONO-doh!
I’ve seen this film multiple times, and this is 100% accurate.
We are the town councilmen. We have many mouths but only a single voice. Our harmonies are everlasting.
My office receptionist IS one of the “pick pick pick” ladies, I swear.
Can we talk about the mechanics of his scam? My understanding is the plan was this:
1. come to town
2. promise to teach the kids music
3. take thousands of dollars for instruments and outfits
4. _actually order them and give them the instruments and outfits_
5. skip town without teaching the music
so he’s only making money on the commissions?
why not just take the money and skip town, and make thousands rather than a small commission?
My theory has always been that if he delivers the physical products he does not feel bad about his scam. He can tell himself they’ll pick up how to play the instruments on their own. Just taking the money and not providing the equipment would feel like a crime while not providing musical instruction just doesn’t feel like a big deal to him.
He’s always seemed self-deluded, like he really thinks the band will happen, in his head.
“If you want to learn to play the Minuet in G, think about the Minuet in G.”
My 8-year-old’s school did Music Man, Jr. last year, which led to us watching (part of) The Music Man movie (we both got bored) which led to my absolute horror at the misogyny of that story (that I had forgotten) which led to my uncontrollable need to tell my 8-year-old “You know, you really don’t have to get married when you grow up if you don’t want to.”
Your 8 year old: “You have a bad habit of changing every subject.”
You: “No, I haven’t changed the subject, I was talking about that stranger.”
Your 8 year old: “What stranger?”
You: “With the suitcase, who may be your very last chance but that’s OK because you don’t need a spouse to be happy!”
Real life was almost as amusing. Basically, she flicked her eyes in my general direction for 10 seconds and said “OK. Can we turn this off?” To which I responded “Yes. Yes, we can.” And then we played Clue, Jr. instead.
I was in the pit for this in high school, and all I remember is struggling with this one particular piccolo line. Mainly bc I didn’t bother actually practicing it. For all I know, this could have been what was going on behind me.
We are the River City-zians. We contain multitudes. And maybe a little zealous worship of the Wells Fargo gods.
Oh we got trouble
Right here in River City!
Trouble with a capital T
Which rhymes with C
Which stands for Cargo-cult!
“I am the rogue despised by other rogues.”
“I am the virtuous woman whom women of virtue disdain.”
“It is fate.”
HAROLD HILL: I could lie on your floor unnoticed until my body had turned to carrion
oh wait that’s the actual Music Man
caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarion
madame libraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarian
ADDENDUM: that is because he has been lying on the floor, having “busted my whatchamacallit”…..
Harold HIll identifies that if a man’s genitals are “busted”, he becomes helpless, useless, nay, even DIES. I posit that “Madame Librarian” is the most subversively misandrist song in the whole oeurve.
I knew there was a reason I’ve always loved that song!
There is a place in my head that could contain useful or spiritual or philosophical knowledge but instead contains all of the lyrics to Trouble in River City.
gotta figure out a way to keep the young ones moral after school!
with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for POOL!
You say this like the lyrics to “Ya Got Trouble” *aren’t* useful spiritual or philosophical knowledge.
I like to sing “Ya Got Trouble” to my dogs, only subbing in letters for their names. “Trouble with a capital T, and that rhymes with D, and that stands for Dexter!”
THAT FACE COULD NEVER CAUSE TROUBLE. I can tell that your dog is an angel.
THERE ARE NO TROMBONES ON ME
I’VE GOT NO BRASS TO HOLD ME DOWN, TO MAKE ME SMILE OR MAKE ME FROWN
I demand more Last Starfighter/Music Man fanfiction! I still contend they are the same person. I have had this head canon ever since I was a child.
I WOULD LIKE TO SECOND THIS REQUEST WHOLEHEARTEDLY
Philip Glass or John Adams needs to set this to music.
The Music Man: A Five Minute Opera
This seems to be tending towards an intriguing crossover with Welcome to Nightvale.
ETA: she said to braak, referring to the city council.
Having performed in The Music Man in high school, this would certainly have been preferable.
Perfect words.