Blind Items From A Central Californian Monastery -The Toast

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100% genuine gossip, sourced by Our Woman in Big Sur County. Information provided for entertainment purposes only, keep it to yourself. Previous installments can be found here, here, and here.

Which weekend retreatant helped herself to a full plate of green beans at Saturday lunch, took one bite, realized they were still crisp-fresh, then threw the rest off the side of the deck of the Hesychia hermitage out of embarrassment, even though the retreat kitchen has a perfectly good compost bin and John 6:12 (“And when they had eaten their fill, he told his disciples, ‘Gather up the leftover fragments, that nothing may be lost'”) enjoins us all to waste as little food as possible?

Which new brother who recently took simple vows is altogether too handsome to be singing the cantor part at Vespers? Someone that good-looking has no business thinking of eternity.

Which guest took more than one meal’s worth of the breakfast croissants they put out in the kitchen the night before so that some people who got to the kitchen late only got to have one croissant, instead of the two they had been thinking about having? My money’s on that guy who was always carrying a coffee cup.

Which Cottage 1-9 occupant spotted not one but five planets visible to the naked eye in a single evening this last weekend?

Which Cottage 1-9 occupant corrected the spelling of “visible” on the following night sky announcement? (Our Correspondent’s guess? The original poster!)


Which attendee initially misread the above announcement as “5 visible planes in AM sky” and later had a mild chuckle at her own expense, thus inadvertently breaching the Great Silence?

Which occasional visitor to the monastery feels enormously guilty for having even noticed the new brother’s looks, and wishes she hadn’t said anything, because she actually has a lot of respect for his vows, and honestly, how you look shouldn’t affect the choices you make in life?

Who left that tin of Swedish cookies in the communal kitchen for everyone to have some? They were really good.

Word has it the sunset was even nicer Sunday night. You should’ve been there.

Which brother who generally runs the bookstore on weekends comes off a little withholding to Your Correspondent? He’s really polite, and honestly just a little reserved, not at all unfriendly, but he doesn’t seem to approve of me in the over-the-top, showy way I really need everyone to be?

A certain collection of guesthouses now have electric fans provided in the closet for your convenience! Who thought they were too good to just ‘open a window’ like in the old days?

Which frequent visitor always smiles, but never waves, when passing other guests on the walk down the driveway?

Whose little bruschetta bread things were a real hit at lunch Friday? A big enough hit to see several guests sneaking in for seconds, which is generally frowned upon before 1:30pm.

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