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Your Powers Combined Rhinestone Ring, $9 (was $18) This is here as an excuse to talk about two other giant rings: the future Mrs. Kardashian’s and the one Kandi Burruss wore on the recent RHOA reunion. What even was that?

(Also, who else had that nail polish in 10th grade and how hot were you sure it made you?)

image4xxlDiya Maxi Dress, $43 (was $81) Yes, this puts a bullseye right between your legs. Don’t mind it.

cn10430545Ballet Wrap Cardigan, $34.99 (was $49.95) Who doesn’t want to look like a ballerina? Here are some shoes to help sell your new persona:

36416253_025_eTillie Smoking Slipper Flat, $19.95 (were $51) Love a leather shoe for under twenty bucks but I’m bettin’ you can’t wear these outdoors.

503178100_1_whstabletopBarneys Leather Trimmed Coaster, $16 (was $75) HEAR ME OUT. OK, so this is one of those items you see at the place your friend is housesitting and you’re like, must be nice to not only have rich friends but ones who also trust you with all their fancy stuff, jerk. At this price, you could buy two, maybe even four, and then people could hate YOU.

F2296_ED0747Mismatch Stud Earrings, $12.50 (were $18) Time to stock up on tiny one-off studs because we’re filling all our holes again. Speaking of holes…

27495720_095_bOakwood Makeup Brush Holder, $24.95 (was $34) Hahahaha… Uhhh, you do know they allow wimmin folk to own their own drills nowadays, dontchya Anthro?

3605971098895_gwenstefaniUD Gwen Stefani Brow Box, $15 (was $30) This looks like a pretty good kit mainly because blonde brow kits always seem to lean redder than this one. Give it whirl and report back? Also, not to brag, but my mom is friends with Gwen’s aunt and exclusively refers to her as “[Name redacted]… you know, Gwen Stefani’s aunt?” Moms — they’re just like us!

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