Dramatis Personae John Lennon, a songwriter Yoko Ono, an artist INT. NIGHT - PENTHOUSE SUITE, THE DAKOTA, a very expensive hotel babe babe babe babe babe are you awake babe wake up what what is it babe what if we stayed in bed all day we're in bed right now no but we'll just it'll be like now but in the day why would we do that for peace, yoko ok and we could order…
There is a disturbing and pernicious mass delusion floating about that the Chipotle restaurant chain is a good place to get food -- that customers should go out of their way to get more of Chipotle's food from Chipotle -- that maximizing the amount of Chipotle-borne roughage inside of a foil packet is a desirable way to behave. I cannot possibly let this stand. I will not get into issues of authenticity and who does or does not…
Previously: apples are terrible. Something that seems intrinsic to the human condition is the need to periodically create slideshows of healthy snacks. I do not know why this is the case, but the same eight fistfuls of food regularly make the Internet rounds at least a few times a year. You and I could all name them in our sleep: the two dice' worth of cheese cubes, some thick-ass yogurt, the palm-sized serving of…
Fall is a very busy time of year when it comes to getting upset about flavors. There is no shortage of opinions on pumpkins, or whether turkey is any good, or how to properly sauce a cranberry. Meanwhile, apples have been getting a free pass from food writers for years. "Oh, an apple," people exclaim vaguely when presented with one. "That's good, somehow." Apples are monstrous. They are monstrous when they come pre-sliced and pre-doused…
