A couple days ago, I had just began to shampoo my hair when I saw a spider dangling under the faucet, struggling to hold on to its filament.
My heart started racing and I had one foot out of the tub before I started reviewing my options—I could end my shower now, covered in suds. I could try and wash the spider down the drain. I could yell for my
What are spiders even for? Has anybody ever proved they fulfil a useful ecological niche? I ask this while covered in dozens of mosquito bites, and surrounded by the buzzing of flies, before you break in with that guff about them keeping insects under control.
The unfortunate reality of the 24-hour news/hypochondria cycle is that fad diets have been crowded out by celebrity endorsements and single-use culinary gadgets. It used to be that every tabloid had its own clinically-tested 100% effective diet. You couldn’t fan yourself with your broad-brimmed hat without smacking a rail-thin Saturday Evening Post Dieter, meekly eating scraps of newsprint out of the palm of their hand. But now, there’s only enough room in the MSDM (Mainstream…