Previous editions of the Quotable Jane Austen for Evil People can be found here. Most recently: Mansfield Park. When your friend asks if you like her new haircut: "We are not all born to be handsome." When ickily scamming on some chick named [Something] Elliot at a garden show: "You need not be afraid, Miss Elliot, of your own sweet flower gardens being neglected." When your son tells you he's gotten a merit-based scholarship…

Previous editions of the Quotable Jane Austen for Evil People can be found here. When a guy at a party asks if you want to go see a movie with him next weekend: "Do not you know that, of all things upon earth, that is the least likely to happen?" When preparing your children for the arrival of your foreign exchange student from Scotland: "We shall probably see much to wish altered in her,…

When your partner worries about the declining health of his beloved parents whom you grudgingly help support: "If you observe, people always live for ever when there is an annuity to be paid them." When criticized for underpaying interns: "Five hundred a year! I am sure I cannot imagine how they will spend half of it; and as to your giving them more, it is quite absurd to think of it." When disapproving of your…