This week’s pairing is a Pimm’s cup and a baguette with butter. Because bread is the soul of life and because this is not a real Pimm’s cup. Do you see cucumber? I do not. Hence not real.
Any disappointing food/colleagues/shopping/students/ adventures this week? Anything awesome? Tell us.
Tags: cocktail hour, cucumber or gtfo, meta, open thread
This is week two of classes / Grad School for me. Living in a new place is so inherently lonely. I like being alone, I like running errands by myself I don’t mind, I started watching HIMYM and I’ve been cooking lots of new stuff but I think that is how it snuck up on me? It has been three weeks and I think I just hit my limit on being alone. I am going the social Oceanography things that the kind returning grad students keeping e-mailing everyone about. (Two Dollar Drafts, First Friday, Football games) MmmmHmm, I’m going to a Texas A&M football game. So at least i’m not feeling lame on the weekends. The things is I have so many friends that I really like, none of them live in the same place, none of them live in College Station. I don’t really want new friends. I want my friends who watched When Harry Met Sally once a week for most of 2010, and the ones who will come hang out while I clean my kitchen. I realize this funk is temporary. Today I did find the microwave and electric tea kettle on the 5th floor so now I can return to drinking tea all day long.
Well done! Something tells me the electric kettle/microwave alcove will be a nexus of socializing as the semester marches on.
I completely understand these feelings! It’s hard making new friends, especially when you’re already so busy. It feels like it requires too much energy, and I like the ones I have. they just all happen to live in different cities than me now, which is tough.
It’s such a specific type of loneliness, too. I feel like I see people ALL THE TIME but all I really want is to have face-to-face interactions with people I have known for a long time. I’m getting that tomorrow (so excited) but it’s just like, ugh, how much longer until all of these new people become old people?
<3 our parallel toast lives.
This is the exact feeling I was trying to put into words: ” how much longer until all of these new people become old people? ” Yes, I will make all of my new old people friends over brewing tea. This sounds like an excellent plan.
Yesss this sums up a lot of the new-city loneliness I’ve been feeling too. I’ve been here for about 6 months though, so now there’s a little more history building with some of my new friends. They’re not old people yet, but our relationships are getting broken in and comfortable, and it’s making me feel so much more settled and happy.
Aww, I feel for you. I am not the most outgoing person in the first place so I am used to not having a ton of friends, but grad school was the most crushingly lonely time of my life. I made *zero* friends until my last semester, didn’t make it into any of the cliques at my school (and there were many…yeesh). Loneliness led to self-loating, which led to self-isolation, which led to many tearful calls to my mom and best friend. In hindsight I should have either tried to “get out there” more often, or at least just have ventured out on my own rather than being sad and blue in my bedroom. On the other hand, all that alone time gave me some startling insight into my psyche, which I am actually the better for. Best of luck with school and with finding your social niche!
I survived back to school week at my university job. It was actually fairly pleasant, though I wasn’t there for the hardcore technical snafus. I did have a long depressing conversation with a colleague about workplace politics, unpopular colleagues, and how half of us are probably going to lose our library jobs to underpaid library info instructors and outsourced reference and cataloguing. I love my field but I don’t know if I have the hard tech skills to survive, and it feels like no matter how much I pour into being a good public liaison and reference assistant, it’s not enough to give me a leg up beyond the part-time midlevel job that I have.
On a less depressing note, today I am going to go buy the new issue of Poetry and meet a friend at a craft sale and buy an inordinate amount of homemade jam. And maybe visit her new kitten!
Also I reeeeeally want to talk about Cassandra at the Wedding, so I hope that post goes up soon. Has anyone else been reading it? I picked up a copy of Baker’s first novel, and it is AMAZINGLY pulpy looking: https://twitter.com/magpiecalling/status/37383603…
I hear you with the library field uncertainty. I’m still in school, but one of my part-time library positions is getting de-funded in December (which in a way is good to experience early–like, WELCOME TO THE PROFESSION, get used to it, so I can’t say I didn’t know what I was signing up for).
Have you thought about going back to school part-time to get some kind of advanced tech certification? I know my library school offers an entirely-online digital stewardship certification, and there have to be similar programs out there. If you’re worried about a lack of hard tech skills and have some extra time and money (which is definitely an If, but there it is), it might be useful.
A) Yes can we talk about Cassandra at the Wedding?
B) holy shit what is that first novel you tweeted and is it amazing
I haven’t started it yet, but I WILL LET YOU KNOW.
Emily and I are having our discussion on Tuesday, so you’ll probably get to join in on Thursday!
Hooray!
Ah, I’m so sorry to hear that about the field! For what it’s worth, I spend a lot of time with librarians/archivists, and although we sometimes clash, I always appreciate the work that goes into sustaining my research. Thanks, guys!
That’s good to hear! If you, or anyone reading this is in a teaching position at a university or college something you can do is make sure people know how much you appreciate your library staff. Let your department head know, let the library dean or head librarian know, if you are on committees with administration, make sure they know. Everyone seems to think that what we do can be done by anyone with google, so we need instructors, students, and researchers who value what we do to go to bat for us. Likewise, if the clashes you experience are because something doesn’t work for you, let your library admin know so we can fix it. /end library promotion
It was slow in the library today and my student assistant and I spent most of the afternoon googling the barbies I had as a child. My favorites: that Courtney with the cellphone who looked like she was from clueless, the very old t-shirt Courtney, Glitter Beach Teresa, Becky (aka wheelchair Barbie) and Generation Girls’ Chelsea (forever the Barbie that I aspire to be).
I used to make my Barbies play murder mystery al the time as a kid. My one Ken doll would be the victim and they’d use the weapons from clue to kill him. More often than not the murderess Barbie would drive away in the blue convertible laughing and vowing revenge on Detective Barbie.
I was a student worker at the reference desk at Boston University and it was the best job. A. I’m way better at research than the average person. B. I got a lot of work done when people were not frantically writing papers.
I love my student workers! (I have four–and I’m the only librarian in our little art school) They tutor students and are just the best (mostly because they humor me in my weirdness–one sings me the mail song from Blues Clues when she brings in our mail).
Hey I was a reference desk worker at BU too, lo these many (jesus god 10) years ago! Most relaxing job ever most of the time.
Yessssss, my Barbie[s] always had the most sordid adventures, then went speeding off in her convertible, spraying gravel behind her to obscure the tire tracks.
Also, my Barbie’s favorite outfit was a fur maxi-coat and white go-go boots aaaaaand that’s it. She’d drive around, naked under her one-button coat, seeking adventure. My childhood grasp of adult sexuality was… let’s say, imperfect.
I dressed my Barbies up in handkerchiefs and played Amazons with them.
Either that or reenacting Little House on the Prairie.
Barbies were pretty cool – despite the weird body-image issues.
Dining etiquette proposal! So exciting! Basic definitions first. US style: fork held in right hand, like a pencil, tines up. Fork moves to left hand, tines down, knife in right hand to cut, then put down and fork back to right hand. EU style: Fork held in left hand, tines down, handle lengthwise down palm. Knife held in right hand to cut and while eating, and used to push food onto back of fork. (yes, US style was actually a EU style, way back when, but I’m talking modern standards.)
I grew up with US dining etiquette, but have learned to be more comfortable with EU, meaning I’ll adapt to the situation. HOWEVER! I propose a new hybrid style. Fork in right hand, US style, just flip it tine down to cut. Knife in right hand to cut, then put down. That tines down nonsense is for the birds. I know that some feel tines up looks like you’re shoveling your food, but tines down with the knife is smooshing, and that’s not any better. Aesthetically, this would be more appealing, and makes it much easier to eat while working through lunch. Again. Basically, I’ve just started doing this all the time, and want everyone else to do it, too.
Your thoughts?
Wait, your fork and your knife are in the same hand when you cut?
Ugh, dumb me. I mean I keep fork in left, tines up to eat, tines down when cutting. Knife in right for cutting.
Ah, I think I eat that way sometimes. I agree that it’s got the best of both worlds. Tines up is just needed sometimes!
I’m pretty sure that’s how I do it! Except that I occasionally put the knife down if there is little cutting involved in a meal, and I use it a lot less to push food onto my fork since I realized that almost no one outside of my immediate family seems to do it and I felt weird. I didn’t know that was a US/EU style difference, though! Maybe I will start doing it more again, it’s so much easier.
The tines up or down question really comes down to the smooshiability/stabability. Solids (meat) tines down, smooshy (mashed potatoes) tines up.
I’m a lefty and have always (as far as I remember) done it EU style, with tines down, fork always in the left hand. I don’t think I could even attempt it any other way at this point.
Same here! I thought it was a lefty thing, but apparently my brother does it too and he’s a righty. Our mom didn’t teach us to do this, so I’m not sure where we picked EU style up…
Good thing: DC-area adventure plans are coming along, and I think we’re going kayaking in a couple of weeks! You can still e-mail me (wonder and uncertainty at gmail) if you want in.
Disappointing thing: Books I was excited about that turned out to be mediocre. Why is this the worst? I would rather they at least be spectacularly bad.
Can you tell us which books? Book rumble! Book rumble!
Hmm… I won’t name them all, since every book deserves to be loved by SOMEONE, and many of the problems are my own expectations.
For one example: I’m stuck in the middle of Laura Lippman’s Another Thing to Fall, which has made me remember that I ALWAYS get stuck in the middle of Laura Lippman’s books, and then I finally finish them, and then I remember them as being exciting and compelling all the way through.
I also just read Lottie Mogoch’s Kiss Me First, which was mostly great, but as I was reading, I convinced myself that there was going to be a big twist (and I knew what it was), and then that just never happened, nor did anything equally twisty.
I can’t think of a good non-crime-story example, but I know there are many.
Where! And when! I’m in Charlottesville and if the timing works out (I’m in the middle of a several-stage move) I’d love to kayak with some Toasties!
I’m two-thirds of the way through the most extraordinary book I’ve ever read, A Time for Everything by Karl O. Knausgaard. Anyone?
The last born infant on earth was just held under water by his mother, Noah’s niece, as the ark drifted by, and I just legit cried, which is why: The Toast cocktail break.
*sob*
Damn, that sounds intense.
I spent the whole week with the kind of horrible ailment that no one wants to hear specifics about — not even me, which is really saying something.
I will say only: it would have been mortifying if it hadn’t been so scary; The Fella earned his stripes this week. I’ve been on the other side of this caregiving situation, but now I know what it’s like to receive unconditionally loving care. I feel like I got a glimpse of our old age together, and it made me feel very secure and beloved.
To sum up: my entire week was spent in pajamas, but not in a good way.
Oh, I’m so sorry. Hope it’s something that can be resolved/helped/fixed to some degree.
Oh, yes, I should have specified: I’m well on the mend now. I expect the next few days to be unpleasant but not scary. We spent most of Labor Day weekend playing the ever-popular game “When Do You Go To The ER, Anyhow?” but the crisis is well-past now. PHEW.
Ugh! I hope you feel better. Having been through several “When Do You Go To The ER, Anyhow?” family emergencies as a teenager I view that secure and beloved feeling as the ultimate goal! Congrats to you for finding it! I’m sorry you had to find out he was sea worthy when your health was at stake!
This was heartwarming. I’m glad you’re feeling better!
That sounds horrible, but I’m so glad your guy stepped up so well.
He always does. I’m incredibly, inexpressibly grateful to him — and for him. There’s really nothing like someone taking calm, unhesitating, unembarrassed care of you when you’re miserable and scared.
http://seraillon.blogspot.com/2011/04/time-to-eve… does elegant justice to the splendor of this book, as if anyone else needs anything more to read.
No cucumber in a Pimm’s Cup is a TRAVESTY.
I am sitting in my friend’s apartment drinking pumpkin ale at 2:30 in the afternoon. Ah, VACATION.
In our house, Pimm’s cups need green apple and mint too. Like some sort of WASPy carbonated sangria sitch.
No, cucumber in a Pimm’s cup is a travesty. 😉
This week has been an entire disappointment, with my landlady being a bully and threatening to evict me because I let a friend drop some stuff off at my house when I wasn’t there, and with my work being dull and stressful at the same time, BUT next week I leave for a trip to Iceland and the Baltics (with stops in Helsinki and Frankfurt)! I have never travelled much and I am having the hardest time figuring out what to pack, so I am nervous but it’s going to be great anyway!
Oh my goodness, your landlady is horrible but this is the most exciting! Above all pack comfortable shoes and a comfortable purse. I also like to have a lot of dark-colored clothes for traveling in Europe, partially because you look slightly more European (at least in the cities I’ve been to) and partially because it’s nice to be able to slap together any ol’ clothes and have them match decently. Also, you can more easily hide black sneakers under a black skirt than something colorful. 😡
How did you know that I was obsessing over which purse to bring?! I have a black shoulder purse and a dark blue, large, cross-body purse. I had decided to bring the black one because it’s lighter and I figured less likely to be pick-pocketed because it’s fairly inconspicous and I tuck it under my arm, but then the Internet said cross-body purses are safer and aaaahhhhh why is it so hard? You’ve convinced me to go with the shoulder one, though. It’s lighter than the cross body one, which sometimes hurts my shoulder.
Solid choice. I think definitely go with the comfier one. And really as long as you keep a good grip on your purse and are conscious of it, I think you’ll be fine. Cross-body purses are safer, but I don’t think it’s worth the discomfort.
I’ve never met anyone who’s been to Iceland (including me) who didn’t LOVE it and want to move there. Have an amazing time! And pack warm clothes. I went in October when I went and it was about freezing every day.
Lots of love for the Baltic! We did a Baltic cruise for our honeymoon, and Helsinki was my favorite favorite! There’s a really wonderful modern art museum, there if that’s your jam, and super cool Scandinavian housewares all over the place, which are wonderful for personal consumption and also make great gifts. I’ve traveled lots and have never been pickpocketed or purse-snatched. Not that it couldn’t happen, but I think it’s way more important to have your wits about you than which bag you bring. That said, under your arm is probably a little safer. And smaller means you’re less likely to horde a million heavy things in it, too, so easier on the shoulder! Have so much fun!!!
I was much more worried about pickpockets and other theft from reading the UK governments foreign travel advice…until I read what they had for Canada. We sound like a hotbed of terrorism and crime and bears riding avalanches on that thing! Estonia sounds pretty safe in comparison.
The Footballs have begun. I am choosing to ignore the trouncing the Ravens received last night and focusing instead on the Monday night Skins/Eagles matchup. GOOOO SKINS! I am also trying to decide on the appropriate food for this event. Right now I’m split between baked brie and nachos, though one of my Twitter buds just suggested baked brie nachos and I am sorely tempted to try something like that. Pita chips? Draped with brie slices and covered with jam and sprinkled with crushed walnuts and brown sugar? Dare I pursue the impossible dream?
Baked brie AND nachos.
oh man, I am tempted, but that double whammy would make me so sick. Stupid sensitive stummick. >:(
Me too! No dairy for me. But I love(d) bake brie especially with apricot preserves. I have been doing a little goat cheese these days, which reminds me that I need to make that garlic goat cheese thing ASAP!
Always the correct answer.
I ate corn chips dipped in peach chutney yesterday and it was delicious, so I think brie and chips sounds perfectly acceptable.
Mmmm, Pimm’s cup. I need to go back to New Orleans.
Also, how am I supposed to start therapy if no doctors will return any calls?
Good thing: the Hubs and I survived our first real week of a commuter marriage.
Bad thing: We are staring down the barrel of 3 years of commuter marriage, on account of good grad school for him, good (but killer) job for me, and Metro North.
Other good thing: Grandma’s co-op board approved me so I’m now allowed to stay in her apt. even when she’s not there (Yes. Really. I can’t even. ARGH.) so now I only have to ride the 2hr train 1x per day.
Other bad thing: I finish my secondment in a month and then have to back to crazy junior / midlevel associate hours which will make the commuter marriage rougher and likely me craznkier.
Exciting thing: attempting a major (and brand new) DIY this weekend. Anybody have any experience stripping paint off of old furniture? I’m thinking Citristrip is maybe the best bet (even if the brand name leaves something to be desired.)?
EVER-PRESENT THING: is it maybe time to have a baby now?
I refinished a desk a few years ago, and stripped the old finish off with Citristrip! It worked really well and it’s CRAZY SATISFYING when you strip off the old paint. Have fun DIY-ing!
Cool! It seems like the least deadly of available substances, so fingers crossed that chair 1 (of 10!) goes well and I can confidently enlist help for the others later. Now to find some lady-sized work gloves. . . Home Depot was less than helpful in this respect. . .
If you can’t get them small enough, try wearing cotton gloves underneath. Does the job.
AND, new Neko Case album this week! Impressions?
I love tracks 1, 2 (“You never held it at the right angle” = inscrutable favorite sung line on album), 11 (strong contendor for favorite NK song of all time), and the remake of “Magpie to the Morning.”
Several listens in though and I’m skipping more songs than I usually do on her other albums. What say you folks?
It has really grown on me and I think now it’s my favorite of all of her albums. “Local Girl”, “Wild Creatures”, and “Calling Cards” are probably my favorites. The only one I find myself regularly skipping is “Nearly Midnight, Honolulu” because it is just too damn sad and makes my heart hurt.
I was reading interviews with her where she talks about sinking into a deep depression after both of her parents, with whom she was not close, died. I wasn’t close with my father and have gone between feelings of grief, relief, and utter indifference since his death ten years ago, I felt like this album really captured those conflicted feelings when you just aren’t sure how to deal with a loss. So to me, this is the most personally meaningful album of hers.
I am seeing her on Tuesday and have never been more excited for a show. I am absolutely obsessed with her.
I’m so glad this album has personal, carthatic relevance to you. I hope the show is awesome. The first really formal time I saw her was several years ago opening for Judy Collins, and she was spunky as shit there in that stuffy opera hall. She had curtained herself in a well-tailored swath of teal velvet, and there was her red hair too, of course.
The way she came out onto the stage was among a flock of haunchy greyhounds and their Colorado Greyhound Rescue Society handlers. You probably know she is a paladin of greyhound adoption, and recommends greyhounds as the choice breed for anyone who has historically been prone to eating their pets in a fever of adoration: “Not very meaty. Not great flavor. Their ears are just right for sucking, though,” as she tuned and toe-tapped some pedal boards.
Then she ejected a “Widow’s Toast”-shaped bell, followed by a “Margaret Vs. Pauline”-shaped one.
Right now I’m not in love, but I felt that way about Middle Cyclone and that one wormed its way right into my heart. Obviously the answer, as with all Neko albums, it to listen to it eight thousand more times.
That’s what I’ve been reminding myself. I’ve been kind of observationally standing to the side of myself as I listen to this album, marveling at the evolution of reactions it elicits play by play. Her music draws over me like no other artist’s, except maybe some classical stuff.
I should also add that it took me six whole years after discovering Neko a la Fox Confessor and being aware of but not enjoying her oft-compared-to-Patsy-Cline-roots before I fell head over heels for The Virginian and some other stuff with Her Boyfriends.
Never been a big New Pornographers fan, though, and I think that ship may have sailed.
Ah, see, a friend sent me Deep Red Bells right before Fox Confessor came out, so I binged on that and Blacklisted and then everything else.
I never got into the New Pornographers, either! No idea why. My brain just tunes them out.
Last Saturday, I bought the correct Spanx/strapless bra combo to go under my fabulous blue wedding dress. I saw the whole thing together and almost started crying in the dressing room, I looked so good.
I’m getting my shit together for the wedding rather admirably. I got an almost magical new app for the checklists and such. I will give Google all of my info if it means I get things like Keep…
It’s 4 weeks away, tomorrow, and yesterday was the -1month anniversary. I just can’t even.
Yay! Proper underthings are vital. I am sure you look fantastic.
Whenever the wedding starts to feel like All The Crazy, remember that you will get through it and then you’ll be married and you never have to do it again if you don’t want to. (Congrats!)
Yes, that is the only thing I can tell myself to even get through this. I’m not a planner, like, at all. But, telling myself this only makes it just under bearable. The getting there is not at all enjoyable. So much build up for just one day? Bullshit.
Can I see your blue wedding dress? My fiancee and I are also both planning to wear blue. I have a dress; she doesn’t.
http://shop.tadashishoji.com/evening-shop/cocktai…
I think that this picture does not do it justice. I’m a lady with the good curves and it looks fantastic on me. YMMV
I bet it does! The model is not a particularly curvy lady, but I can absolutely see that this would be exactly the right mix of sexy, sophisticated, and classy on a curvy woman.
I ate WAY TOO MUCH crap today: cinnamon bun from Starbucks, donut (work provided!), an ungodly amount of pizza (work provided!), an ice cream sandwich (work provided!), and some Skittles. Shockingly, I am now in the midst of an exhausting sugar crash.
I did not know work was going to be giving us all this food today – and it just kept coming! – so I didn’t pace myself or moderate, really, and even though my OB told me I could probably gain some more weight, I’m not sure this is what she had in mind.
“I know, I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, three pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, five peanut butter M&M’s and like three pieces of licorice.”
I definitely just did that in Alicia’s voice in my head, complete with hand gestures and facial expressions.
And now I want peanut butter M&Ms.
I guess my question out of all of this is how are Starbucks’ cinnamon buns? I really don’t trust their bakery items but always really want one.
As cinnamon buns, they’re really tragic. They’re kind of dryish. But even bad cinnamon buns are still cinnamon buns. I don’t think I’d ever go out of my way to get one.
That is what I suspected! They LOOK dry. Thanks for confirming.
I like the “Morning Buns,” especially when they’re extra-sugary and I warm them up in the microwave for 15 seconds. They’re no Duffey Rolls, but they’ll do in a sugar-needing pinch.
OK, that will be a thing I will need to try.
Yes, the Morning Buns are so good.
Best bet on S’bux breadstuffs is the asiago pretzel. YUM.
Ugh, what a week! I’ve been nursing a broken heart for the past two months and was just preparing to dip my toe in the friendship waters with him…when I received word from one of my best girlfriends that the ex emailed her, confessed he’d had a crush on her and tried to ask her out! She shut him down and called him a monster though. So I’m thankful to NOT be entangled in a relationship with an emotionally stunted, self-centered douchebag…and to have some of the very best girlfriends in the world. So celebration is in order…maybe a proper Pimm’s cup?
Oh no! What a rat! A celebration is definitely in order. Can I say, I have found watching The Great British Bake Off very comforting during my recent breakup? Everyone on the show is so pleasant and nice and all those baked goods! Plus it’s encouraged me to bake several things, and time I spend (trying to) bake is time I don’t spend Dwelling. And I’m sure I will be able to use some of my new History of British Baked Goods factoids to great advantage during the many dates I’m sure I will soon be going on.
GBBO is the best. It will help! You get Mary Berry’s soft, comforting voice, lovely animals, Paul saying “lucious” and at the end a group hug for that week’s loser. It’s just so so soothing. (Annnnd if you’re like me you can crush really hard on James the Scottish fair-isle sweater wearing med school baker from last season! That should help too!)
On a similar note, I would suggest that Australia Masterchef may be the greatest reality cooking show of all time. Everyone is lovely to each other, and it’s so fun to get a different perspective on “normal” cooking from the other side of the globe. I watch it whenever I need some comforting. Plus, each season is like 80+ episode. ftw.
NO SHIT! An emotionally stunted, self-centred douchebag broke my heart from atop his lofty Pedestal not too long ago! Funny how they abound. Hang in there, watch cooking programmes, and Pimm’s cup it out. Hope you feel better soon 🙂
Ahh thank you for your suggestions! (Pardon the late reply!) I have some fun cooking projects on the horizon and still have the rest of tomorrow to make lots of Pimm’s to make it allll better…
Oh this week!
YES: Husband finally found a job that he doesn’t despise! I’m getting more responsibility at work, with the potential for journal publications! I’ve started running more and I’m feeling back up to my “normal” fitness level following a few months of graduate school/wedding planning slug-behavior. Seeing my college friends in two weeks and planning shenanigans that will likely turn into a Disney movie marathon and one glass of wine each.
NO: Needing to finish my Master’s thesis, while intensely NOT CARING about the topic, and being frustrated with my lack of interesting results. Actually maybe having too much on my plate at work, although everyone else somehow has more responsibilities than me and I’m not sure how they budget their time (they must not refresh The Toast every 25 minutes).
Speaking of cocktails, how much do we drink? I drink every day. At least 3 drinks a day. I was out Monday with an old roommate from college and we caught up and I drank 3 cocktails and she had 2 glasses of wine and then went back to her hotel. I was all antsy so I went to the bar and played cards with my friends and had 3 more beers and a couple of shots, then I went home and patted myself on the back for going home early and not getting out of hand.
I always think I drink less than a lot of people I know, but I guess the people I know are big lushes.
I think the people you know are big lushes if 21 drinks a week is less than most of them.
I just saw “21 drinks a week”, and said “my MOM drinks more than that” to myself. Ha.
(just so it’s clear, I’m agreeing with you.)
So what is a *normal* amount of drinking, was kind of the point of my original post. I have no idea.
Um, I don’t know how normal I am but I generally go through a bottle or 2 of wine a week? Maybe with an extra mixed drink here or there?
I’m not much of a bar-goer, so I might be on the lower end of the spectrum.
Yeah, among my imbibing lady friends, I’d say somewhere between a prim five and a festive twelve drinks constitutes an average week of alcohol consumption.
“For men, heavy drinking is typically defined as consuming an average of more than 2 drinks per day, or more than 14 drinks per week. For women, heavy drinking is typically defined as consuming an average of more than 1 drink per day, or more than 7 drinks per week.” – http://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/faqs.htm
Color me a heavy drinker (I average a glass of wine a weeknight and sometimes two a night on the weekends for a grand total of nine glasses of wine a week).
I am approximately your kind of lush, though I am kinda sorta tryna cut back a little because Nicole’s Feel the Burn posts have inspired me to work out more/harder and it’s easier to do the ass kicking I want to do when I’m not drinking a ton. Plus trying to save more money and my precious precious alcohol is not cheap.
But then again, I’m drinking pastis as I type this, so.
I dunno, I guess my main thing is that I’m working on having more No Booze days in the week.
Upon having a really heartening conversation with my advisor yesterday, I sent the following text to a friend: “I’m really looking forward to the disillusionment though because I actually cannot handle being this excited all of the time. #gradstudentproblems” Overall, I’m feeling less panicky about the small number of people on campus now that I’m starting to click with some of them. (I went to a huge public school for my undergrad and the transition a small private school has been way weirder than I anticipated.)
I’m spending this evening making some stew to eat with the bread I made earlier this week and then I get to see one of my good friends tomorrow. Happy.
EDIT: Following the saga from last week, I DID get my pumpkin spice latte on Wednesday. I got a grande and was pretty sick of it less than halfway through but it was exactly the right kind of disgusting.
First of all: THANK YOU FOR THE TOAST, Nicole and Mallory. I don’t often comment but I read so many things on this site and love them. It is a really special place.
Secondly: I recently found my old copy of Madeleine L’Engle’s Many Waters and started rereading it and man, this book is kind of fucked. I did not realize how much and in what ways as a tiny heathen child. If anyone has read it and wants to discuss, please do. Relatedly: I was obsessed with A Ring of Endless Light as a teen, so we could talk about that too.
Is that the one where the twins go back in time to Noah’s ark time? I was obsessed with L’Engle’s books growing up and I think I read all of them.
YES, and then they both fall in love with Noah’s pygmy-sized teenage daughter who (as all the ladies in the ~oasis do) walks around with her tits out all the time. And she falls in love with them too, BOTH of them in exactly the same proportion. But chastely! Not like that horrible Tiglah, who has the audacity to enjoy sex and occasionally comb her hair!
And WHAT IS UP with the demon things knocking up all the women? Were they trying to propagate their species or something?
Yeah!! So messed up! I felt like the fact that they demonstrably had sex with the women was part of the whole book’s uncomfortable relationship with sexuality. The Good Angels don’t touch the women even if they love them. And all of the women who do hook up with the demons are painted as dumb and slutty rather than…possibly manipulated by beings who are far more powerful than they are? MAYBE?
Ooooh, you just reminded me in another one of her books (Arm of the Starfish) the main character gets raped by her boyfriend and then later is all “No, it’s fine. I liked it.”
Shit is fuuuuuuuuuucked up.
YIKES. I haven’t read that book in years and didn’t remember that. That’s horrifying!
I didn’t even realize it until just now? I haven’t read these books in over 15 years, and I was thinking about the attitudes about sex in them, and then I remembered that there was kind of explicit sex in Arm of the Starfish, and then I remembered how it went down and was like oooooooooooooh shit.
When I read it in high school it never occured to me that it was squicky.
YES, that’s what’s extra messed up, for me, about revisiting these books — reading all this stuff that I just totally accepted as fine/logical when it’s super misogynistic and gross. Did not ping on any kind of bullshit meter. It especially sucks because I think L’Engle is often framed as a feminist author (particularly in relation to Wrinkle in Time and Meg Murry). And I mean, Vicky Austin was hugely important to me as a Strong Female Character when I was young. It’s super disappointing to uncover the ways in which things that were formative for you may have formed you in really upsetting ways, I guess.
Wait, are you thinking of “House Like a Lotus”? Or am I confusing the two, since they both feature Poly O’Keefe?
I’m honestly not sure! Maybe I will undertake a L’Engle rereading project and figure this out.
It also might be something to do with the question of how evil remained even after the flood, because one of Noah’s daughters-in-law who comes on the ark is the daughter of one of the demon things. But she’s actually awesome (L’Engle thinks so too) and another one of the (fully human) daughters-in-law is questionable (lazy, too sexy, likes to eat, WOW SO BAD).
Thank you for allowing me to overthink this even more!!
Haha, so it’s like a recessive gene that crops up because Noah was forced to take his sons’ wives on the ark and inevitably would crop up sooner or later?
Possibly! Though I remember that one of the sons (the one that was married to the questionable wife) was himself questionable–I don’t know if this was some kind of Biblical reference, it might be–so it might not have been only the ladies’ fault (GIVING YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT, L’ENGLE).
Oh yeah! Shem. Whiny little lazy guy. I mean, l’Engle at least pointed out how sexist the bible was in noting that there were no women named…
Well, yesterday morning a professor threw me under the metaphorical bus and I cried in my office for twenty minutes and then for five minutes in front of my supervisor, buuuuut my supervisor and the department chair expressed how shocked and appalled they were at that prof’s behavior so that helped? And I’m so tired I feel drunk. And a bunch of other stuff got fucked up too but only a little of that is my fault. (My annual review is the start of October. hahaha I’m going to get fired, aren’t I?)
On the bright side, one of my favorite local musicians is doing a few shows this fall including a Sailor Moon Shoujo Spectacular, and I got a new prescription for my antidepressants, and it’s a beautiful fall day here, so. Time for a cider, I think.
What is it about this whole “throwing under the metaphorical bus” thing? I wish we could get into details! In my case, my supervisor, appalled, asked if I knew he was like that? And I’m like, “no. who was *that* guy.”
Perhaps the only way out is a book: Any recent books out there that tap into this very much alive Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde issue?
Here is a lovely representation of my experience with the “under the bus” issue I am referring to above:
Bob Newhart – how not to do an interview http://vimeo.com/32207413
I made a cake and covered it in sprinkles. Next week I will make a big-ass version of this cake. Weddings.
Beautiful! I bet it would look rad in round sprinkles too.
Now excuse me, I am off to get an ice cream cone with sprinkles.
Sprinkles are underrated. Enjoy them a lot, please. 🙂
Seeing that cake on my tumblr dash today made me smile. It’s so vibrant!
Yay! I’m so glad. Cakes should make people happy.
Oh man that is a hard picture to see when I’ve been craving cake all week but have no cake in the house to eat (and am too lazy to bake a cake).
Oh, I forgot to say so on Tumblr but I was in the breakroom at work when I saw that photo and said “WOW” out loud, and then I had to show it to everyone to explain why I’d said “WOW,” and we all agreed that it was basically the most impressive cake we’d ever seen.
Oh thank you! It’s just a bitty thing (well, it was, then it got eaten quickly last night) but I’m glad it looks impressive! Sprinkles go a long way as far as visual impact goes.
I am watching Star Wars and trying not to pick at my skin or think about how much I miss my fiance and how it’d be really fucking great if I didn’t have to go through Cymbalta withdrawals but I kind of have to because it’s not even working anymoreeeee. *inhales, exhales, and flings self backward into stack of pillows to remain for the rest of the weekend*
You’ll make it through the weekend. I believe in you!
Those are the worst! I really want to start up antidepressants and I loved Cymbalta but the memories of those withdrawals are preventing me from talking to my doctor. (And since I had such a good experience with it, I’m nervous about trying a different one.)
I just got laid off.
I’m really pissed about it, not so much because of the fact that they laid me off (business hasn’t been good), but because of the way they did it. I’ve been working there for 8 1/2 years. They laid me off at the end of the day today, with no notice and no severance. I only had enough time to clear the stuff out of my desk. They were happy with my work, but they eliminated my position for budgetary reasons and hired a part-timer to take my place (it would have been nice if they’d offered me the part-time position, because I may have taken it). Anyway, after 8 1/2 years, I at least deserved the courtesy of two-weeks notice. Instead, I’m going to get half a paycheck two weeks from now and that’s it. And we’re struggling to get by as it is.
Oh, and the boss is an old friend of my dad’s, if you can believe that.
Oh my GOD. I’m so sorry; their behavior is reprehensible.
Oh my god, that is really appalling behaviour on their part.
Oh, no! I’m sorry – that is some serious asshole behavior on their part.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT DUDE. I’m sorry, I din’t see this earlier. That is absolutely appalling. When you get your next job you may well be glad you DON’T work for such awful people any more.
Thanks, everyone. Even though I know it was really shitty it’s nice to hear a bunch of people agree. There were a lot of things I liked about that job, but a lot of things I hated too. I wasn’t paid nearly enough, and the air quality was so bad that it’s had an effect on my health. I get a lot more colds than I used to and my allergies are worse. So that’s something big!
Most of all, I’m going to miss my work husband. Can you use that term to refer to someone you have no sexual interest in? I was never sure. But anyway, he was my best friend there and I’ll miss working alongside him. I know we’ll stay in touch, though.
Mr. Blazes recently lost his (admittedly awful) job for reasons that enrage me but are out of my control. Market forces. Anyway, he’s a marketing writer in Portland so it should only take 5-10 years for him to find gainful employment again. Should we just open an artisanal dogfood boutique and stop trying to find creative work in a a city saturated with verbose weirdos?
You know this Staples back-to-school commercial? I was the gleeful parent this week. My daughter seems to be having a great time at preschool, too. She is so adorable describing her days that I just want to smish her.
Oh, also, I’m back to doing Friday sale posts at my blog if you guys want to check those out!
This week I thought about that Eleanor Roosevelt quote, or at least the quote that’s attributed to her on all those posters/bumper stickers. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” And I realized that I think that’s just bollocks. We are social animals and people let us know that they think we’re inferior on the social scale EVERY DAY. And while, yes, I get that one’s reaction to this signaling is crucial, it’s just too blithe to suggest that any time we feel the sting of that we’re CONSENTING to it, ffs.
And then I thought: that could be a column on the Toast. Enshrined poster wisdom we’ve come to reject.
yes, i love what you said. my most hated one is “God (or “the universe”) never gives you more than you can handle” Uhhhh, yes it fucking well does, hello that’s why suicide is a thing.
“Fear is a Liar”.
Fear has said some pretty intelligent stuff to me with regards to certain dudes and also climbing things without ropes. Fear is just cautious.
“No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars or sailed to an uncharted land or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.” -Helen Keller.
But science is basically saying “Maybe I and also all the other humans are terribly wrong about vitally important things. I should check, and then check again, and then figure out ways that the procedure for checking is wrong” so that is actually how we figured out the stars, thank you very much. And the people who MADE it to an uncharted land and back are probably the ones who thought “Water. Extra water, weapons, and maybe we should leave some food animals on islands along the way.” Also most of those dudes were jerks. And who opens a new doorway for the human spirit if they think the status quo is awesome?
Agh, I wanted to try and diminish my online presence this semester for so many reasons and all I can do tonight to stave off some weirdo anxiety attack brought on by week two of grad school, semester three is maybe read fanfiction (AH), old livejournal entries and listen to britpop both old and new (Pulp, yes, the Thrills, yes yes yes) while trying to create one of the dumbest PP presentations I’ve ever done (anyone heard of a pecha kucha? jesus, let’s try and totally ruin the art of public speaking, eh!) and not flip out. WHY?!
On the plus side I went to the gym before I was about to burst into tears earlier and totally thought of the rad fitness writing and didn’t feel as conflicted about things! And Star Trek was on the gym tvs! Spock forevz.
As sad as a Pimm’s Cup without cucumber is, it’s still better than most other cocktails. Or, if you want to really revel in the trashy, Pimm’s with Fresca is fantastic.
Ugh, after having a couple of decent weeks, my anxiety is back. Social anxiety and GAD. SUPER. I’m ok and functional (I usually am) but with so little joy. Also, I just stress ate, which isn’t normal for me. Boo 🙁
Those are the worst! I really want to start up antidepressants and I loved Cymbalta but the memories of those withdrawals are preventing me from talking to my doctor. (And since I had such a good experience with it, I'm nervous about trying a different one.)
I got officially hired as a salaried employee for the first time in my life, and only three months out of college! Granted, I’ve been working with them for the past two years, but it feels good. Also managed to eat almost two full slices of Artichoke pizza on Friday, which if any of y’all are familiar with the NYC-based delicacy, is a feat.
This is beyond late, so I don’t know if anyone will see this, and I’m not sure what I’m really looking for here. I just need to talk about it, and I think my friends are relieved (secretly) that I stopped talking about this many weeks ago.
The last few nights I’ve been having intimate dreams about my ex and it’s seriously tearing me up inside. Not sexual dreams, but emotional. Last night was the worst – I had multiple dreams involving him proposing to me, us getting married, us having children and being deliriously happy. I don’t think it would be such an issue, but real things that happened between us were interwoven with the fake dreams. Like the way he touched me or looked at me or things we talked about. It’s been very easy the past several weeks to think all the shit he does that used to piss me and all the reasons why I’m happier without him and now I just feel so low. I really do not like pining after someone or thinking of someone who doesn’t care about me. When will this all be over?
Blergh, sorry to hear that. I don’t really get over people until I glom onto some new person. Luckily/unluckily I get crushes all the time: on beautiful strangers on the subway, people at work I’ve never spoken with, Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks… whoever!
Obviously the healthier thing is probably something about being happy with oneself and not looking for emotional fulfillment in other people. BUT it is nice/easier/faster to have some other reason to feel excited about looking nice and seeing someone, even for clearly shallow and short-lived reasons. Baby steps? Good luck!