Previously: A grounded goth teen angrily renames household items.
MOVIE STAR: BRING ME MY PAIN TWIN
DIRECTOR: do you mean your stunt double
MOVIE STAR: BRING ME MY AGONY SHADOW WHO SUFFERS FOR ME
***
MOVIE STAR: BRING FORTH THE FALSE CROWDS
DIRECTOR: the who
MOVIE STAR: RELEASE THE SILENT HUMAN SWARM
DIRECTOR: do you mean the extras
MOVIE STAR: BRING ME MY MUTE COMPANIONS
***
MOVIE STAR: TRAIN THE LYING MIRROR ON MY FACE
DIRECTOR: do you mean…do you mean the camera?
MOVIE STAR: BRING THE HAUNTED GLASS THAT STEALS MY THOUGHTS TO ME
***
MOVIE STAR: WHERE IS MY PHANTOM WIFE
DIRECTOR: your costar
she’s your costar
MOVIE STAR: WHERE IS THE WOMAN WHO WEARS THE SAME CLOTHES EVERY DAY AND PRETENDS TO LOVE ME WHEN THE MIRROR SEES US
***
MOVIE STAR: BRING FORTH MY FLESH PUPPET
DIRECTOR: we have talked about this
your stand-in’s name is Marcus
MOVIE STAR: BRING OUT MY DECEIT TWIN WHO LIES TO THE MIRROR FOR ME
BRING FORTH MY SKIN MINION, I REQUIRE HIS BODY’S LIES
***
MOVIE STAR: RELEASE ME FROM THESE THIEVING WIRES THAT STEAL MY STRENGTH
DIRECTOR: we have been over this
it’s called motion capture and it’s for —
MOVIE STAR: NOTHING WILL EVER CAPTURE MY MOTIONS
YOUR HIDDEN WIRE GODS CANNOT COMMAND MY LIMBS
DIRECTOR: please don’t move that, they’re very expensive
MOVIE STAR: WHO WILL CAPTURE MY MOTIONS NOW
THIS BLANK GREEN WALL IS POWERLESS AGAINST ME
Tags: acting, humor, renaming things
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Has to be Russell Brand, right?
I immediately pictured him and Noel Fielding. GOTH DETECTIVES: THE MOVIE
Easily the most likely scenario for these conversations to happen irl. Good job.
I think the Oscar noms went to Jonah Hill’s head.
I am just envisioning an immortal all powerful vampire doing hollywood acting, and am in love and want this to be a weekly web series.
YES. I totally hear this in a voice like Carlysle Ravencastle’s (~Dark Husband to the Midnight~), from Thrilling Adventure Hour.
This was already good but now it is *amazing*.
Wow, Chris Hemsworth really gets into character.
I just noticed the old guy in this gif. He’s my new favorite.
I was thinking the exact same thing!
I want a silent human swarm and a flesh puppet for christmas please.
Meantime, Aaron Eckhart refers to stunt doubles, stand-ins, co-stars, extras, and cameras alike as my cheddar log.
“Where the hell’s my…you know, my cheddar log?”
“Which cheddar log would that be, Mr. Eckhart?”
“Uh. Damn, you know, with, with the bacon on it. Like a crust of bacon?”
“Gerard Butler’s still in Makeup, sir.”
I like to think this is Jenna Maroney when her career takes off post-TGS.
Jenna:Okay. We just need to hire some of those ugly people who have the paper and change the shapes on it.
Jack:Writers?
I keep finding myself caught up in rewatches of 30 Rock on Netflix, and then I finish and declare, “I have satisfied my need for 30 Rock-ness at this time.”
And then EVERY SINGLE GIF OR QUOTE on the internet makes me want to go start it all back up again. That show. That show.
I do believe that it can be re-watched an infinite number of times. I can’t even keep track of how many times I’ve seen each episode at this point, and I think my life is better for it.
Semi-related: What I was picturing when I read “NOTHING WILL EVER CAPTURE MY MOTIONS”
THIS IS MY LASAGNA, NERMAL
If Tilda Swinton talked like this on set it would make me love her more tbh.
The force of Tilda Swinton saying “Bring me my agony shadow” might cause a black hole.
Oh god it would be like…the earth would crumble. Just from her face.
I will be speaking like this at work now, thank you.
I may not have a job next week.
Maybe it’s all the Scotland news that’s sampled Braveheart lately, but this was Mel Gibson’s voice in my head. I bet his pain twins have some terrible, terrible stories.
Quotes from Starcraft also apply
http://starcraft.wikia.com/wiki/StarCraft_II_unit…
“Carrier has arrived”
“What would you ask of us?”
“You seek our service?”
“I bask in the twilight.”
“I hear the call.”
“Our duty is eternal.”
“The stars are under our protection.”
“Our light shall shine through the Void.”
“From the shadows I come”
What about quotes from Star Fox? Do a barrel roll!
May God bless you and keep you because you are magic.
Every time I think I can not love The Toast more, I find I can. “Renaming Things” is now a series? My heart will burst.
SKIN MINION!
bless.
MOVIE STAR: NOTHING WILL EVER CAPTURE MY MOTIONS
YOUR HIDDEN WIRE GODS CANNOT COMMAND MY LIMBS
Well, see, now I’m picturing Drax the Destroyer.
Benedict Cumberbatch as Khan.
Oh no why picturing Drax the Destroyer brings me joy whereas picturing Benedict Cumberbatch as Khan brings me NOTHING BUT SORROW
I was hearing Drax in my head too!
My best friend and I will never be able to talk again without quoting this.
Benedict Cumberbatch as Khan.
Easily the most likely scenario for these conversations to happen irl. Good job.
In my mind, this piece is voiced by Krieg the Psycho from the game Borderlands 2. It’s pretty much exactly how he speaks.
I love this so much. It makes working on a film studies essay late on Friday afternoon just tat little bit easier!
I know this is an old post, but damn, this is hilarious! My director friend was giddy upon receiving this link from me. Thanks.