“Bring Me My Pain Twin”: A Movie Star Names Things -The Toast

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pain twinPreviously: A grounded goth teen angrily renames household items.

MOVIE STAR: BRING ME MY PAIN TWIN

DIRECTOR: do you mean your stunt double

MOVIE STAR: BRING ME MY AGONY SHADOW WHO SUFFERS FOR ME


MOVIE STAR: BRING FORTH THE FALSE CROWDS

DIRECTOR: the who

MOVIE STAR: RELEASE THE SILENT HUMAN SWARM

DIRECTOR: do you mean the extras

MOVIE STAR: BRING ME MY MUTE COMPANIONS


MOVIE STAR: TRAIN THE LYING MIRROR ON MY FACE

DIRECTOR: do you mean…do you mean the camera?

MOVIE STAR: BRING THE HAUNTED GLASS THAT STEALS MY THOUGHTS TO ME


MOVIE STAR: WHERE IS MY PHANTOM WIFE

DIRECTOR: your costar
she’s your costar

MOVIE STAR: WHERE IS THE WOMAN WHO WEARS THE SAME CLOTHES EVERY DAY AND PRETENDS TO LOVE ME WHEN THE MIRROR SEES US


MOVIE STAR: BRING FORTH MY FLESH PUPPET

DIRECTOR: we have talked about this
your stand-in’s name is Marcus

MOVIE STAR: BRING OUT MY DECEIT TWIN WHO LIES TO THE MIRROR FOR ME
BRING FORTH MY SKIN MINION, I REQUIRE HIS BODY’S LIES


MOVIE STAR: RELEASE ME FROM THESE THIEVING WIRES THAT STEAL MY STRENGTH

DIRECTOR: we have been over this
it’s called motion capture and it’s for —

MOVIE STAR: NOTHING WILL EVER CAPTURE MY MOTIONS
YOUR HIDDEN WIRE GODS CANNOT COMMAND MY LIMBS

DIRECTOR: please don’t move that, they’re very expensive

MOVIE STAR: WHO WILL CAPTURE MY MOTIONS NOW
THIS BLANK GREEN WALL IS POWERLESS AGAINST ME

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