A Conversation Between The Two People I Assume Design All Restaurant Bathrooms -The Toast

BATHROOM DESIGNER #1: Okay, so I think we’re pretty much set here. There’s not a lot of space, it’s single-occupancy, we’ve got a sink, a toilet, a blow dryer, a trash can –

BATHROOM DESIGNER #2: Full length mirror.

BATHROOM DESIGNER #1: What?

BATHROOM DESIGNER #2: Full. Length. Mirror.

BATHROOM DESIGNER #1: What about it?

BATHROOM DESIGNER #2: We need a full length mirror.

BATHROOM DESIGNER #1: Where?

BATHROOM DESIGNER #2: Hanging on the inside of the bathroom door, directly facing the toilet, such that whoever uses is it forced to make eye contact with herself as she uses the facilities.

BATHROOM DESIGNER #1: Why would she…what purpose would that serve?

BATHROOM DESIGNER #2: Honesty.

BATHROOM DESIGNER #1: And that’s a, that’s a need you think customers will want to have met during their bathroom facility?

BATHROOM DESIGNER #2: You’re in the middle of a nice dinner. You realize you have to use the bathroom. You shouldn’t be allowed to sit there on the toilet and pretend you’re not one step removed from a goddamn animal.

BATHROOM DESIGNER #1: There’s already a mirror over the sink, if you want to check your reflection while you’re washing your hands.

BATHROOM DESIGNER #2: NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

BATHROOM DESIGNER #1: I…okay.

BATHROOM DESIGNER #2: You should have to look at yourself, in a full-length mirror, while you’re on the toilet.

BATHROOM DESIGNER #1: I’ll add that to the list of want-to-haves.

BATHROOM DESIGNER #2: Alternately.

BATHROOM DESIGNER #1: Alternately?

BATHROOM DESIGNER #2: We could put a stall in.

BATHROOM DESIGNER #1: A stall in a single-occupancy restroom?

BATHROOM DESIGNER #2: Yes.

BATHROOM DESIGNER #1: So there’s the door, and then a stall, and then the only toilet?

BATHROOM DESIGNER #2: Yes.

BATHROOM DESIGNER #1: And what end would that serve, exactly? Having the one stall, if there’s only one toilet?

BATHROOM DESIGNER #2: So someone else can open the door, scan the stall, realize there’s only one, and then stand in front of the sink and listen to you use the bathroom.

BATHROOM DESIGNER #1: Oh.

BATHROOM DESIGNER #2: I would have thought that would be fairly obvious.

FIN