Owls love nothing more than straddling the line between CUTELY WISE and “terrifying skymouths,” so you’ve gotta watch ’em at pretty much all of the time. You ever seen an owl in a painting, my friends? Let me offer you one piece of certainty in this life: no matter how messed up a painting is, if it’s got an owl in it, the owl will be the most messed-up part, no matter how many drowned heads and egg-violins Brueghel the Elder tried to cram in there. Don’t believe me? Well, believe me, instead of doing that.
THAT OWL IS TOO BIG
BUT QUIETLY TOO BIG, YOU KNOW? LIKE IT SPENT THE LAST FORTY MINUTES WHILE THAT GUY WASN’T PAYING ATTENTION JUST GETTING A LITTLE BIGGER EVERY MINUTE AS LONG AS THAT GUY DIDN’T NOTICE
WHAT BUSINESS DO YOU HAVE BEING THAT SIZE, OWL? ARE YOU GOING TO CLUTCH A BIG RUBY IN YOUR TALONS? GO BACK TO BIRD SIZE
this owl has murdered every other living being in this picture
why is THE OWL REMAINS such a popular theme in art?? THE OWL REMAIIINS
100% guarantee that these two owls are the only living beings pictured here because all other life on earth has been scythed away
THE OWLS ABIDE
If you look at this painting, and then look away, the man becomes an owl
ma’am do not let that owl touch you, something INCREDIBLY SINISTER and yet hardly detectable will happen to you!
IT BEGINS
[Images via]
Tags: animals who are not friends, artwork, owls
Huh. I’m wearing my owl dress today. THE OWL REMAINS
I recently bought a knitting pattern for a sweater with little owl cables on. IT’S A CONSPIRACY.
Please ignore my user name, it has nothing to do with the conspiracy. I am not working with the owls.
SO YOU SAY….
that actually sounds like an adorable sweater pattern, carry on.
That’s exactly what someone working with the owls would say.
I was wearing my owl apron last night! DUN DUN DUN
They know!
What is wrong with the human’s neck in that first painting? It’s slowly deforming isn’t it? The owl is willing the human’s body to contort gradually and painfully. Why, though?
The owl gains its life force from the suffering of other, lesser beings.
The only owls I trust are those conducting baby orchestras, per Married to the Sea.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT OWL’S EYES THOUGH
It is clearly using eye hypnosis powers to control the babies, of course.
The owls are not what they seem.
I think you mean Owl is not as it seems.
…I’ll show myself out.
You have a real talon for puns.
p.s. Just realized you were making a specific reference that I did not get, I will now hide under the table while blushing furiously.
But, guys, are the owls what they seem?
an owl is nevar back to front–hang on
I kind of like that owl in the first picture. It is the perfect size and appropriate amount of fluffy for hugging.
It gets bigger as you’re hugging it. Soon it will be hugging you and you will be the one growing smaller.
Oh god why?
Know what I needed this Monday? A post collecting all my nightmare paintings in one place.
Thank you.
Mallory you have never given anything with wings a fair shake on this site and I think you envy crows and owls and moths their mastery of the skies
Waiting for Mallory’s post about artistic depictions of angels through the centuries.
The Owl Remains and The Owl Abides have to be two of the books in a creepy/trippy trilogy of some kind, yes? with by, idk The Owl Concludes? The Owl Devours? The Owl Observes?
The Owl Unfurled
The Owl Disposes.
And at the Owl of Our Death
The Owl Fewmets
Something something wise-eyed Athena something.
Something something portent of death as well as wisdom something true wisdom is the acknowledgement of death as an inevitability something.
blah blah death comes for us all blah blah the owl remains blah
I just thought of the True Facts video of owls the entire time I was reading this.
Tying back to another recent article – according to Pier Leone Ghezzi, this is what temptation is for an owl.
This is much closer to what temptation is like for a human being than any of the St Anthony paintings. A hot dog, a fish and a glass of wine, PLUS an old man to do all the sweeping-up for me? Yes please!
I love the way it squints the eyes. and it’s ears seem so much bigger. That’s some shape-shifting there.
this is a hellscape bird, no doubt about it.
I don’t think you need to worry about the lady with the owl, she looks pretty sinister herself. p sure they’re demon lovers.
Sinister anagrams reveal all:
THE OWL ABIDES | BLADE WE HOIST
THE OWL REMAINS | WE HAIL MONSTER
THE OWL | HOWL TE
Um….forget that last one
THE OWL = OH, WELT!
I love Mallory’s fear and suspicion of owls, and I admit she brings pretty good evidence to the table.
Painting One: Princess Leia has become stranded on a distant planet, with only a book and a strange winged creature to guide her…
Mallory read _The Owl Service_ too many times as a youth.
http://www.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/whats-on/online/magi…
No such thing as too many times.
Only good birds — owls, hawks, falcons.
All other birds are assholes.
heard u were talkin shit
peacocks are pretty but they’re still assholes
“Hens embarrass me the way my old Aunt Hattie used to when I was twelve and she still insisted I wasn’t big enough to bathe myself; owls disturb me; if I am with an eagle I always pretend that I am not with an eagle; and so on down to swallows at twilight who scare the hell out of me. You could send an owl into my room, dressed only in the feathers it was born with, and no monkey business, and I would pull the covers over my head and scream.” James Thurber, There’s an Owl in My Room
never have I snorted so sonorously in laughter
I made the mistake of doing a google image search. You are correct but OMG!
Another one for the collection. Toyen’s A message from the forest.
http://www.latribunedelart.com/local/cache-vignet…
peacocks are pretty but they're still assholes
"The owls watch the cats while the cats watch the owls while the mice go by…they're making music to catch mice by."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
That was unexpected and delightful.
am i crazy that most of these images strike me as allegorized antisemitism?
When I was a child I had a set of Old Maid (children’s playing cards) which were illustrated by Racey Helps. Some of them had owls on them. Owls dressed up. Most horrifying and traumatising thing I’d ever seen. (although he did owls-in-clothes in other illustrations they are more figures of fun; these were creatures of nightmare).
I wondered what that animal in the lower right of the last painting was and then realized it was bagpipes…
I like that woman holding an owl paint. She looks so beautiful. I wonder if this is available in every art gallery like http://galeriemichael.com/ ? Would like to purchase one.
I like that woman holding an owl paint. She looks so beautiful. I wonder if this is available in every art gallery like http://galeriemichael.com/ ? Would like to purchase one.
Finally created a login for this site, just a few weeks shy of when it's going to be shut down anyway (DON'T GET ME STARTED, I'M STILL IN DENIAL), after a year of lurking, and commenting nearly a year after this was first posted, JUST BECAUSE I had to say that "Here's a little number we like to call 'Wonderwall'" had me cry-laughing so hard that my husband asked me what was wrong. Thank you.
How about that? You are very welcome. I feel lucky that I decided to skim over some of my favorite articles here. I am glad I was able to contribute to your enjoyment of the site, and also glad you joined up, if only for the swan song. I wish that we'd had more time to goof around. Still, I am glad that you are here with me, Morgstress, here at the end of all things.