Kork-Ease Shawna Leather Tall Boots, $83.98 (were $295) Admit it: this holiday season sucked. As did the entirety of 2015, so far. Did anyone buy you perfect wedge boots? No. No they did not. And now, here you are, stepping in cat puke in your bare feet. What’s wrong with the cat? You’ll figure it out tomorrow. Today is for buying your own damn boots.
Aurora Multicolored String Lights, one dollar per foot with code “APLENTY” (were previously a lot more than that), Don’t you just love these little twinkle lights? They’re delicate and soft and not-too-holidayish. If you’re unimaginative (join the club!) you could stuff a clear vase with them.
MY FAVORITE LIPSTICK, $18 with free shipping (was $22.50), Corset is the very best lipstick color in the whole world. It should NOT be on sale. Nay, we should feel lucky to pay double!
So, there’s an “Agrarian” sale section at Williams Sonoma? Just FYI.
Kimono Sleeve T-Shirt Dress, $31.50 (was $45) This is not a dress. However, it IS a cute tunic to wear over leggings. Even cuter belted. Plus, it comes in four colors. Collect them all!
Double Hand Chain Rings Set, $14 (was $28) All at once, these are too much on anyone except Rihanna. Shared among friends, however?
Peter Thomas Roth Max All Night Repair Youth Restoring Intensive Concentrate, $19 (was $24) Yo, Pete, still not exactly sure what the fuck this is despite the longest product name in history, but I will be purchasing it, so your trick worked…this time.
Rose Floral Vintage-Inspired Apron, $14.99 (was $34.95) This is just an excuse to ask you how many aprons you have, where you got them, and how old they are. To the comments!
Those boots! THOSE LIGHTS.
<melts>
Buying clothes is not something I really do that frequently but this week I treated myself to a collection of clearance off sweaters and camis at Joe Fresh, which netted me $250 worth of clothes for $75 and will have me safely ensconced in “things that are wearable blankets” and “things that are merino wool” for the foreseeable future.
I have one apron, white with little black polka-dots. It is approximately seven years old; I sewed it myself. Although the fabric I used is much older, technically – I bought it at an antique store in Duluth. So who knows how old my apron actually is!
I have ONE apron! That I use for cooking, at least. It is not very old but I bought it in the Halloween section at Target a few years ago and it is skeleton print.
I have made an apron or two for costumes though! They are all boring, but cute in context.
Many aprons is the answer! Some were my grandmas, some I got while thrifting, and one was a gift from my brother and it says stuff about My Drunk Kitchen.
Woot.
Sadly my only apron is a super-functional and not-at-all-cute apron my mother sewed me that has a pattern of chickens and roosters on it. It’s REALLY useful for when I’m cooking something really messy (or frankly, all the time, I am not a clean cook, especially when it comes to tomato products, anything containing curry, oil of any variety, flour and/or chocolate, or basically anything else worth eating), but it is basically a Super Functional Victorian-Style Apron. But not a cute one. A Practical One. It’s nice, but I need to include something Cute in my apron repertoire.
(Hi Toast! I’ve been away for a week-plus and I’m now returning to the internet before I have to go back to my deadly job next week!!!!)
Email me your address and I will make you a cute apron! (btw this is Kyla, sorry I have been such a terrible email correspondent since last year.)
Jane, can I just say how FREAKIN happy I am that you are now a Toastie??? I really missed Bargain Bin.
Also, I need that that tunic dress and the twinkle lights.
Tunic dress *with* twinkle lights. Draped over the shoulders, down the back, down the front, maybe sew a length of lights around the hem.
It’s the perfect New Years outfit!
I can confirm that those twinkle lights are great. They’re on copper wire so they’ll stay wherever you twist them! And they’re tiny and cute! I know this because my jerk mom bought 2 sets and then kept both for herself.
They’re also great for winding through the spokes of bicycle wheels when you do a night time bike ride!
This makes me wish I rode a bike.
Wait, are they battery operated?
They are!
I do this with a string of battery-operated LED lights every year, but not through the spokes, I wrap it around the frame and/or handlebars, and then wrap the battery pack in a plastic bag and tuck it under my saddle and zip-tie it.
I love going places after dark and leaving it locked up outside with the lights blinking. It makes people smile at intersections too.
Someone in the comments there says you can get them elsewhere for less…does anyone know what kind of ‘elsewheres’ they are referring to?
-asked the Canadian, sure she won’t have any of these other options
haaayyyyyy, google “copper twinkle lights” and check out google shopping. hopefully they only show you places that ship to canada!
Ahhhh I wish Bed Bath & Beyond wasn’t sold out. 🙁 ty for the reminder of where to look.
I bought a set of solar-powered LED lights like this off eBay for a couple of dollars (free shipping!) to decorate my balcony with as I don’t have an outdoor outlet! Battery-operated strands are even cheaper, & you can get them in ridiculous lengths for just as cheap!
I have one apron…somewhere. Most of my worldly possessions have been in storage through the last couple of moves, so I’m starting to forget what it is I even own. I think I have a green apron. I think that’s the one that still exists.
When I was a little kid I had a canvas one with primary color paint handprints all over it. My dream apron is a pretty one with pockets so I can put things in the pockets and they are there when I am looking for them. (Note: I will probably still forget the things are in my pockets.)
One hand-me-down. Blue, quilted, faded from literal decades of washes. I can’t even tell sometimes if a stain is new or just a result of ages of cooking.
I have three aprons. One is a couple years old and has “cuts of unicorn” printed on the front in glittery paint. The second was a gift from a friend who lived in DC and is from the International Spy Museum (it has this printed on the front). The third is an apron that I bought at a craft fair when I was probably 10? It’s red calico, has lace around the top bib part, and also has a little cross stitch section of a red bird in a pine tree. It’s also the one I use the most because I love it.
Ooooh, I need a print of that Beware Female Spies notice! It would be a great complement to the “Street Girls Bringing Sailors Into Hotel Must Pay For Room In Advance” sign I’ve had on my favorites list on etsy forever. 😀
I have two aprons – one of hand-dyed batik from the 70s that was my mom’s, and a very handy one which has all this good info like measuring conversions printed UPSIDE DOWN so you can flip it up and read it… which I cannot find. My brother in law has one with the body of Michelangelo’s David on it, so it looks like he’s naked (and marble) while carving roast beast.
That upside down thing is pure genius.
I have a red apron with a faded recipe for apple pie on it, printed right side up. Upside down would have made much more sense, though my upside down reading skills have improved over time.
“And now, here you are, stepping in cat puke in your bare feet. What’s wrong with the cat? You’ll figure it out tomorrow.”
…are you in my apartment right now, Jane Marie?
Also, I bought some of those copper LED lights before Christmas and put them on my bed frame and they are GREAT and whimsical and just a little sexy.
The only thing worse than stepping in cat puke in bare feet is stepping in cat puke with thin socks on. Because you still get cat puke on your foot and have to clean it off, but you also have to change your socks.
Not that this happened to me this morning or anything. And not that I’m bitter about it and needing to vent. Not at all.
(What _is_ wrong with that cat, anyway?)
I have one apron. My FIL embroidered herbs on it, which is adorable, and it is burgundy, which is less so. I never ever ever wear it, but once in a while my sister does when she visits. If I don’t want to get food on my clothes, I’ll just cook naked.
Waaaay too much hot oil splatter on the belly from cooking naked over the years. If I don’t want the apron to clash with my clothes, though, I just wear the apron over no shirt. (My sister made me an amazing neon orange one as a joke about women belong in the kitchen/prison jumpsuit.)
No matter how many times the hot oil splatters me, I never learn my lesson…
It’s not even the big burns that caused me to habit-change. It’s the constant little spray from veggies losing their water, or whatever. Just a continuous sprinkle of uncomfortable on the bottom of the belly curve.
I have a Calphalon heavy-duty duck apron that I got 15 years ago in grad school that is my go-to. It’s covered in food stains. My husband has an awesome Samuel Smith oilcloth apron that he got in a pub when his sister lived in the UK 20 years ago. He still uses it even though the strings are safety-pinned on at this point. We also have some monogrammed aprons that we got as presents; we rarely use them.
I have to say that you can get similar twinkle lights on amazon for cheaper. They are fabulous and make any space happy (including my cubicle at work).
And WHY is it so fascinating to read about other people’s aprons? I don’t know, but it is.
I REALLY wish that kimono-sleeved dress/tunic were available in my size!! I need more clothing that can pass for a tent.
If you like backpacking there is a whole cottage industry of combination Tent/Ponchos
Heh, Mr. LF has some of those I think! I am going more for the can-probably-wear-to-work-if-I-do’t-have-a-meeting genre…
I have a woman’s Wafflehouse apron I inherited from my sister. It doesn’t see much use though because I do not own clothes that I am concerned about staining.
This is literally why I don’t have any aprons.
I am going to be thinking about this sort-of-discounted-but-not-enough chalkboard planter from the Agrarian section all day. I grow tomatoes and marigolds inside during the winter to help fend off the SADs, and my three IKEA tabletop greenhouses are quite crowded, but I am not $119 sure that a wall planter would get the sunlight and warmth that my mini-greenhouses enjoy.
I have 4 aprons: one covered in pink donuts, one in pumpkins, and one in candy canes. All three are frilly at the edges and were given to me my mom, are more decorative than practical. The fourth is simple and grey and given to me by my godmother and does a good job of keeping oil splatters off my tattered pajamas.
Those liiiiiights!! Want so bad!
When the legs fell off of my takeout Chinese food pajama pants I turned the butt (which has a pocket) into an apron, but I never use it & now have no idea where it is. It’s cute, though!
Oh damn, I should wear aprons instead of getting stuff all over myself all the time. I have one that my beloved former roommate got me from Anthropologie maybe 7 years ago and it’s adorable blue-yellow-white flower print with cotton lace trim and a v-neck. I also have a practical black one that I got at a cooking class in Turkey a few years back. It says MUTFARK on it, which is fun (in Turkish it’s a portmanteau of “cuisine” and “difference”, in English it’s… mutfark).
Mutfark makes me giggle, thank you.
The only one I have is a hand-sewn lavender flowered one that makes me look like a 20-something dowdy grandmother. It was made by some lovely Mennonite girls who run a family fabric shop in eastern PA.
Think:
I own one apron, and it is the only one of my aprons from when I was a barista that I didn’t pass on to my also-a-barista brother, because this one has my name embroidered on. It’s sort of embarrassing wearing CORPORATE COFFEE LOGO APRON I guess, but it has nice huge pockets for spatulas and things.
My first non-babysitting job was in a Safeway deli. My mom still has the apron and still uses it, and I quit that job in 1998!
I really thought the “elevated bed” from W-S might be a real bed that was specially made to fulfill my dreams of buying enough of those little four-inch cartons of scotch moss from the plant store to carpet an entire room, or in this case, a bed, and sleep on it. can’t we monster engineer a springy velvet moss of that bright otherworldy Tommyknockers green that will repel all insect life, thrive without sunlight, and let me recline on it every night. I would pay williams-sonoma-home-goods prices for such a thing, I will make that devil’s bargain
Can we talk about dry skin? My skin is always dry in the winter, but this year it’s on a whole nother level. I’ve tried that Aveeno Naturals “Ultra Calming” night cream, and it gave me an irritated rash on my cheeks, and First Aid Beauty (FAB) from Sephora, which stings and burns my skin. WTH? Both of those are supposed to be for sensitive skin (which I never used to have). SO, I’m considering that night cream is what I’m saying.
I’m all about the Eucerin. Eucerin baby eczema lotion, specifically! Babies shouldn’t get all the good lotions.
Seconded the Eucerin red.
I also have very dry skin, it even got dry patches in my hometown (Yucatán, México. VERY HOT place). Now I live in México City and I love Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Cream. They are generous with samples so maybe you could ask for some and see if it irritates you. My sister, who has diva skin and gets rashes easily, didn’t have any problems when she tried it.
I love cera ve cream and facial oils. The huge tub is great for faces and I layer an oil over the top. Right now the Tarte one, but most work about the same, and you can often get less expensive ones at Whole Foods.
Have you though about humidifying your sleeping space? I put my electric kettle in my room, mostly so I could make tea without leaving bed, but it has the side bonus of helping my gross cough and flaky skin. I use this Estee Lauder night creme that my aunt bought me last Christmas, and it seems great. Comes in a little purple tub and smells like violets, doesn’t hurt my skin. I actually just use it in the mornings after I shower though
“make tea without leaving bed” sounds amazing!! Hah. I do use a warm-mist humidifier, because we have forced air heat in our house and I’ve had a terrible cold too. And I drink SO MUCH water.
It’s really the best
I’ve got dry skin–in fact so dry/dehydrated that it used to go in the opposite direction and desperately overproduce oil so that I would have oily shine and dry skin flakes simultaneously. Last winter I fell into a Korean/Asian skincare rabbit hole and although there’s a lot of hype, I also found techniques that really work for me. My personal key changes were:
– washing my face with a gentle cleanser like CeraVe hydrating cleanser, though Trader Joe’s is fine too
– applying a thin layer of a Japanese hyaluronic acid toner while my face is still damp (Hada Labo Gokujun Hyaluronic Lotion Moist, which I got at a local market and lasts FOREVER). This isn’t moisturizing by itself but I follow it up with a thin layer of something else and I think it really helps.
– little bit of something else, exact item depending on how I’m feeling: I like the Hada Labo Shirojyun Milk (also from my Japanese market), also like some Korean essences or creams, or CeraVe’s trusty PM moisturizing lotion.
The overall lesson for me was that tiny amounts of multiple products worked a lot better than a single magic one, though that’s definitely not true for everything or everyone. Good luck!
Ahh yes I’ve been tempted by the K-Beauty craze but was overwhelmed by all the choices. It’s good to have some product recs 🙂
I’ve recently become a huge fan of snail slime moisturizer from Korea. I use Tony Moly and my usually flaking and cracked winter skin has been soft and smooth.
SNAIL SLIME. SNAIL. SLIME. I’m intrigued and also afraid.
I’m also right on that border of D: and “tell me more”.
I usually have somewhat dry, sensitive skin but I’ve just gone through a bout a really dry badness- like a whole side of my face was peely and itchy. The thing that finally helped was putting a thin layer of Vaseline on it for a couple of nights. I left it on in the shower too.
May I suggest looking up both rosacea and seborrheic dermatitis? It’s possible you have a case of one of those that gets set off by winter weather. I have both (go me!) and practically every kind of face moisturizer stings right on my cheekbones.
Anyway, the cerave night cream is very popular and the boots expert night cream is good too. The things to really keep an eye out for are retinols and fragrance even natural fragrances.
I had skin issues a few years ago (dry, along with itchiness and scaliness) and thought it was just a really bad case of dry skin/eczema. When I went to the doctor to get it checked out, he ran a bunch of tests and found I was badly vitamin D deficient. Also, he said that sometimes allergies appear as dry skin and to stop using any scented soaps and detergents.
I started supplementing Vitamin D @4k mg/day (I was actually supposed to get a shot, but that’s another story) and within hours my skin felt better! I don’t know if that was real or the placebo effect, but within a couple days my skin was visibly less red and less dry. I also stopped using scented soaps and detergents at the same time and so I’m not sure if one or both of those things fixed the problem, but… it worked!
Anyhow, just something to consider.
I didn’t realize the two could be related, but considering my daily level of sun exposure (none), this is entirely possible!
I get patches of psoriasis on my face in the winter plus general sensitivity and dryness, so I feel your pain. This is the routine/products that keep all that at bay for me:
1. Paula’s Choice 2% Salicylic Acid BHA Liquid Exfoliant
This stuff is liquid gold. It’s not harsh on my skin and helps keep flakiness at bay like no other. I put this on at night and let it soak in a bit so the other products absorb better.
2. Vitamin D3 Oil
If the salicylic acid toner is my liquid gold, this is my liquid platinum. This is a recent discovery, but I’ve been using this vitamin d oil as a serum and NOTHING has gotten rid of my psoriasis patches and dry skin faster. I just shake out enough drops into my hand to easily spread all over my face.
3. Cetaphil Moisturizing Cream for Dry, Sensitive Skin
Full disclosure: I started using this because Liv Tyler, Actual Elven Goddess, recommended it in a beauty product article she did. It really is the best night cream I’ve ever come across. SUPER moisturizing, never irritating, and the big jar it comes in lasts for-ev-er.
Hope this helps!
I have awful, flaky dry skin in the winter, & the best thing I have found is kiehl’s mdnight recovery concentrate. It’s an oil, comes in an eye dropper bottle, & 3 drops every night has made a huuuugggggggeeee difference. Huge.
Guys, I just got some flats in the post-Christmas sale from Boden. Like, I have no idea where I will wear them, but I LOVE them and in the UK they are 60% off and in the US, the gold ones I got are 70% off. They’re cutesy and delicate and I don’t give a shit because gold specchio leather and beaded velvet prevent me from giving out shits. Oh, and they’re really comfortable and padded. Available in the US of A and UK. FUCK YEAH!
Gold ones: http://www.bodenusa.com/en-US/Womens-Shoes-Boots/…
Beaded ones (I got the black and pear, and love them so much I might go overkill and get the navy too because who needs money?) : http://www.bodenusa.com/en-US/Womens-Shoes-Boots/…
Aprons! I have too many. My great grandmother made a bunch of the frilly skirt-type ones in the 50s, and I have like 5 of them, but since they’re old and getting more delicate, I try not to make sloppy stuff in them. Mainly I make martinis in them, tbh. Speaking of which, it is now 5 o’ clock BST…
Those beaded ones are magically whimsical.
Those are AMAZING. Boden is my replacement for “what J Crew used to be like, ten or fifteen years ago” — cute, well-made, nice but not crazy-expensive, some basics and also some festive things.
I want those black beaded t-straps. But I’ve bought like six pairs of shoes in the last two months and I need to quiiiiiiiiit. 🙁
Yes, the J. Crew updated from ten years ago is EXACTLY what they’re like! These are my first shoes from them, and the quality is great, especially for the price. I was on buying moratorium but the deal was too good and they’re so pretty and look way expensive and lush in person :/ get them. Get themmmmm (I’m the horrible shoe enabler and I have faith that they will get further discounted SORRY).
I have one apron – it is red with a big front pocket and came as a part of a kid’s cooking supply set when I was in elementary school. Because I have grown very minimally since then, it remains my main apron.
Damn it I didn’t need to know there was a Topshop sale running.
That lipstick is fantastic.
I am so weak to twinkly lights, I need to pretend I didn’t see that $1/ft sale. Copper wire + pale pink twinklies like in the photo are the worst weakness, especially when mixed in with my white fabric star strand, bought at Target last winter before they ran out of white and only had the purple/pink/blue circles and diamonds.
my white stars are the best soft glow at night when i’m winding down for bed, though. i had grand plans for buying a bunch and stringing them up where the wall meets the ceiling like a mock-crown moulding, but i ended up just draping it around my 8ft tall bookcase and it’s beautiful.
For a while I had a string of really warm white lights from Ikea woven into my head of my bed frame. It was the perfect amount of light for reading in bed until I was sleepy, or sexytimes.
It is safe to say I have a “thing” for aprons – I have new, “functional” aprons, vintage smock-style aprons (my favorites), decorative aprons (like this half-apron that’s in this sturdy chiffon-type material with a stripey trim – this is my fancy hostess apron that I put on after the party prep is done, just before my guests arrive), and a Christmas apron (mostly decorative – I love it too much to risk getting schmutz on it, so I wear it when I’m hosting holiday parties). I love them all.
I have too many aprons, like 15-20? I worked as a pastry cook and wedding cake maker for a while and everyone kept giving them to me. My favorites for using are black and white striped chef-y aprons with strings that reach around to tie in the front, but my favorite for looking at is an aqua swiss dot half apron my grandmother made
I have two aprons, but really only use one. My sister made it, and it is a Batman apron, and it is magnificent. It is black and has the logo on a patch, and then it has yellow ruffley trim and pockets. It is perfect. I considered switching careers to something involving baking simply so I could wear it every day.
The only apron I own came from a lunch I worked (as a grad student at a food studies symposium) sponsored by Viking Range. It is white and says Viking at the top. Periodically I consider putting it on and constructing a Viking helmet out of aluminum foil to wear while I cook.
Also, I know the time for aggressive Williams-Sonoma hate is before Christmas, but THE AGRARIANS WERE JAGWEEDS, CUT IT OUT WILLIAMS-SONOMA
Can’t wait for the Williams-Sonoma War of Northern Aggression sale!
Totally thought that apron was a dress at first glance. I have one kitchen apron my Mom gave me for Christmas a year ago. It’s made from a man’s button-up shirt and is both reasonably cute and functional. I also have a craft apron I made myself so I would not put my notions down during a sewing project and then wonder where they are. When I’m wearing it I still put my notions down and wonder where they are.
I have a 70s-era floral apron with a duck on it and I use it in the shop while working on cars.
is that a $60 dang slat crate
Ok WAIT. TOAST IS HAIRPIN? Hairpin is toast? I just did a stumble upon this site because Mallory and whoah – had a Wayne’s World moment. Bargain bin FTW and hairpin/toast mashup also FTFW.
I have 1 apron, which I never use, but am super happy to have hanging in my kitchen b/c a friend made it from scraps of wax print fabrics (we were in Peace Corps together and so it is imbued with good memories.)
I have two – one is a long one I made with silly salt and pepper shakers all over it, and the other was a gift from my mom that she found at a vintage shop, I think, but it’s only a skirt-apron and I usually get flour all over my top so it’s not that useful.
I have three aprons: one white one with red ruffles and embroidery from Anthro (it’s for holiday cooking), one half-apron with a cowboy print that my dad bought for me when I moved to California, and the one available here: http://www.ediblegardensla.com/shop.html
(Yes, it is a hundred flippin’ bucks, but did that stop me from also buying one for my sister for Christmas last year? No. No it did not. We both use them all the time and are trying to figure out a way to wear them out of the house.)
The obvs solution is to get another one and sew them together to make a smock/sandwich board. You could wear it over the not-a-dress tunic? Or not? I hear side slits / cut-outs are Still A Thing.
I have one apron that I inevitably forget to put on until after I’ve poofed flour or powdered sugar all over myself. Time to add “Remember to wear apron” to the 2016 resolutions.
I have only one apron (which I really need to use more often; I’m usually lucky about not getting food on my clothes when cooking, but not as lucky as I would like to believe): it’s a Clinton/Gore campaign apron from the 1996 election. It has a nice big pocket and amuses me as a historical item.
I have two aprons. One is a red and white striped basic one from Ikea, which I wear every evening while I make dinner and eat and later to laze around watching television and maybe eat an Almond Roca or four. The other is a plasticky fabric that is silvery and reflects light in different colors, which my mother made. Is basically looks like a disco ball. Therefore, I wear it for festive occasions.
But guys, seriously, I did step in cat puke.
I bought the wiggle dress from last week on a whim and a prayer. If it fits, I will wear it with my Craigslist Louboutins, feel like a siren, and make my husband put on a tie and take me out for steak and oysters.
I have zero aprons. I feel like I have had one or two at some point but ended up getting rid of them when moving? Or maybe an apron exists somewhere in this apartment. But I don’t think so.
i own like 5 aprons, all black or pin striped and very functional. i was a line cook for years and years, though! i despise cute aprons because i’m a jerk/it has been trained out of me via working for other jerks.
Three aprons! One is from Questionable Content and says Baking Is Science For Hungry People, one is some flippy little pink ruffled silk thing my mom bought, and one is a half-apron that was my grandma’s. Honestly, I only wear the QC one because it’s the only functional one.
I have two aprons in the kitchen, one in my studio and the fabric and twill tape for a fourth somewhere in my art and sewing supplies.
Kitchen:
– green canvas apron with pictures of different kinds of pasta that belonged to my grandmother and that I’ve had for at least 17 years.
– dark blue calico with patchwork pattern that my mom made for me 25 ish years ago, for my first apartment. I didn’t wear it for at least 15 years – too girly, too old fashioned without being cool or retro, too annoyed with my mom for not knowing my style better – but I’ve started wearing it more recently and it’s a decent apron. Right now it is covered in powered sugar from making Cinnamon Star cookies.
Studio:
– white canvas apron covered in paint and glue, with the following phrase stenciled on by my dad: “I don’t want to grow up, but if I did, I think I’d make dolls”
– practical, lightweight blue denim fabric, prewashed and neatly folded, waiting for me to turn it into an apron.
I wish I knew what happened to my apron. :/ I made it in sewing class, in high school. It was navy cotton, and it had a grey heart on it as a pocket.
I have four aprons! Two were sewn for me by my mother, one I picked up at a thrift shop, oh and one I bought from Dinosaur Barbecue as a gift for the boy.
I want to wear twinkle lights in my hair. So, so much.
First time commenting, and it’s completely to say that I stopped what I was doing (aka, supposedly working) and bought those dang boots. I wanted them intensely, and I don’t know if it was due to the boot, or due to the sale.
But you got me, Toast…
I’m definitely getting the lights and am CRAVING the apron, even though I already have a delightful owl-pattern apron. …This one has more coverage, though.
I own one apron, which I made as a “decorative item” for the kitchen, which has barstools whose seats are upholstered in the same fabric. It hangs on the side of my refrigerator, hiding a scratch and collecting dust, and has been actually used a grand total of zero times. But it has a ruffle! And a bow!
Everyone who has ever given me an apron as a gift has turned out to be an absolute shit. I think it’s a warning sign.
I have a shitty plain white foodservice apron that I bought on ebay. I only wear it when I’m going hard and cooking all day prepping for a party or something.
Two aprons. The first is pink and frilly and was purchased for me by my ex-BFF about 4 years ago mainly as a joke. The second is black and very functional purchased 2 years ago because why did I want to wear something pink and frilly that was a gift from a toxic ex-friend?
Now I wear both or neither depending on my mood.
Oh also a bagful of old Starbucks aprons collected over 5 years of working there and never returned because the logo changed. Don’t often wear those.
i have a black cotton apron with black & white polka dot trim.
it came with a strand of plastic pearls attached at the neckline but those have long since broken. i now wear my (faux) pearls with it and swan around the kitchen like a fantastical 1950s homemaker (except with more sweat and swearing.)
it has a pocket that is the exact size of my iphone which is most convenient as that is where my recipes reside and what i use as a cooking timer.
said apron works perfectly well when i’m clothed but is not wide enough up top when i’m not. now that the trim is beginning to get frayed, i’m going to finally widen the top and fix the trims all at the same time. and i’m planning to upgrade from polka dot bias tape to over-the-top polka dot ruffles. it will be glorious.
I own one apron but it is FUCKING GREAT! My mom made it for me and it’s got:
-Pockets
-Buttons on the waistband where a dish towel buttons on to the front
-An eggplant print that looks just like the one Dolce & Gabbana used one year (http://www.thefashionmuse.com/dolce-gabbana-ss-collection/)
I have a cute grey and orange plaid apron from Target that I love, but my 17-year-old brother-in-law just bought me a Star Trek TNG apron for Christmas! Science blue! So cute! I love that little weirdo for buying me such a good gift.
Two aprons! One I bought all the way back in high school and it has “I buy cookbooks for the pictures” in white across black cotton, and it’s FILTHY with food. (I do buy cookbooks for the pictures, though.) The other is a Marimekko apron, linen with a sort of blue chambray pocket and a yellow wheat print, which was my reward for quitting my last full-time job. I also cook naked on the reg, so hot oil belly spatters are a thing in my house.
I own zero aprons and never have
Also my GOD those boots. Those are the boots that are worn after waging a long and bloody coup de’tat and then standing on the balcony of your new whatever-title-you-so-choose palace in your full military uniform and surveying all you shall now rule with an iron fist.
I have exactly one apron that I stole or was supposed to keep or wasn’t supposed to keep…? from the summer after my freshman year of college when I worked as a hostess for Polly’s Pies and Tasty Foods.
Why did they make the hostess wear an apron? Who knows! But I’ve got one.
My apron is a Williams-Sonoma men’s Captain America apron my mom bought me a couple years ago because it was on sale.
It goes down past my knees and I wrap it around to tie in the front. I like it because it gives you that little girl in mom’s apron feeling while also providing almost complete coverage in case you need to wrestle a pot of spaghetti sauce or something.
I own seven aprons. Three are utilitarian-yet-cute from Ikea (navy and white stripes, pink gingham and flowers, a Scandinavian kind of burgundy and turquoise Art Nouveau thing), one is an April Cornell vintagey flowery one, and the last three were hand-embroidered beautifully in Yemenite style as an insult gift from my great-grandmother to my grandmother, her daughter-in-law. My great-grandmother was a linguist and did not like my grandmother (who is incidentally a toxic individual), so this was her saying, “here, you brainless twit, use these in the kitchen because you’re not useful anywhere else.” My grandmother used to be a concert pianist and was offended, as was the plan. My mother had them, and I kept them because they’re beautiful. And the story amuses me, even though it’s awful. Unfortunately, I’d never feel comfortable using them, because they’re heirlooms and because they’re decorative waist aprons and don’t cover my boobs, where most of my cooking accidents happen.
I own zero aprons, but when I was home at Christmas I found out my mom still uses the poison frog print apron that I made in Home Ec class in middle school almost 20 years ago.
Hah, all I’ve been buying in the sales has been stuff for the cat. She’s particularly loving her new ceiling height cat tree.
Hah, all I've been buying in the sales has been stuff for the cat. She's particularly loving her new ceiling height cat tree.
I have three aprons. They're heavy cotton, utterly unadorned, hefty craftsman style, one each in black, hot pink, and burnt gold. They came from a discount store in Southampton, and serve for both frying adventures in the kitchen and art use.
People sometimes give me cutesy flowered ones or vintage ones with ruffles and I'm afraid they go straight to the donation pile. I do not cutesy, I do not flower, I do not vintage unless it's vintage Comme des Garcons at an amazing price in Value Village because someone didn't recognise what it was (true story). And anyone who would look at me and think for one second that I'd make an exception to that for anything is… probably not looking directly at me.
One apron. Blue, cotton, pocket with funny / quirky cats on it. My sister-in-law in Dublin likes to mail me linens for the holidays, because they’re cheap to mail, and this was her best gift in years. (Though there’s also a set of white tea towels with monochromatic prints of typical Irish scenes that rocks.)