Cock-and-Balls Cookie Cutter, $.49 (was $1.25) It’s shrinkage. You know the second these cookies hit the oven they’ll look more “normal.”
Revel Asher Flats, $16 with code “EXTRA10” (were $34.99) So, Target sells creepers now. Good to know.
Velvet Dungarees, $12.99 (were $29.99) Your average fashion blogger would tell you about the time she stumbled upon a Zara Kids standalone store in a creepy Paris suburb and went on a clearance rack rampage bagging ten items for under $100 USD. But I’m not your average fashion blogger.
Kate Spade Quote Unquote Studs, $24 (were $48) Any puzzling jewelry that forces people to get closer to your face is great jewelry.
American Rag Straight-Leg Jeans, $26.99 (were $59.50) The only reason these are on sale, according to reviews, is that they’re more like jeggings than jeans, but are still beloved. You’ve been warned!
ULTA Sonic Advanced Facial Cleansing System, $46.40 (was $58) So bored of Clairsonics.
Devon Lace Safety Short, $9.99 (was $14) At first, I only planned to include this item because I have a friend named Devon. But now I’m more concerned with the name. What gives, Urban?
Butterfly Sleeves Empire Waist Kaftan, $35 This is the non-maternity version of my favorite maternity kaftan. The whole shop is bomb, though.
kre-at Beauty 24 Karat Gold Lashes, $70.80 (were $295) What even are these, sleep aids? So heavy, man. They come in silver, too.
why did you post that caftan today, on payday, but alas I must do other things with my money such as eating
you evil wretch
I neeeeeeed that caftan… I would float around the house all day in it. Alas, I’m in Canada and it won’t happen.
Edit – $60 cad isn’t *that* bad and the whiny wench in me demands one.
Also, those jeans look suspiciously like skinny style to me.
does “straight-leg” mean something completely different in women’s pants or is american rag just really bad at naming things?
Love those Kate Spade earrings, and LIVID at the luxury goods industry’s (understandable) aversion to currency arbitrage as I can’t see anything on that site in USD.
The Kate Spade site? I see it in US dollars, and I’m in Canada.
With so many currencies tanking recently, buying from a site that insists on the local currency could be a benefit if your cc or PP is set up from a US account.
The Canadian loonie for example has dropped from 83 cents US in 2016 to 68 cents today. (It was 72 cents on January 1).
Ah! I love silkandmore – I bought three pregnancy/breastfeeding kaftans last month and I love them so much and I also love that I can use them post-pregnancy as they have BUTTONS and are one size fits all. The only possible improvement would be pockets but pocket positioning on caftans would be difficult, I’m guessing. The fabric is pretty and I still look like myself (I generally just wear shirtwaist dresses anyway) but preggers, A++++++++++++ recommend fully.
Glad to hear it! I bought a friend a caftan from them and never heard whether it was good.
I bought the ubercliche flowered bridesmaid robes from silkandmore, and not only were they inexpensive and simple and beautiful, the owner handwrote a note to me. The note was what sealed it. The shop is Valkyrumba-approved.
Thank you for mentioning the bridesmaid robes! I had been thinking about getting them but i doubt my wedding-planning-addled brain would have made the connection to the kaftan photo. Now I know where to look!
oh, man, those panties look hella uncomfy
Life is to short for uncomfortable underwear.
I’m having a flashback to a party when I was a bridesmaid. The maid of honour decided we were going to have one of those MLM schemes for lingerie. It was the seller’s first party. Because she was just starting out, there were only a few samples to try on. Other than the ugly flannel nightie in L, all the samples were S and M. So while the petite girls were trying on the lingerie, I pored over the catalogue trying to find the cheapest thing I could get away with buying.
I ended up paying $30 for the scratchiest pair of lace panties ever invented. And this was the 80s.
That caftan is absolutely beautiful! On a similar note, can I get some recommendations for maxi dresses for short people? (Preferably not online-only because I love trying stuff on.)
I would be interested in knowing this, as well.
I have good luck with Max Studio dresses in XS. I can find them cheap at Marshalls or TJ Max.
Thirded! WAIT…what about wearing a modest or, if possible, a ridiculously high platform shoe under the caftan? Alas, then you can only wear The Caftan with The Shoe (plus, nevermind coordinating style and colour, oof!).
Athleta often carries some of their maxi dresses in petite sizes.
Apparently that caftan is sized by height and I could not be more excited about that.
Email silks and more! I have a (non-maternity) caftan from there and they’re made to order, so when I got mine I was able to request the waist be a bit higher due to my bizarrely-shaped torso. I’m pretty sure if you asked she would make a shorter maxi for you.
You bet your ass I bought those studs. I’m teaching a writing course, I NEED them!
I bought them too! I haven’t worn earrings in YEARS (except now I have just put in some studs to make sure my ears are still pierced). But I can’t wait to teach in them.
i bought me that caftan.
I’m pretty sure I’m going to throw out my entire wardrobe and replace it with a selection of caftans now. They look insanely appealing. Can an overweight mid-40s suburbanite get away with wearing nothing but caftans and flannel PJs?
Let’s try!
Yes. I started last summer and haven’t looked back.
I want to give you a million thumbs up for taking that beautiful caftan plunge!
The aqua is so lovely, but I went with the gray background. If they are as fabulous as everyone says, I will be back for more. Oh yes, I will.
i went with bright yellow. and if it’s a good fit, yes. many more. one-in-every-color has never been a bad idea.
If you ever need to make cock and balls cookies that look slightly more like a cock and balls than that cookie cutter but you also can’t find an actual cock and balls cookie cutter you can use one shaped like a dogbone and trim off the nubby bits on one side. That is my proudest lifehack and I’m glad to finally have to opportunity to share it.
I was given a set of science-y cookie cutters for Hannukkah one year but had to cease using the test tube one because it looked far more like a penis than a test tube and the lab was VERY confused by those cookies.
Your username is appropriate!
Goodness, I saw a tweet today that was a photo of a bone-shaped dog-toy that had been chewed so much at one end it looked like a dildo. Two lots of dog-bone-turns-into-cock-and-balls stories in one day eels statistically unlikely?
I THOUGHT THAT COOKIE CUTTER WAS A BUNNY OMG.
Those creepers looked super comfy until I went to the site and saw them in plaid. We get it, Target, you’re hip now! You sell fabric animal heads! Your listerine is plaid! You’re down with the youths!
GET OFF OUR LAWNS TARGET.
I thought it was supposed to be a pear.
I was thinking cherries maybe.
Hovering over the link, it’s cherries.
HOORAY, for once my brain didn’t start out in the gutter.
I want that kaftan so much but not as much as I want to buy several pretty new lipsticks and a haircut.
Not going to lie, I love gold eye makeup with a fierce and unyielding passion, and if those falsies weren’t grocery money + magazine money for a week, I’d be ALL OVER THEM.
There’s a costume shop near me that sells eyelashes in all kinds of colors and shinies for about 10% of that. Someday I will go in and buy them ALL and wear them for teaching.
I bought a liquid Kat Von D gold eyeliner at Sephora that I layer adjacent to my normal black cat eye and when I blink my eyes look like they are made of liquid 14 karat magic. Burly manly men get drunk and ask me all sorts of probing questions about my eyeliner. It’s great.
SOLD!
Be careful with Target shoes; they are always, always much less comfortable than they look. I’ve only had two pairs that were bearable – one pair of low-heeled sandals that were never the same after I wore them in the ocean, and one pair of Chucks that I lined the shit out of with gel pads.
Well, where can I get grownup velvet overalls for 12.99??? Tell me Jane, I need them!!!
I will hunt them down….(probably Free People, tho)
OMG I AM PSYCHIC http://www.freepeople.com/shop/stubborn-love-slou…
There is no way in a million years I can pull this look off, but if it’s real silk velvet might feel so nice that I wouldn’t care?
I’m unemployed currently. I wonder what sort of job I could get where I could both afford $128 velvet overalls and also could wear them to work?
Working at a Free People retail store, is probably the only thing.
Caftan site is amazing. They also have super cute and affordable silk robes. I want one, but I am nothing if not a completionist, so now I just have to click through all 36 pages of silk robes. Life is hard.
Agreed on the amazing – I think they’re made of cotton, though.
She was 2000 klicks out when her safety shorts failed. A low tremor ran through her body as the ablative shielding disintegrated into tatters. Klaxons howled. She whispered a final message into the comm pickup, then leaned back to await the end. Her shorts were glowing cherry-red; when the moment came, only her thermally reflective gold eyelashes would survive, twin points of cosmic dust, two vanishingly brief shooting stars to wish on. She gazed out at the lambent blue glow of Earth’s horizon, the planet curving up to embrace her. This is my home, she thought. I’m coming home.
I love you.
This.was.AWESOME.
This is everything I never know I needed.
please write a book. if you HAVE written books, please direct me toward where I can buy them. <3
Your enjoyment makes me happy, thank you.
However, something tells me that a high-concept SF thriller about malfunctioning spaceworthy Japanese fetish garments, incorporating secondhand pop references to a David Bowie album, would not exactly fly off the shelves, I suppose stranger projects have been launched by Kickstarter, though.
Mainly I just needed some form of therapy to work me past the concept of “safety shorts,” which I just learned about today. Do they really make anybody feel safer? How is this not a complete scam? “Beware of creepy men trying to take pictures of your panties! Here, protect yourself by wearing these EVEN LARGER panties. Form-hugging and translucent, surely they would hold no erotic appeal for anyone.”
You’ve never read William Gibson? Particularly his ‘Blue Ant’ trilogy which deals with trends and fashions.
This caftan is on its way to me. I’ve been looking for non-hideous lounge-wear for ages. Someone find me a lanai.
I literally gasped out loud when I saw that caftan and I am pretty sure I MUST have it.
And 10 minutes later, I have ordered it.
Jesus Christ, I want that caftan.
I basically wear them when swing dancing in a swirly skirt.
I really loved that Kaftan
I really loved that Kaftan
Jane Marie, your article on depression and pregnancy is luminous and moving. Thanks for the link. (and the caftan in lake photo is gorgeous!)