Advice Things You Know
Nicole Cliffe asks readers for useful advice, provides some of her own.
Nicole Cliffe
Advice 
Books Emily Books Book Club: King Kong Theory
A chat with Emily, of Emily Books, on King Kong Theory.
Advice Close-Reading “Dear Prudie”
Nicole Cliffe engages in close-reading Dear Prudie advice from Slate.
Humor The Bees Offer a Mystical Journey of Self-Discovery
Bees teach lessons about self-discovery and empathy.
Personal Stories European Men Gone Wild, and a Digression
On European ritual fertility costuming.
Books This Week in Reading: Canadian Ghosts
Books about Canadian ghosts and history.
Feminism Continuing the Conversation on White Allies
Jessie-Lane Metz on her article about the issues of white allies in a race-based conversation.
Music Actually the Saddest Girl
Describing the unbearable sadness of Stars' "Elevator Love Letter" girl.
Fitness Feel the Burn: Goals and Bulkiness
Nicole Cliffe talks about goals and expectations for your strength-training regimen.
Personal Stories Royal Baby Watch Level OT-VIII and Bonus Hidden News Item
Breaking News: the changeling on CNN's copyediting desk has drawn the circle and begun the incantation.
Books This Week in Reading: Jeff Himmelman and Robert Sawyer
Reading with Nicole in rural Canadian mode.
Poetry “Born Today”: A Poem for the New Prince
Bewildered-looking baby,
I have wished you something
None of the hangers-on would:
Not the usual stuff
About being majestic,
Or running off a spring
Of dignity and poise -
The Queen and Philip wish you that,
And should it prove possible,
Well, you're a dutiful boy.
Humor The World If Caber-Tossing Had Been the Scottish Sport That Made It Big
Business Jargon:"He really came in at 12:00 on that pitch meeting.""Craig, you let the bottom end fall towards you on this one.""Oh, he'll toss it if someone else carries it.""Jane has a 87% mindset and a 63% track record."Country Club Culture:Women, Jews, and people of color are permitted to play, but must first engage in a ceremonial foot-stomping from an actual ginger-from-birth Scotsman. The dress code mandates steel-toed boots and visor-less hats, in addition to kilts (sedate tartans preferred, unless patrilineal descent from a clan with a more showy tartan can be documented.) Traditionally, no one may assist the player in handling the caber in competition, but high net worth individuals may choose to have their own caber brought to the grounds in a bespoke 20ft long caber bag, carried by a manservant. Needless to say, airlines have dedicated oversized baggage areas for those who travel with their cabers. Cabers stained clear or a dark walnut are popular, cabers painted in pastels are considered acceptable for women, cabers in bright colors are permitted only on public grounds. All drinks served with miniature log swizzle sticks. Caddies extensively trained in first-aid techniques, with a focus on blunt force trauma and splinter removal. Jewish country club weddings held under chuppahs made from cabers. Dangerous WASP weddings held under an honor guard of male relatives balancing cabers over the aisle.SkyMall:Caber paperweights. Monogrammed sleeveless caber-tossing shirts and knee socks. Cabers with inspirational slogans: "You have to toss a few on your foot before you get to the Highland Games."
Books This Week in Reading
I'm really excited to talk about this Helen Garner novel, The Spare Room, but first, let's talk about how I came to be reading it. I was traveling with my best friend and her parents, which is the sort of thing you usually do in high school with people whose parents can afford to go nice places and yours can't, so they bring you along, and you feel grateful and awkward and young, but this wasn't like that, this was another kind of thing, which is when you and your best friend are really genuinely fond of your respective parents and welcome the opportunity to be with them as adults.And we were driving around, and my best friend's family is Australian, while I am Canadian, so you can imagine the elaborate system of unnecessary apologies and "please, it's my turn to take the middle seat," "are you comfortable? yes! I'm quite comfortable" Commonwealth twitterings we engaged in, and the entire experience was lovely, and then we fell into talking about books. We were talking first about Paul Theroux, the travel writer who wrote my favourite super-weird book, Sir Vidia's Shadow, about how he and V.S. Naipaul used to be besties, and then had a Falling-Out as a result of (among literally a thousand dishily-discussed things) Theroux finding all the books he'd written and then personally inscribed for Naipaul for sale in a London shop. It is seriously a book-length bitch session, and I could not love it more. I think I've mentioned this somewhere before, but I actually ran into two OTHER friends of Naipaul, who were, no joke, the "best friends from childhood" that Vanessa Bayer and Fred Armisen play on SNL, and asked them within four seconds of being introduced if they had read Sir Vidia's Shadow, and they said: "Oh, of COURSE. We all have! Thousands of times! But we tell him we haven't, and we hide it when he comes over."V.S. Naipaul: your friends are reading Paul Theroux's book about you behind your back.
Fitness Introducing Our Fitness Coverage
I was recently on a flight, leafing through a copy of The Box, an unfortunately-named magazine for people who do Crossfit, or, like myself, have done Crossfit but are extremely injury-averse, and instead simply incorporate many of the good parts of Crossfit into their own training. I like to say "training" in reference to working out, because it makes you feel like you're working towards something, as opposed to just being a rat on a treadmill. Me, I pretend that one day a wealthy madman is going to approach me and say "I've been watching you train, and I'd like to hire you to kill James Bond." Whatever gets you to lift weights, you know? Whatever works.But, anyway, I'm on the plane, and I'm reading The Box, because Annie Thorisdottir is on the cover, and I find her Inspirational for her strength and chutzpah. Now, she's not going to be in the Crossfit Games this year, having fucked up her back (I am not blaming Crossfit, partly because they will show up and yell at me, but also because accidents happen, although this is also why I decided to max out my squat when it hit just shy of double my bodyweight and why I do not do a ton of Olympic weightlifting in a competitive environment). They went ahead with the shoot anyway, and she looks as pictured.And the woman next to me on the plane, who I know was coming from a place many women come from, after decades of being slowly consumed by the expectations and standards for how women ought to look, said, in the conspiratorial tone unique to criticizing the bodies of others:"I would NOT want to look like her, would you?"
