How To Talk To Babies About Postmodernism:

BABY: [knocks plate off of table]
ME: that’s right
in postmodernism we reject the notion of ‘totality’

You know the dangers of such latitude of plan in any but the best conducted Journal!

Life is a cup! And what does one do with a cup? ONE DRINKS FROM IT FULL-THROATEDLY AND WITHOUT HESITATION, YOU MOUSE!

It's here, it's really here, and it's called Dark Buddhism!

What is the opposite of a dirtbag? A li'l sweetheart.

"The only real currency...is friendship."

"It's possible to admire someone else's financial system without questioning your own."

You are a fool if you believe there is more than one man named Jonathan. There is one Jonathan living at the earth's core, with many appendages.
Jason Schwartzman is not named Jonathan, but he is a Jonathan; you know this to be true

Are you ever intimidated by the academy? Do you ever feel like the single Philosophy 101 course you took in college is an insufficient recommendation for you to hold your own during dinner-party arguments? "Ooh, I don't know any Latin, I probably don't stack up too great compared to scholars of the past." Okay, well, stop feeling inadequately prepared at once.

Men say “please” and “thank you” out loud, while a polite woman will always do so only with her eyes.

POINT: "Say to yourself in the early morning: I shall meet today ungrateful, violent, treacherous, envious, uncharitable men...I can neither be harmed by any of them, for no man will involve me in wrong, nor can I be angry with my kinsman or hate him; for we have come into the world to work together."
COUNTERPOINT: Honestly, fuck you.

"Whatever the Free Market ordains, is full of wisdom. What we ascribe to fortune, happens not without a presiding nature, nor without a connection and intertexture with the things ordered by the Market. From the Market all things flow."