Friends, I am not often wrong, but when I am, I do not try to run from my mistakes. I square up to them and make what is wrong right. This week, I believed I had discovered a video showing a bumblebee giving live birth. I showed it to you in good faith.
I would like to take this opportunity to apologize if you were offended by my recent behavior. Sadly, there is no way to determine whether you have in fact been offended at this time, as the science just isn't there yet. We may never know if you were offended or not -- in fact, can it truly be said that we can ever know anything?
1. Instead of taking a clear-eyed view of your recent behavior, base your apology on how angry someone else is. The more upset they are, the more wrong you were. Conversely, if the person you're trying to apologize to insists that it's "not a big deal" or it "happens all the time," you can't have done something wrong. Remember, the goal of apologizing is to keep someone from being angry, because you're responsible for how…
Thank you for attempting to contact us with your criticism. Your criticism is a valued part of the creative process here. Unfortunately, we are currently closed to criticism, with no plans to reopen to criticism anytime in the immediate future. We are closed to both online and in-person criticisms. Please note that calls about the status of your pending criticism will not be answered. Thank you for your interest in providing us with criticism; we…
To my elementary school teachers: I'm sorry for crying all the time. I cried so much that, in second year, my school report read that I "burst into tears at the first sign of trouble". It's because I was going through childhood totally confused, of course, but it can't have been fun for you to deal with as educators.
I'm also sorry that when our school portraits were delivered, I scrawled
Please send your etiquette-based questions to advice@the-toast.net, subject line: “Ms. Proprietypants.” The archives can be found here. On the subject of apologies, since y'all have been on the subject lately: what's your policy on apologies for epic bad behaviour like 10 years after the fact? I just had a debate about this with someone who suggested it's actually selfish when you contact someone you've lost touch with for…
1. Think about how much it's not really your fault. 2. Think about what a beautiful apology you would offer them, if they were here now, and they said how sorry they were first, in the sort of way where as soon as you see one another's faces you both know how sorry you both are (but they're more sorry because they're even more wrong than you), so your apology would be really more of a…
Hi. I'm Ani DiFranco. You may remember me from such things as singing like a wizard trapped inside an aged toad is trapped inside of my throat and being allergic to capital letters. I'm here to talk to you about something that's very close to my heart today: writing songs on old slavery plantations.
Your feet. You used to be so fast. God, you were fast. Remember that? And it felt like nothing, how fast you were. You'd run anywhere. Well, that's gone now. Your hands. The first time the two of you held hands--the first time that anyone, ever, had tried to hold your hand, the first time anyone had expressed the slightest bit of interest in what your hands might feel like--it was like every one of…
