Liz Watson's previous work for The Toast can be found here.

There is no article of male clothing more maligned in contemporary online culture than the fedora. Once the favored hat of gangsters and sexy archaeologists, around 2011 the fedora came to be internet shorthand for a Certain Kind of Dude: a basement-dwelling, Cheeto-eater who loathes his contemporaries and seeks refuge in TV and video games. A guy who believes in the

…

oh you do go on tell me what else you like about my hat so many places to wear the hat so many enemies to show up begone can you not see the size and magnificence of our hats how dare a man with a hat that size speak to us no, Marguerite now that it is I who wears the largest hat it is I who…

Previous entries in the series can be found here.  hey how do you pronounce “Soc” What? i mean is it like “sock” because it looks like that’s how you’d say it but in my head I think of it as being pronounced “soash” huh like rhymes with cloche I guess that makes sense why do I even know what a cloche is what kind of a gang is this what do…