Women Wearing Spectacular Hats In Art History

by Mallory Ortberg · October 8, 2014

hats10

oh you do go on
tell me what else you like about my hat

hat27

so many places to wear the hat
so many enemies to show up

hats3

begone
can you not see the size and magnificence of our hats
how dare a man with a hat that size speak to us

hats1

no, Marguerite
now that it is I who wears the largest hat
it is I who must go first
and you who must go behind

hat24

oh don’t look like that
you know that sometimes when I find a hat big enough I like to take my shirt off and pull apart a ball of twine
don’t act so surprised

1982.1.10.4

we don’t blame you for looking
but you have to stop doing it, just the same

hat26

who is this hatless person
why is he talking to us like we’re the same kind of people

hat22

the hat was dyed in the blood of other, lesser hats

hat19

you’re welcome

hat23

i don’t need to smile with a hat like this

hat20

this hat could be bigger
its fine i guess
its giant and gold and thats fine
but it could still be bigger

28

darling just leave me alone with the hat

hat18

suddenly the thought came to her
another hat
“Then I’ll be happy,” she thought
“Then I’ll be happy at last”

hats17

another layer
another layer of scarves for the hat
madam, we can make it no bigger
the hat will not hold
I SAY IT WILL HOLD

hats15

i love your hat
oh, thanks awfully
i like your
headband
no, it’s a hat
this is a hat too
sure
i guess we could call it that
if you want to

hats14

get lower
i want your bare head further away from my hat

hats9

of course
the wider the hat
the further away from her everyone else would have to stand

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165 Comments

  1. aravisthequeen +129

    Mallory, you are a thing of beauty and a joy for ever.

    I wish hats never truly went away. I would love to be able to consider a “smart hat” part of any reasonably-dressed outfit. Also gloves. I wish I could wear a smart hat (to look charming) and gloves (because the world is gross) without looking like I wore a costume. Hats, come back for everyday, I LOVE YOU. You know what else is fascinating? “Hats” and “Hairstyles” on wikipedia. Holy crap, there is SO MUCH bound up in these things we carefully balance on top of our heads.

    1. rallisaurus +30

      I bought myself a fancy milliner-made hat a few years ago when I got a big raise. I’ve still only worn it like twice. It’s kind of like a bonnet/cloche thing and it’s super rad. But it’s so hard to pull off! I usually just stare at it on my hat stand.

      1. wallsdonotfall +45

        I 100% unironically wish bonnets would come back, or that I could figure out a way of wearing one without looking like I got high on too many Amish romance novels.

        2. Megano! +20

          Bonnets are a pretty big part of the Japanese Lolita fashion subculture. I’m just saying.

          (I have a collection of vintage hats and I just…wear them anyways??)

          1. SmrtCookie +6

            I kept a bunch of my incredibly stylish grandma’s vintage hats and Iooooove them but almost never wear them. I really need to get them out!

        3. MmeSiniichulok +2

          I KNOW, RIGHT???! When I was seven and obsessed with Laura Ingalls Wilder, someone gave me TWO bonnets. Even though I wore some pretty weird stuff in those days (brought up weird plus only had access to hand-me-downs between 10 and 70 years old), I instinctively knew that I couldn’t really pull off the bonnets in public in small-town working-class NJ. So I just stared at them longingly a lot.

          1. MmeSiniichulok +2

            By rights I should have been a Gothic Lolita, but this was pre-widespread Internets in that area, sadly, so I had no idea that such a thing existed.

    2. anninyn +26

      I like hats. I wear them out, sometimes.

      I am just sad that my favourite big sunhat got all moudly from damp in my old house. It was HUGE. Kept the sun off my delicate irish face. And kept over people away from me. It was wider than my shoulders, and purple, and a thing of glory.

    3. mbculver +55

      I would love to rock a smart hat and gloves every day, if only they made nice hats for freakishly large melon heads like mine. *sobs, with freakishly large head in hands*

      1. perianwen +18

        *ditto* Why are all women’s hats so tiiiiiiny?
        I am going to buy a men’s derby hat this year, though, and wear it as much as I can.

        1. ThatOtherWench +27

          Men’s hats are sold in sizes! There are numbered sizes, but also, there are lots sold as “small, medium, large, XL”.

          Women’s hats are sold in BULLSHIT “ONE SIZE”, because of course our heads never vary enough to warrant, oh idunno, a “small/medium” vs “large/XL”.

          1. perianwen +16

            Women are mere cardboard cutouts of each other, after all. Just like that Twilight Zone episode about the people having surgery to look like one of two options!

          2. mbculver +5

            Men’s hats! I am going to check them out, without getting my hopes up too high because my head is bigger than my dad’s.

          3. MmeSiniichulok +4

            It’s because men have larger brains, DUH.

            (I just made my migraine return because I rolled my eyes so hard while typing that.)

      3. sorrycassandra +4

        This is one of the major reasons I learned to knit. I am now well supplied with beanies and such that fit my giant noggin, but I have dreams of making, like, a felted cloche and wearing it ALL THE TIME, because that could be a very smart hat.

        1. bookwormV +3

          Me too. I tried to put the hood of my raincoat up the other day, because it was raining, and it just went straight over my eyes. (My boyfriend’s head is huge, though; we look ridiculous next to each other.)

    4. TheRenleigh +14

      I can take or leave hats (or maybe I would take them if I didn’t have a giant head) but yes, GLOVES. I long for a fancy occasion to arrive so that I can wear a long gown and gloves up to my elbows, at least.

        1. TheRenleigh +2

          Hmm, I hadn’t actually considered the issue of finding gloves that fit. I’ve worn some as part of a costume in plays and they never quite fit the length of my fingers, but I assumed they’d still be easier to find than a hat.

          1. houblonchouffe +2

            Ugh, the gloves I’ve had to wear on stage have been COMICALLY short in the fingers (ie, “sure, that seam totally goes on my first knuckle, right?”). Honestly, even regular winter gloves are usually way, way too small for me. The last pair I bought was a men’s XL and they were still verging on too snug.

          2. Tikabelle +2

            This is a supporting reason I gave for moving to an area of California where it’s never cold enough for gloves.

        2. MilesofMountain +5

          I have huge hands but I LOVE leather gloves. On the plus side, it means the ones I get fit snugly which looks good, on the minus side, I eventually split the leather open. I am still mourning the cobalt blue leather gloves that I had for years that actually fit, but that I got wet and dried out too fast last winter and now are miniature-sized.

        3. bookwormV +4

          I wish gloves were small enough for my child-sized hands and didn’t just droop off the ends of my fingers. (I have some long black gloves from Claire’s Accessories, which are possibly too childish to be properly formal, but at least fit snugly.)

          1. aliciafoodycat +2

            Consider vintage gloves – there often seem to be deadstock vintage gloves on ebay for pennies, and they are TINY. I have bought them in the past for a friend with wee paws.

      2. aravisthequeen +10

        I wore elbow-length gloves to a high-school dance! And yes, I looked like a tool. But felt very elegant.

    5. redheadedwolf +12

      THE WORLD IS SO GROSS OMG. Also many people are gross. Who knows that one Kate Beaton comic about Chopin’s horror at the idea of accidentally touching another person today, when he can’t find his gloves?

  4. eliana23 +23

    More scarves will hold! That is my favorite hat by far. And something I will be saying throughout my day.

  5. ArsenioB_Ham +79

    the blood of lesser hats

    Indeed.

    Also, I totally want the dress of the woman with the enemies. I would not be her enemy. I would be her frenemy. Pretend to befriend her, then steal that awesome blue dress.

  6. catweazlol +13

    I am really concerned that all those hats perched on top of headwraps (?) (beehive turbans?) (whatever those are?) are going to tumble off as soon as the paint is dry.

  7. Es_Petal +26

    I want to be the second lady when I grow up. However many enemies I had, it’d be worth it.

  8. plspassthePinot +67

    i would be UNSTOPPABLE if fascinators perched on the side of your head w a short veil were a thing I could wear on a daily basis

    1. plspassthePinot +17

      also stockings w garters; although i suppose there’s no one stopping me from doing that now…

      1. RoseCamelia +22

        Stockings with garters are great … in theory. Or when being very still. When not leaving the house, or the room in which you donned them.

        1. plspassthePinot +2

          really? this is valuable information. I actually have some in a drawer somewhere and have never taken them out of the package.

      2. themnemosyne +11

        I am interested in your ideas and would heartily like to subscribe to your newsletter.

        Bring back the fascinators and garters
        hell yeah.

      3. PonyAlong +8

        I goddamn LOVE stockings and garters but never seem to have the opportunity to don them; however, my fancy pants uber-girly bras and matching undies get worn on the reg.

        And hey, while we’re on the subject: ALL THE CORSETS!!!!!!!!!

      4. robotneedslove +28

        I mean, go on with your bad self, but I beg for you not to attempt to make wearing antiquated women’s underwear anything like de rigeur. The mandatory use of those items turn them into instruments of oppression, no joke.

        I REFUSE TO BE HOBBLED ANY LONGER! *throws heels away*

        1. plspassthePinot +23

          haha no no no this is for me alone + any like-minded ladies who enjoy this sort of thing. Under The Matriarchy we are free to make our own best life choices.

      5. g2-3bd9ed4865f8189c2ece50e4fd7e11c2 +6

        Sock Dreams is the bomb diggetty, is all I have to say. 🙂

    2. HotDoom +38

      Do it! Doooo iiiittttttttt and be the unstoppable FASCINATING bullet train you were meant to be.
      I went through a phase when I wore a fascinator like, every day, but my feathers got tweaked by low-lying branches and it killed my fascinator game. But damn, it’s a good game to play.

      1. Abanthis +25

        “my feathers got tweaked by low-lying branches”

        I love everything about this explanation.

  9. evieskye +11

    I bought the Art Nouveau Fashions Coloring Book recently and I have been loving coloring in the hats. Giant be-ribboned hats for everybody!

    1. Cricket +6

      I HAVE THIS TOO. I think I need to invest in colored pencils though because I bought crayons (because I like how they smell) and now they’re too stubby to color in the fine details.

      1. evieskye +2

        I too am using crayons and agree about the need to switch to fancy colored pencils. But I love crayons 🙁

  10. wallofillusion +47

    the hat was dyed in the blood of other, lesser hats

    As are all hats in Fallen London, I believe.

      1. wallofillusion +10

        I have been playing since 2011 so if you are looking for advice on how to stop you will not find it from me!

      2. winterbymorning +17

        I just accidentally sold my soul to the Quiet Deviless D:

        On the other hand she did give me 100 sapphires and 50 diamonds for it, which seems like a sweet deal.

        1. ladyimogen +5

          I almost had mine accidentally abstracted by the Charming Devil last night! It was a veeeeeery close call.

    2. menunu +3

      Okay when I start playing this game finally I am going to add you and you must tell me how to fall properly in London and also show me where the best hats are.

          1. wallofillusion +2

            I think they’re all still available, but some not in the Bazaar! The rarer ones I have are probably the Prisoner’s Mask (first small one) which you can only get from, well, prison; the Unobtrusive Bowler Hat, which is one of the “Mysterious Benefactor” items; and those beautiful cosmogone spectacles, which are from my profession as a glassman. +_+

            edit: no apparently you can buy the Prisoner’s Mask from the Bazaar in case you want to hide your face from Snuffers even after you’re discharged (because I’m sure none of us would ever be so naughty as to escape) from New Newgate.

  15. nopemobile +94

    Is it just me or are there way more WOC in this than previous installments? There’s probably something to be said for hat-wearing individuals being painted more often than lowly bare-headed people, and WOC wearing amazing hats all the time, but whatever the reason, this is great. *basks*

    1. RoseCamelia +19

      Whenever I want to buy a hat, and make sure it is fabulous, I go shopping in the African-American neighborhoods. Best hat shops in Philadelphia, DC, and Houston have been in areas in which I can see more WOC. That’s my experience, so far, as a white woman. YMMV.

      1. plspassthePinot +115

        I 2nd this, as a black woman. Note: it is still perfectly acceptable to destroy everyone’s life w your hat game at most black churches.

      2. aliciafoodycat +2

        Also, if you like matching shoes and handbags, go where the West African ladies shop.

      3. Pope Lizbet

        Memphis. Memphis is top level game hat heaven if you don’t want to pay NOLA millinery prices. Because as the commenter below noted the hat game in PAA churches is not at all a game.

  16. Sean_Sullivan +143


    (What I particularly like about this Ship Hat is the condition of the sails and pennons, all billowing properly as though supported by a following wind. Which opens up two possibilities:

    1. The lady’s dresser molded the sails with starch to make it appear that she traveled always before a friendly gust.
    -OR-
    2. The sails are functional, and the lady unfurls and sets them as fits her course and the prevailing conditions.)

    2. logicbutton +36

      Oh, yes, this picture is definitely best experienced in a vertical-scrolling medium.

    3. Dorothea_Brooke +7

      Isn’t that Marie Antoinette? Imagine trying to get that entire contraption into the guillotine.

    4. Toft +68

      You could even communicate wordlessly by raising and lowering maritime signal flags! What message do you want your hat to send tonight? How about “I am operating astern propulsion,” or “I am altering my course to starboard,” or “I am on fire and have dangerous cargo on board: keep well clear of me?”

      1. sigaloenta +29

        I didn’t know that I needed a sailing hat with signal flags, but now I know that my life will never be fulfilling until I have one.

    5. Cricket +38

      The ship in the wig look is easily one of my favorite historical looks. So much detail and care just to slay everyone at court, the neck pain must’ve been worth it.

      My other favorite WTF fashion from 18th century France? Easily live birds in cages that were nestled into the wigs. Poor birds. But those ladies must have looked unstoppable.

      1. g2-3bd9ed4865f8189c2ece50e4fd7e11c2 +8

        The birds probably had their revenge by pooping in the wigs. 😀

    6. Tessellation +6

      Whoa. So many women with ships on their heads! I didn’t know this was a thing. Why is this a thing? Also, did anyone else read Deborah Nourse Lattimore’s children’s book The Lady with the Ship on her Head?

  18. sdpowell1 +14

    Renoir’s Dance at Bougival! It’s my favorite painting in the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston collection. It was my computer background for years and years because I loved how disinterested the woman was in whatever the dude was saying to her. Also that red bonnet with purple flowers in it,

  19. jenvega +99

    “no, Marguerite
    now that it is I who wears the largest hat
    it is I who must go first
    and you who must go behind”

    Oh, damn, she just Lydia Bennet’d your ass.

      1. jenvega +15

        True. Especially since I think a modern-day Lydia would DEFINITELY keep the Wickham even after a divorce, or at least hyphenate.

  20. EdgarAllanPoBoy +44

    After overhearing a barista mourn over the fact that today’s American fashion won’t allow you to wear a (non baseball cap) head piece without you Wearing A Hat and Probably Being a Douchenoozle, I finally overcame my same fear and bought one. After all, I am not a douchenoozle and why should they get the good accessories? It’s only been a week, but I’m donning it everywhere and it is awesome and I am Wearing A Hat and don’t you come near me.

    1. Unreadaethel +5

      I received a black lace parasol for my birthday, which I’m trying to summon up the courage to actually use in public.

  21. queenofbithynia +63

    is the 11th one down a challah hat? It sure looks like she braided a loaf of bread and then gilded it and then wore it. I hope the answer is yes because if so that is a hat I can make at home.

    does anybody else get so angry when a man wears a hat indoors at you that you can feel the blood draining from your face and your cheeks going cold? I do, it is an insult I cannot countenance, a man wearing a hat under a roof is like a man going right up to you and slapping your face and then acting all surprised when you react with an erupting volcano of contempt. I don’t mind the decline of hats so much but you wear a hat, you follow the rules or you take the consequences.

    1. Adrienne +28

      My husband feels the same way. We had an intern that he literally could not look in the eye because he wore a hat around the office every day. Also: the intern was an affected jerk who wore fedoras.

      1. jenavira +6

        Trilby! If we’re going to be in a hat thread, we might as well point out that douchebag dudebro hats are in fact trilbies, not fedoras. The brim is smaller.

        (I saw a gentleman yesterday who was wearing a real fedora. I don’t know if he was a douchebag dudebro, but he had a truly fantastic hat.)

        1. cheekypinky +1

          BLESS YOU FOR KNOWING THAT.

          (sssssseriously, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve tried to explain the difference between those two fucking hat styles)

          1. jenavira +3

            It’s so clear when you know it. Fedora:

            Trilby:

            (oh my god looking through the google image search for trilby nearly killed my soul)

    2. PaleoGould +57

      Yes, thank you. The number of times I must explain that a gentleman may only wear a hat indoors if he is rushing in to announce bad news and must rush off.

      2. queenofbithynia +57

        I guess I could make the small concession that even though I am for strict hat protocol I am also against sex-based double standards SO: a gentleman may follow a lady’s hat protocol IF AND ONLY IF he wears ladies’ hats. and vice versa naturally.

      3. Pope Lizbet

        I let the very elderly men off on this one because they apologize for it and are usually doing it to protect their scalps post-skin cancer or during treatment for it, which, respect. I’ve already had precancerous cells taken off my noggin and had they been atop my scalp and not behind my ear I would have done the same. Otherwise TAKE OFF YOUR HAT.

    3. PonyAlong +16

      OMG-YES, to men wearing hats indoors being rude boors. Flames on the side of my face.

    5. laurenipsum +10

      Hats indoors doesn’t bug me, but we once had an interviewee for a graduate student assistant position who did not remove his baseball cap *during the interview*, which I found incredibly improper.

    6. Ninajulia

      In my experience there’s a lot of overlap between the groups of guys who wear baseball caps indoors and guys who are prematurely balding.

  22. mmcoulston +14

    I have a couple of straw hats that are perfectly acceptable sunny weather wear, but there’s nothing better than a mankiller fancy hat/fascinator. It’s probably 1/3 the reason I go to the Kentucky Derby every year. Get to wear something fantastic on my head and see a bunch of other women doing the same. I spend most of the time complimenting everyone around me it’s so much fun.

  23. Adrienne +24

    If you’ve got a good garter belt with real clips (none that slide-this-plastic-thing-through-this metal-loop BS) stockings are THE BOMB. You can also get amazing thigh high cashmere ones for winter. They are the MOST. AMAZING. But do invest in the right, ah, suspension system, because that Vicky’s Secret junk will not hold.

    1. plspassthePinot +7

      suggestions for suspension system / where to buy thigh high cashmere stockings PLEASE

      (everything about that sentence made me soooo very happy)

      1. g2-3bd9ed4865f8189c2ece50e4fd7e11c2 +1

        The place I mentioned up thread is a good place to start. Sorry if I’m being spammy – but they are so great!

      2. aliciafoodycat +1

        Get your garter belt from What Katie Did, Rago, or a granny knicker site, not a lingerie site that features a lot of PVC. You probably want 6-8 clips, and you want them metal. And you wear your undies over your garter belt, unless you are planning to remove them within the hour.

      3. cheekypinky +2

        Sock Dreams sells glorious thigh high stockings without the “stay up” band (which works on no one’s leg ever). They also sell a proper metal 6-clip garter belt: http://www.sockdreams.com/products/rago-six-strap…

        You can also find those by scoping vintage stores and flea markets. 🙂

    2. RoseCamelia +8

      I am sure you are correct: suspension system is important That said, so is body type. I have very long, muscular legs. That means stockings are usually too short. The thigh-high stockings were wonderful the first week I wore them. Then my skin screamed NO MORE! My skin cannot tolerate the necessary grippy material that keeps them up.

      TL;DR: Quality of suspension, body shape, and skin sensitivity are important.

      1. cheekypinky +2

        Get a garter belt and stockings without the godawful sticky band! They’re so sneakily sexy.

  24. Spewingllama +29

    #10 down, a tiara cocked jauntily on a hat! This just proves that if you can’t decide what type of headdress to wear, you should just stack it all on your head and call it a mighty fine day.

  25. PonyAlong +10

    I love hats and, all modesty aside, look good in them (or so I’ve been told, anyway). I got all kinds: crocheted toques in animal form (frog and kangaroo), slouchy caps, short brimmed, teenage dirtbag, etc. but the only style I can’t pull off in good conscious is cowboy. I feel like “PonyAlong, because you wear a riding helmet when tooting along the trail, you are not a real cowgirl and therefore, cannot wear The Cowboy Hat and lie to the world at large”.

  26. RoseCamelia +35

    I felt sooo soignee when I had deerskin gloves made from a tracing of my own hands. Perfect fit feels so indulgent. One of my goals is to come to believe I deserve it, to leave behind the notion of proper fit as anything extra.

    1. ThatOtherWench +3

      ooooohh, at what place did you acquire such a delight?

      I’ve conquered the worst parts of finding things to fit my extra-long tall lady self (pants with long inseams, shirts of sufficient length, a shoe size that includes space for These Toes), but am now trying to tackle those odd aspects. This fall, I’ve been thinking about getting boots custom-made so that they actually get near my knee, rather than ending right at the widest part of my calf. But glove season comes soon…

      1. RoseCamelia +3

        I wish I could help. I acquired my gloves when I lived in Phoenix. I have not lived there since the 1980s. Sorry. But I expect one can find custom gloves from animal skin in larger southern US cities such as Houston and Atlanta.

      2. queenofbithynia +15

        I just did some searching because I had the same question and I think the answer is to go to LaCrasia Gloves in New York. They do custom and they say: Missing fingers or extra digits are never a problem. makes me wish I had a few extra fingers just to give them a challenge.

        or here! http://www.kentwang.com/about/gloves
        you can photocopy your hand and send it to them! if only all tailors worked that way, you could photocopy all your parts for a useful purpose

        1. ThatOtherWench +1

          Thanks for all the shiny links. I was supposed to be in New York next month, maybe I’ll try to go anyway just for the gloves.

          1. Junebug

            I think this appears to be a US thread, but in case there are any cross-pond readers thinking: “damn, I want me some fine, well-fitting gloves” then I can highly recommend Chester Jeffries – for both men and women. I mean, they do special “equestrian” gloves and gloves for pilots and for driving. Who wouldn’t want their own pilot gloves?!
            https://www.chesterjefferies.co.uk/

            P.S. I own a custom Panama hat from Ecuador (true fact – Panamas come from Ecuador, not Panama) and I bloody love wearing it, but secretly, Eliza Doolittle’s hat at the races in My Fair Lady will always be my heart’s desire…

    3. threatqualitypress +11

      Yeah, I guess if you think about it, the number one thing you do with clothes is wear them, so “perfect fit” ought to be at the top of the list of essential qualities, rather than on some secondary list of add-ons.

  28. Alli525 +42

    Ok alright FINE, you’ve convinced me: I will take my beautiful fascinator out of its box this weekend for the wedding I am going to (which is not nearly fancy enough but I guess it WILL BE when I show up).

    PEOPLE GET READY.

    1. RoseCamelia +10

      Daytime wedding, I hope. For an evening wedding, one does not wear a hat. Rather, one wears jewelry in one’s hair. I may have gotten that from Miss Manners.

  30. nicoledieker +7

    Someone else remembers Betsy In Spite of Herself and the bit where they all buy Merry Widow hats and then discover their hats are so big they can’t fit into the church pew.

    (Also: the entire concept of the Merry Widow.)

  31. perianwen +30

    Also, does anyone else want to go on a field trip with Mallory to an art museum? Or is that just me.

    1. betsymore +23

      I was just coming down here to say that. “My hat has tiny people in it and they are also wearing hats. GTFO.”

  33. extrayarn +4

    I wish to wear fanciful hats but I’m pretty sure I don’t know how to fix my hair appropriately to make it work.

  34. craftalchemy +11

    Hats! More hats. Hats for all.

    So a good friend of mine of many years wears her hat all the time, even indoors. People tend to assume it’s covering her hair for religious reasons but it’s actually just because she gets cold amazingly easily. I also get cold easily, though not quite to the same extent. She suggested I take up regular hat-wearing to preserve my ears. Some years down the line I am a convinced hat-wearer and wear my red trilby like a boss.

    This also led to a mildly WTF moment at an open Samhain ritual a couple of years ago (friend is Pagan, I tag along to things every so often) when a vague acquaintance asked out of the blue if we were dating.

    Friend: No, what gave you that idea?
    Acquaintance: You’re both wearing hats.

    1. MmeSiniichulok +2

      I wear hats pretty early on in autumn/winter because even though I adore cold weather, migraines happen when my ears are cold. This, plus wearing scarves-as-headbands in summer has led multiple people to ask if I’m an Orthodox Jew (I’m not). Also, wearing kerchiefs when I cook or bake (hey, I find hair in the food kind of embarrassing, especially if someone else is going to eat it), has led concerned Jewish friends to ask if I’ve converted to Islam for my husband (I haven’t. Converted, that is). I guess head covering has always been political and signified status/affiliation/etc., maybe even more so now that bare heads are the norm (at least in North America).

  35. profsnootypants +6

    Mallory, sometimes I sit at home (in the evening, not the middle of the night. That would be creepy.) and I think about how I would make you the biggest hat. Really. You deserve a really big hat.

  36. Bryn (Plus Others) +7

    Seeing just the first little bit of the title of this one, I thought it was going to be ‘Women Wearing Spectacles in Art History’. Which I would also be down with!

  37. Katherine +3

    I love all the hat excitement on this thread! Is it bad form to post a link to my own fancy hat-making business here?

    2. blunderbusst +2

      Uh, I would click that link. (Then again, I’m a shameless self-promoter, so I say more promotions for all Toast selves.)

  38. Unreadaethel +1

    I am confused at the hats on top of turbans. Like, is her wide-brimmed hat pinned on in some way? Is the angle less alarming than the painting suggests? Or does she just never more?

  39. slugqueen +3

    I ‘dress’ for church every Sunday, elegant outfit, heels, nice hat, occasionally gloves. And I don’t look stupid, because I’m Episcopalian, and you see everything from women dressed like me to homeless guys off the street. And I like being able to get dressed up at least once a week. Gives me a nice respite from mom jeans and plain tops.

  40. bakerina +5

    That first picture is a Miranda Hart moment waiting to happen. I can even hear her saying “oh you do go on” and stealing a gleeful look at the camera. And now I really, really want this to happen.

  44. phoole +3

    Mallory, I like you so much. I hope you become exactly as famous as you wish to be and ten times as rewarded as you’d hoped. All of your pieces are out-loud-laugh-inspiring.

  45. Miss_Dahila +1

    I think four-cornered hats should be brought back, no one would bother you wearing one of _those_

  47. Beth +1

    Okay, but anyone else notice that at the front of the Marguerite painting, there’s a dog the size of a chipmunk?

  48. cheekypinky +4

    Rumour has it that if you whisper Mallory’s name next to a painting of a woman being bored in art history, or wearing a fabulous hat in art history, they will come to life and share their juiciest secrets with you.

  51. magentasmusings +2

    I have just discovered these posts and love them. Does anyone know how we can find out what the paintings are?