I feel, so often, that I have lost too many years by not having come out as transgender earlier in my life, yet the past also feels brief and momentary, the present ever-present. Everything becomes a moment.
The world feels like it has gotten at once bigger and smaller, with all these transitions.
Hi, Mallory! I'm a longtime reader, and have greatly enjoyed the Convert Series as I've been navigating my own relationship with faith over the past year. I just became a Bahá'í tonight, and I don't think you've talked to anyone making that particular journey. If you're interested, I'd enjoy taking about my experience.
Hi, Emily! Can you tell me a little bit about yourself before we get started?
I grew up Catholic in the Philippines. Loved reading the Bible (mostly for the Old Testament stories though. My favorite book was probably Tobias, but I couldn't tell you why) and I really wanted to be an altar girl until I got in trouble and my mom told me I couldn't do it anymore, which made me sad.
I grew up in Utah County, Utah, where the population is 75% Mormon. My family was staunchly LDS and I was a good, card-carrying LDS girl until I was 22, and then I formally left the church (submitted a letter in writing to have my name removed from the records, although I am certain they just moved my name to a black folder in a filing cabinet that's on fire).
Growing up is just a cumulative series of realizations that don’t stop until your brain does. I realized I was an atheist when I was fourteen. I realized I was asexual when I was nineteen. And I only started to realize the connections between the two when I was 28.
Neither of my parents spoke much about their faith. My father, who grew up in Paris, was raised Catholic and had been an altar boy. He occasionally spoke to my brother and me about his belief in God but he was profoundly anti-clerical and did not want us to go to church or to receive a religious education.