If you do not like the things we approve of, we suggest you revisit your stance. You are still allowed to like and/or engage in the things we dis-approve of, you are just wrong. Previous installments can be found here. – Eds.
The Toast Approves of the Following Things:
1. Cheaper by the Dozen and Belles On Their Toes
2. Deep-dish, or “Chicago-style” pizza as a worthy equal in the wider pizza universe.
3. Alt-country music
4. Comedians who perform in suits (gender-neutral stance.)
5. Tim Meadows
The Toast Disapproves of the Following Things:
1. Referring to something other than the actual “f-word” as “the f-word.” Example: “Maybe it’s time for the other f-word…forgiveness.”
2. Saying “I forgive you” to a person who has not asked for your forgiveness, outside of, like, a restorative justice setting.
3. “No Regrets” as a philosophical attitude.
4. Saying “I gotta run” on the phone.
5. Restaurants that put full-length mirrors in their bathrooms directly opposite the toilet so you have no choice but to make eye contact with yourself as you make use of the facilities. Why does this exist.
Tags: business, meta, nicole and mallory, official toast stances, stirring the people up, whimsically held positions
The other f-word: fhorrible and funforgivable
also what about “”four letter words””
Also this applies to other swears: “the other c-word: caring;” etc.
WOW I have never heard that. Chorrible.
Or corruption as a professor once called it
I would have no objection to “deep dish” pizza if it were called by its true name: “Lasagna”. Or “Satan’s Cheese Pie”. Actually, no: deep dish is monstrous, and so are you.
Deep dish pizza both infuriates and concerns me. You can’t just dump scalding sauce and cheese inside of a tub formed out of pizza crust and tell me it’s a safe and viable pizza option. It’s a death trap! Satan’s Cheese Pie indeed.
Theres just so much chewing …
It’s not even real pizza crust. It’s some sort of horrible pie-pizza dough hybrid.
possum I thought I knew you better….
butter crust! BUTTER CRUST! come on!
I’m from NJ. The only kind of pizza for me is Trenton tomato pie. Gimme that cracker crust.
AMEN JERSEY SISTER
(the crunchy Conte’s pie is also gr8)
satans cheese pie, the phrase and not the actual thing, is PURE BRILLIANCE ahhhh
Wach out people: New York may control the arts and the money, and DC may have the government, but Chicago has a stranglehold on our nation’s strategic comedy supply. Mock their foodstuffs at your peril!
Additionally you are just baiting us when you do this because come on we already gotta fight about second city and tall buildings and you know it is really cold here so we’re all on edge as is.
Oh and start talking smack about my celery salt, sport peppers and Vienna Beef, and I’m going Bruce Banner.
Thankfully LA was too busy tanning or maybe passed out due to their latest fad diet to realize I left them out of my list.
Or stuck in traffic. Or simply never learned how to read.
After maybe overreacting a touch to last week’s SoCal trolling on the Hairpin, I’mma just let this one go.
IT’S ALL GOOD MAN
“Don’t hate us cause we’re beautiful!” says LA person who seriously debated wearing a sweater over her sleep tee as her work outfit because she didn’t want to change into a cold shirt. It’s been dipping below 50 degrees recently! I CAN’T DEAL
Vienna Beef is unassailable.
Sport peppers?
oh NO! http://www.viennabeef.com/chicago-sport-peppers
next thing you’ll tell me you don’t know what giardinera is. please don’t. i’ll be sad. but I also can eat pickles for every meal. Dammit I want a combo from Al’s.
I am familiar with giardiniera (well, I have seen it about, I don’t know the last time I had it) but I have never heard of a sport pepper before! They sound delightful and I would like some now.
No one ever mentions that Chicago has thin crust pizza too (crispy, square cut), and it is so much better than “New York style” floppy oil wedges. Deep dish is a specialty that I savagely eat about twice a year, and it’s wonderful.
It may be that they don’t mention it because square pizza with crispy crust is rightfully called Detroit-style pizza. It is, in fact, the best.
Detroit also sports its own iteration of deep-dish, viz. PizzaPapalis, which is a life-changing experience, in both the positive sense and the one in which you wonder how much and how often should you be changing your life, really? I max out at once a year on that, myself.
“Detroit-style” pizza? I have nothing against Detroit and its people (except Verlander annually keeping the A’s from advancing), I simply have never heard pizza called that. That might be a regional wishful thinking thing, “pie in the sky” if you will.
I take that back, just searched and the Internet says Detroit style is square yes, but pan/thick/Sicilian style. Also delicious. All Pizza rules.
deep dish is an abomination against the good and holy name of pizza.
The thinner the base the better.
I cannot stop laughing at Satan’s Cheese Pie. However it cannot be LASAGNA, lasagna has noodles. I have not yet encountered a pizza (or “pizza”) involving noodles.
Then you haven’t had the bizarre glory that is macaroni and cheese pizza. Gooey, melty, noodly goodness.
However, it’s definitely not “real pizza.”
Say what now
We midwesterners know how to add cheese (or “cheese”) to anything.
IANS?
Haven’t been there (and had to look it up.) Sounds amazing though.
TOASTUP AT IANS FOR PIZZA WITH PASTA ON IT?
THAT IS TOTALLY IANS PIZZA OF THE REVOLUTION F YEAH.
OMG MADISON TOASTUP PLEASE? AT IAN’S. I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS EXCITED.
CHOIRS OF ANGELS
Pretty soon I’m going to make one in a springform with a proper pastry crust. A pizza pie, that is.
My friend, I invite you to my home in this great land called Chicago and I will feed you our finest: Lou Malnati’s, Pequods and Burts. One has a cornbread crust (delicious), one has a burnt cheese crust (even more delicious because UM HELLO BURNT CHEESE), and the other is a spin on Chicago-style with more dough than cheese/sauce.
Other Chicago Toasties are also invited so that we may show dear snaxstax THE ERROR OF HER WAYS.
Burnt cheese, you say? DO YOUR WORST [if I ever move anywhere Chicago-adjacent]
It really is a closer relative to a meat pie or a quiche than pizza, I mean come on.
(Doesn’t mean it’s not delicious, just that it’s not really pizza.)
You only YOLO once, though.
So what you’re saying is, YOYO?
I want to diagram that out like a sentence
I’m going to start using “yolo” as an actual verb to mean something unpleasant, as in “Ugh, I got my period and yoloed all over the bathroom” or “Dude, I drank too much eggnog, time to go yolo.”
ugh, “no regrets” is the motto of Mr. Noodge’s former BFFle, who is a professional skydiver, dates horrible girls who steal other people’s stuff for fun, has an obsession with wearing shants and leather wrist cuffs, and sounds like a the turtle “Crush” from Finding Nemo.
If you say “no regrets” you are a dirty shants wearer, no questions asked.
But does he have “No Regrets” tattooed on his person???
I wonder if he would have any regrets if the tattoo mistakenly read: “No Regrest.”
“NO EGRETS.”
Unless you say it in French, and then you are pretentious and irritatingly self-destructive.
THERE IS NO ‘OTHER’ F WORD.
Does ‘must dash’ make the cut?
What about just “I gotta go”?
Brief goodbyes always just remind me of Mass Effect now. Cool kid right here.
I saw this somewhere once, I can’t remember where:
Elcor!Shepard – “Decisively: I should go.”
OHMYGOSH ELCOR. In the Citadel DLC, you can go up to one over and over and he’ll recite monologues from Hamlet for you.
OH GOD THAT’S AWESOME. I still haven’t played Citadel! I WANT to, it’s all paid for and downloaded, but I wanted to bring my new Shepard all the way through from the beginning to play it. So I flew through the first two games all excitedly, and then got to ME3 and completely ran out of steam. (With the exception of the Mordin parts, it’s not exactly my favorite of the trilogy.)
But I’m still dying to play Citadel, because I know I’ll love it, so I need to just buckle down and get through it. (And it’s so hard to not just go watch everything on YouTube.)
I recommend playing Citadel after you finish ME3. Chronologically it’s not quite right (outside of some extensive head-canon) but emotionally it’s perfect.
Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to play all the way through to the end this time — although, to be fair, my first time was without the Extended Cut endings, which I know are supposed to make things a lot more satisfying. I can’t remember — is there a way of saving after the end and going back to your game, like in the first two? How does that work? Does it throw you back to right before Priority: Earth? HOW CAN I BE AT THE CITADEL IF — *breaks off sobbing*
After you finish the game, it boots you back to before the Cerberus Base Assault so all DLC takes place before the… stuff. If you’ve already played the ending once you probably don’t need to do it again, although the extended cut endings are better. Not great, but better. Citadel is amazing, though.
Thanks for the info! Now I’m feeling enthused about it again — and this IS my playthrough where Miranda, Tali and Thane, um, tragically gave their lives on the suicide mission, so I’m interested to see how that all works out. I’ll give the EC endings a chance.
Citadel is like Mass Effect’s Greatest Hits. It takes the funniest parts of each character, the most endearing traits, and brings them to the forefront. It’s a very nice emotional coda (and I did play it after finishing the trilogy).
When I got my 3DS, I chose “I should go” as the phrase I sent to other Mii’s but I had to change it because I felt too guilty about street passing people who maybe didn’t play Mass Effect and might not know why I was blowing them off immediately.
I should go. I should go? I SHOULD go. Do I really sound like that?
There is a beautiful amount of self-mockery in Citadel. That and Garrus commenting on how much he misses talking about the history of the alien races in elevators are my favorite things.
Gotta bounce?
Only if you actually do bounce at that point, though.
I would look askance at any non-British person saying that out loud.
I mean it was pretty much a given that Paul F. Tompkins was Toast Approved but I’m glad we have an official stance to back it up.
Trying to think of other comedians in suits is a fun game. John Hodgman, often? Lewis Black. Ellen? Greg Proops. Hmm…
Paula Poundstone?
Aziz Ansari
John Mulaney in “New In Town” which is hilarious and never fails to make me laugh when random bits of it pop into my head.
I, too, immediately thought of Paul F. Tompkins. However, my emotions are mixed because how can I celebrate comedians in suits when almonds are still disapproved?
PFT is my lifeblood. I bet he’d like the Toast.
Jimmy Pardo before his Cardigan Phase.
“a worthy equal in the wider pizza universe”? How about THE BEST THING in the wider pizza universe?
(mic drop)
PISTOLS AT DAWN
LET’S DO THIS
TAG ME IN TAG ME IN.
Also what is this pizza battle can’t we all just agree that NoCal expensive “flatbread esque” pizza is the worst and leave my butterycrust spinach stuffed king of winter eats food ALONE.
I will avenge you, Lou Malnati!
It’s not my absolute favorite type of pizza, I love all pizzas equally but really, all of you deep dish haters: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? So much delicious crust! Sausage! so much cheese!
Now I want some deep dish pizza for lunch, and it’s hard to find in Bmore outside of Uno’s. 🙁
Seriously. I live in the Raleigh/Durham area and we used to have a killer Chicago-style pizza truck, but they disappeared to create a brick-and-mortar this summer and haven’t been heard from since.
TRAGEDY! I just moved to the area and I missed it! Oh well, at least there’s Randy’s for NY style pizza.
WAIT, fellow Raleigh/Durham Toastie, HELLO. How are you! My favorite thing is giving restaurant recommendations to people new to the area, because I eat so much here and feel so positively about the food. I highly recommend Lilly’s (there’s one in Durham and one in Raleigh) for really great thicker-crust pizza. And I’m not a big fan of thin-crust, but I hear Pizzeria Toro is tops for that kind of thing.
Hello hello!!! Huzzah, Toasties in Raleigh/Durham!
And I LOVE restaurant recommendations too so please feel free to throw all of them at me. It’s my life mission to find all the good places to eat/drink whenever I move cities. I actually had a friend take me to Pizzeria Toro for my birthday when I first arrived and it was FANTASTIC. It’s a little too expensive for everyday eating, but so nice as an occasional treat. And I will have to check out Lilly’s! Really I love any/all pizzas. (Even deep dish, sorry Official Toast Stances.)
Yeah, I’ve never been to Toro because it’s expensive and I don’t love thin crust. As far as other restaurants, Geer St Garden is really really great and in a very neighborly, happy part of Durham (near Fullsteam, Motorco, and Cocoa Cinnamon if you’ve ever been there?). My favorite restaurant in the area is Panciuto, in Hillsborugh. It’s actually my favorite restaurant in the world. But it’s hella expensive, e.g. my boyfriend and I are going there for our five-year anniversary and it’ll be well over $100 for the both of us. Buuut if you ever need a place for a nice occasion, it is perfect! When did you move?
I’M WITH YOU
PEQUODS
I want to hear the most ridiculous ‘logistical reasons’ for being forced to stay to the end of a party (which sounds awful, personally). I’ve come up with:
1. Whoever is giving you a ride is the worst person
2. You want your tupperware back
3. The party is at your house
If the party is at your house, it should be a law that you can shout, “this party is over” without anyone getting mad at you.
“It no longer is; it was.”
I tried to embed a parks and rec video in there but that failed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qI94SCwSDRI
I wish I could pull that off with such grace.
We can’t all be phone book models/lifestyle gurus.
That is the way to do it.
We celebrate my husband’s birthday with an all-day open house/movie marathon that last FIFTEEN FUCKIN’ HOURS, and last year at about Hour 12 I had just had it: I was tired, my back hurt, and I was all out of my carefully-marshalled Dealing With Others energy. Then I returned to the sofa from providing my 12th hour of hot delicious food and fresh ice for the bar to find the (very sweet but verrrrry drunk) friend next to me sprawled across both our seats.
No one made any motion to make room for me, even when I asked. (Point 1: our friends are lovely, but 12 hours of even modest drinking can turn anyone into a jackass. Point B. My husband would have offered his seat, but he was also standing.)
I was this close to screaming “THE PARTY IS OVER” right then.
Someone complained to me just last week that she hasn’t heard a peep about the birthday party this year, and I kept my politest face on while providing no specifics and certainly not yelling “IF YOU WANT A FIFTEEN-HOUR PARTY, HOW ‘BOUT YOU HOST IT?”
[edited to add: Well, apparently I’ve been needing to complain about that since last January, but of course I couldn’t because everyone I would have complained to COMES TO THE PARTY. It felt great to get that off my chest.
Also, last year’s party broke our sofa and two chairs. There, the end.]
We hosted Easter when I was pregnant with G, and for whatever unholy reason, nobody ever thought to ask if the 7 months pregnant lady wanted a seat, so I STOOD the whole time. After everyone left, I told Mr Ipo that I was DONE and if he wanted to have people over, I’d stay in the bedroom and he could host the effing thign.
Oh my! I would have just sat on someone.
You are a saint. I would have lost it at hour 6 on the first year and would never have been heard from again.
You are safe among us.
This is my nightmare. I wouldn’t have lasted. I would have gotten myself a nice hotel room and not returned until everyone was gone and the house was cleaned. That you do this every year amazes me.
Complain some more. That sounds horrible. HORRIBLE.
(I do not host parties. I mean, I do, sometimes, but in general: NOPE. Extended family dinners I can deal with- I can get rude to those people or expect them to refresh their own damn drinks. Parties are stress, and I am agog that you’ve managed this repeatedly.)
I can’t really complain much more because it is a great party and I love hosting, and The Fella is a natural host: he has a gift for making sure everyone is comfortable (for the first 12 hours, anyhow). But if we have it this year – and that’s a big If; we still haven’t replaced the broken sofa and chairs – I’ll negotiate a later starting time and a hard limit on last call at midnight. An 8-hour party? Sure! A 15-hour party? NOPE.
I have a catering background, which is a mixed blessing: I know how to plan strategically to make a big party easy, but sometimes I forget that I am not at work at our own parties. When I can remember that there is no client expecting perfection, I have a lot more fun.
The last party I had (Saturday), the co-host and I went into the bedroom, came out in pyjamas, and gave everyone a clearing-up job. I am a party-within-limits sort of girl.
There’s some technical problem here: I cannot LIKE this comment over and over a thousand times.
I’ve taken to falling asleep while I’m hosting (terrible, neglectful friend or multitasker par excellence?) and it gets the message across pretty well.
You can’t find your partner and you didn’t bring your keys.
You’ve lost your coat and have to wait till everyone else has cleared out.
The one and only time my roommates and I had a biggish party in our apartment, I had to keep taking breaks to lie down for a a minute in my room because even though I am sort of nocturnal the excess alcohol and strangers sent me straight to the bunker.
I’ve been doing that since I was a kid… It wasn’t until I was like 20 that I understood why/what it meant. (Sometimes you just need to recharge!)
Yep. I recently co-hosted a part in a friend’s apartment, was fine and happy to cook all day, etc. Then all the people arrived and I stress-drank four glasses of wine, ate all my food too fast to taste it, and fell asleep face-down on my friend’s bed for an hour.
you really want to take Mr/Ms X home with you, and they’re taking FOREVER. Sure you could leave whenever you want, but then you wouldn’t be able to say to Mr/Ms X “Oh hey! I’m leaving now too! want a nightcap at my place?” or whatever excuse you wanna use (“let me show you my etchings!” etc)
Your friend is standing at the top of the stairs swigging from a bottle of neat vodka and you are her goddamn ride.
Your heavy artillery batteries are running low on ammunition and the mule train is bogged down in the mud because it had to divert to the west to avoid a German salient and now you’re receiving accurate incoming fire thanks to those damned observation balloons and half of your reserve tirailleurs are down with dysentery…
the revolution is coming?
The host’s three cats have deposited themselves on your lap. It is very cozy. You cannot leave; you have been encatted.
I don’t even stay until the end of parties at my house. At a certain point I just go to bed and assume my friends will see their way out.
Yes! I also go to bed when I’m done. My husband is usually still up, I guess, but I’m not actually sure, because I am asleep. Sleep is way more fun than any party.
Person you want to have party sex with is for some reason the person who stays at the end which should be a sign for you to not hook up with them but you’ll only learn that later on.
Boy oh boy have I been there.
But how does the Toast feel about the Steve Martin version of (and sequel to) Cheaper By The Dozen?
The thing that perplexed me about that movie was that it had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the book, other than the fact of having twelve children. It wasn’t even that it was a bad movie version of a book, it was just … completely unrelated.
Yes to “Belles on Their Toes”! I read that right before my dad decided his daughters and wife were the only assistance he needed to bale and stack all of our hay, and so I tried to set up an efficient way of loading the trailer and then unloading, etc. I’m pretty sure my improvements actually slowed things down, but it was nice to have something to think about other than how miserable and hot and covered in hay dust I was.
I’m just sitting here and hitting the thumbs up button on every single anti–deep dish comment.
Re: other f-words as the f-word
My go to response: “Well you are an f-star-star cunt.”
I think Peter Capaldi might be my NEW Doctor of My Heart.
To Dad, who only reared twelve children, and to Mother, who reared twelve only children
YES
love these books.
I just looked up Lillian Moller Gilbreth (Mother) on Wikipedia, and in addition to rearing twelve only children, she:
– was the first female commencement speaker at UC Berkeley when she graduated in 1900
– wrote two (TWO) PhD dissertations but was only awarded one degree (from Brown) because she didn’t meet the proper residency requirements at Berkeley
– was one of the first working female engineers with a PhD
– earned 23 honorary degrees
– served on a bunch of important federal committees
– was the second female member of the American Society of Mechanical Engineers
– was the first woman elected to the National Academy of Engineering
– was on a postage stamp
– has a portrait in the National Portrait Gallery and is in a permanent collection at the Smithsonian
Okay everyone just go read this too: http://www2.webster.edu/~woolflm/gilbreth2.html
!!! That’s fantastic. I want to go see her portrait!
But what about that scene from The First Wives Club where Goldie Hawn says “Well, for now I’m just going to say the ‘f-word’… Felony.”
That’s okay, right?!
Everything Goldie Hawn does is unassailable.
I did community theater when I was in elementary school, and we did both “Cheaper by the Dozen” and “Belles on their Toes”! I learned how to fake cry, and that’s when my acting abilities peaked.
I was Ernestine in my middle school play!
What about “Well, I should let you get going…” as a way to end otherwise interminable phone conversations?
I do this so often that now my friends just sigh at me and keep going.
I would do this but I never even answer the phone so there is no opportunity. My friends have stopped calling.
Do it progressively louder. Eventually you’ll be yelling, which is what should happen to people who won’t take hints.
I use “Well, I’m gonna let you go…” with my mom. If I don’t follow it up with “… I have to get dinner on the table” or “…I have a doctor’s appointment” or something equally legitimate-sounding, it takes another five minutes/at least one more “Well, I’m gonna let you go…” before we finally hang up.
OK bye >click< works pretty well…
UPDATED WITH A NEW FIFTH THING THAT IS HORRIBLE WHY DO THEY HAVE IT
Like, in the stall? I have never seen such a thing.
Maybe like, a one-person bathroom so the mirror is just in the same space as the toilet and the sink and everything else?
YES I had one of these to deal with last weekend. It’s a single-person bathroom with a HUGE GIANT MIRROR ON THE DOOR directly across from the toilet. Whyyyyy.
I’ve seen them in the stalls. IN THE STALL. ON THE DOOR. TWENTY INCHES FROM MY KNEES.
Not pleasant.
And now my comment above just looks like a crazy person non sequitur. So it goes.
Ahhh I was wondering what that was about. Glad to see the sequence of events down here!
My parents’ bathroom is like this 🙁 Luckily, the toilet is only at shoulder height when you’re seated, so you can pretend you’re not watching yourself poop.
ending a phone conversation with my mom usually involves 3-4 false endings and takes up to half an hour, so sometimes I just yell “I HAVE TO PEE” and hang up. acceptable?
Totally. Also, smart.
You can only take so much. After the third, “Well I should let you go OH did I tell you…” you are allowed to make up any excuse, “Hey MOM, I need both my hands to do this thing and my ear is on fire, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
My mother does the false endings in person, so guests get caught standing in the foyer with their coats on and the door in sight but still snagged up in threads of in-depth conversation, and you can’t even make faces without getting caught.
… but I TOTALLY DO ANYHOW COME ON MOM LET THEM LEAVE IT’S TIME TO GO. It is perhaps my last remaining prerogative from adolescence.
Any notion that Chicago-style isn’t pizza is WRONG and UNINFORMED.
But seriously. Come to Chicago and I will feed your hole with so much delicious deep dish that you’ll only be able to wear elastic band pants for a couple of days.
I can get deep dish pizza and Chicago style hot dogs here in the Bay Area, but I miss Italian Beef. No one even knows what it is.
I will eat Italian Beef for lunch in your honor.
bring me some please because never has my lunch been more disappointing than today.
also whizzdumb are you talking about Zachary’s?? The one in Rockridge always made me SO MAD but that was at least five years ago.
That’s the one! Granted, the crust is too starchy and not buttery or flaky enough, the sauce is too sweet and not tangy enough, but deep dish is available if need be. Did you know that Lou Malnati’s and Giordano’s both ship pizzas anywhere in the country? Why haven’t I done that yet? Probably because it’s expensive and I’ll visit Chicago soon enough.
I actually love deep dish pizza, but I reach my medical cheese limit after approximately 1.5 bites, so it’s a fairly useless foodstuff to me…
I am guilty of “I forgive you.” I said it to my boyfriend the other day as a response to him telling me he had never seen The Muppets Christmas Carol.
Official Nicole Stance: That is an acceptable exception to the rule.
Did he at least repent of his sin?
Mostly. He actually suggested we watch it the other night, and made no comment on me singing along to all the songs and saying a few lines along with the movie when I couldn’t stop myself. All he has to do is sit through another 4 or 5 viewings before Christmas comes and he will be in the clear.
I hope the pro-Chicago Style Pizza stance can one day be extended to Chicago Style Dogs as well, because there is no better dog.
FUCK KETCHUP
what is this “ketchup” you speak of? certainly nothing I’ve ever seen on a Chicago Dog…
A hot dog without ketchup is not worth eating.
I can either take or leave ketchup on a hot dog, but my default position is pro-ketchup because Chicago’s asinine anti-ketchup furor is so tiresome.
I can agree with the tiresome, but I think the reason I hate ketchup on a Chicago dog is because ketchup with those flavors is VILE.
Hot dogs are an excuse for ketchup.
Chicago Deep Dish Pot Pie is very good, but it’s NOT PIZZA.
What about “No Egrets” as a philosophical attitude?
If the Toast does not support this, I may have to rethink my lunchtime reading.
Anyone else not a fan of “Well, I’m gonna let you go now”? It’s acting like you’re doing me a favor by hanging up…except, I called you. Just admit you want to go! I can handle it. I don’t know, it’s just a weird pet peeve of mine.
This is a bad habit of mine and I don’t know how to make it stop. I’m just going to start doing the thing they do on TV and movies and just hang up abruptly.
I often reply with “but I don’t have to go” which vexes people. I’d like to think it makes them reformulate their goodbyes, but it probably just makes them not want to call me anymore. Which is fine, because I don’t like talking on the phone very much.
Official Toast Stances reminds me of “30 Helens Agree” from KITH. <3<3<3
I don’t mind a bathroom mirror in front of a toilet. I prefer to know exactly what I look like in all situations so if I look weird doing something I can fix it. Because the only thing more embarrassing than a stranger accidentally walking in on you pooing is a stranger walking in on you pooing AND sitting on the toilet wrong.
Cheaper by the Dozen and Belles on their Toes were formative books for me, and I love them always and forever. Because of them, I think about efficiency even when I’m not thinking about efficiency. I do not know whether it has made me more efficient in general, but no one can unstaple and photocopy documents at lightning speed like me! Thank you, Gilbreths.
(Also: Myrna Loy and everyone in the 1950 film version are tops, and mentions of Hilary Duff etc. in the completely unnecessary 2003 remake will be considered tantamount to profanity. Steve Martin gets a pass because Steve Martin.)
We used “not of general interest!” in my house growing up, and I have now taught it to my husband.
Jean Crain’s bob is my everything.
I read Cheaper by the Dozen early on as a child and did not find out until later that MY MOTHER ACTUALLY KNEW THE GILBRETHS. I mean, not well or anything, but they lived in her town and she went to school with some of their children. MIND BLOWN.
Official Hunting Creek stance: Pizza is like sex in that all varieties of pizza are good. Deep Dish is just one example of the wonderful pantheon of pizza options available in this great land.
MSHUNTINGCREEK, marry me.
AMEN.
I'm going to start using "yolo" as an actual verb to mean something unpleasant, as in "Ugh, I got my period and yoloed all over the bathroom" or "Dude, I drank too much eggnog, time to go yolo."
CHICAGO PIZZA. I love you from the bottom of my Midwest heart, Toast.
Seriously, my childhood was snuggled in more cheese and tomato sauce than a thin-crust slice could dream of. God bless.