Apologies in advance, obviously
- “You’re apocryfull of it”
- Septua-get outta here
- Canon u gnostic
- more like the Meanene Creed
- how about Chalcedon’tian
- Tanakh it off
- that’s so Unfairisees
- Paul of Tarshush it
- give it a Nazarest
- “It’s never Josephus anymore, it’s always Joseph-you“
- “it’s not that I don’t like the guy, something about him just synopticks me off
I am heartily and appropriately ashamed of myself; please feel free to add your own early-church puns in the comments.
Tags: i am so so so so so so so sorry, puns, religion
Related Posts
So dirty he’s an omphaloseptic.
More like BarnabASS-HOLE (also acceptable JudASS-HOLE)
Not so good ones that I can’t resist ZebeDON’T & GaliLOSER
Okay, GaliLOSER made me choke a little on my coffee…hahahahaha
Don’t know which one’s my favourite, Septua-get outta here or How about Chalcedon’tian. Probably the latter, though.
Also, this is a good antidote to the grade I got on my exam in ecclesiastical history (is this even the proper English expression??) today.
More like apostoldick succession.
Paul, an apostle of the Lord, to the church in Bore-inth. Grace to you and peace from my butt.
Joseph of Arima-see-ya-later.
Don’t know which one’s my favourite, Septua-get outta here or How about Chalcedon’tian. Probably the latter, though. Also, this a good antidote to the grade I received on my exam in ecclesiastical history today.
Yeah, that was not supposed to happen. Sorry for the double/triple post, y’all.
When you do not have a registered Toast account, your comments go into moderation automatically, so just sit tight next time! I will delete the extra posts.
Thanks! The thing is, it usually works, just now the comment stayed in the box so I assumed there was a problem with submitting.
Your willingness to acccept traditor bishops in North Africa in the wake of Constantine’s edict of toleration is more Don’t-atist than Do-natist.
Your heretical idea that Jesus Christ has a single nature is going to mono-fizz-out.
That unflattering garment suggests to me that Augustine isn’t the only one from Hippo around here.
You are Peter, dumb as a rock, on which I found my church.
More like ASault of Tarsus, amirite.
Donatist, dorkatist, it’s the same thing.
I prefer Gregory of Nice-a to Gregory of Nastyassus.
/got nothing
//hungover from end of year divinity school celebration
This post = catnip for MDivs
And almost MDivs. #onemoreyear
Go you! *shakes pompoms of theological encouragement*
Thank you!!! So close, so far…
That death was really martyr-DUMB.
More like you converted on the road to Dumb-ass-kiss.
After I got that letter from Paul, I was really epistled off.
hahaha dumb-ass-kiss is my fav
Paul got ascenshunned so he was Thessalone on the Road to Demascus. The Apostles drove by and didn’t pick him up because they were already all in one Accord. Paul continued walking alone until he got Pentaccosted by an Ethiopian jeweler wanting to sell him some Sapphiras. “Ceasarea jewels,” said the jeweler. “Eunucklehead,” said Paul. “Only a blind man would buy these.”
Applause for the effort. Standing ovation for Caesarea jewels. 🙂
Girl, ConstantiNOPEle
What about self congratulations? For example, CruciFLY him would be like if a guy was really cool.
GIVE IT A NAZAREST OH MY GOD D-Y-I-N-G
I could watch this gif all day
Don’t you (Pope) Evar-istus shut up?
to koine a phrase: looks greek to me!
You’re being a real patrisdick right now.
Ugh all I can think of are Book of Mormon ones.
Yeah, I think your mom’s a Korihor, you wanna Nephite about it?
broke apostles better go Gethsemane.
WHERE WERE YOU TWO DAYS AGO WHEN I TOOK MY NEW TESTAMENT FINAL?
Exactly how are we defining “early apostles”? I mean, there’s
“When Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him IN YOUR FACE, KOSHER BOY,”
and then there’s
“I bet you’re just all homeboy-ousios with your new BFFs these days.”
“Get thee behind me, Satan.” Great, the Messiah’s a power bottom.
DEAD
*screaming and crying* THESE ARE LITERALLY THE BEST KTHNXBAI
oh god, Peter, what is that thing
IT’S AN AXE
yeah, I see that
IT’S THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES
Peter, put that down, I don’t think that’s what Jesus meant
IF YOU DON’T GET OUT OF MY WAY IT’S GOING TO PENTE-COST YOU
I don’t know puns, but really need feedback on my new Paul / Silas crucific “Rich Corinthian Leather.”
the best I ever heard wasn’t early church, but the sickest burn was in a Trito-Isaiah class I took in grad school: one of the students said to another “YOU’RE the reason the Germans say ‘Jehovah’.”
which is only insulting if you read Hebrew and also Latin I guess. but it was legendary.
You may be Theophilus, but I’m the Bestest. (I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.)
Surely you’re it Syrian! After reading those, I just falafel.
Type A? I always thought Jesus had more of a beatitude…
Saint Bonerface
Gnostic? Sounds like that’ll Not-Stick! HEY-OH.