The Toast Looks Back: The Best Of Two Monks -The Toast

Oh, two monks, I think I’m going to miss you most of all.

Two Medieval Monks Invent Art

Two Medieval Monks Invent Maps

Two Medieval Monks Invent Some More Art

Two Monks Invent The Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood

Two Monks Illustrate The Old Testament

Two Monks Invent Biblical Art

Two Monks Invent Denominations

Two Monks Invent Dinner Parties

Two Monks Invent Bestiaries

Two Monks Invent Writing

Two Monks Invent Religious Iconography

Two Monks Discover How Tall Women and Horses Are

Two Monks Discuss Alexander the Great

Two Monks Learn How To Draw Hands

Two Monks Invent Renaissance Art

Two Monks Invent Byzantine Art

Two Monks Invent Horses and Armed Warfare

Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.

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+61 Vote up Vote down

kaylaelisabethblog 125p · 458 weeks ago

OH NO

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+216 Vote up Vote down

wagrid 131p · 458 weeks ago

I really hope the Two Monks land on their feet after The Toast closes. Maybe a sitcom on CBS? Two Broke Monks. How I Invented Your Mother. Two and a Half Monks. Everybody Loves Monks.

Seriously though, this was my favourite series on The Toast. Thanks so much Mallory, you're amazing.

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5 replies · active 458 weeks ago

+31 Vote up Vote down

VioletandIrises 120p · 458 weeks ago

I knew this would be the one that gets me to really start mourning. I'm not ready for that yet. Too many feelings. *hides under desk*

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2 replies · active 458 weeks ago

+69 Vote up Vote down

fiddlergirl 95p · 458 weeks ago

Two Monks Invent Bestiaries was one of the first Toast posts I saw, I think! Definitely one of the posts that got me hooked.

Also I have a junior coworker who is always apologizing for bugging me about this or that, and every time it makes me feel like Monk #2.

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2 replies · active 458 weeks ago

+29 Vote up Vote down

fireblargg 137p · 458 weeks ago

This is my favorite series, too. May Two Monks live forever.

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+22 Vote up Vote down

JellybeanInk 143p · 458 weeks ago

Look, I've been battling Trump-loving family members all day and now you want me to mourn the monks, TOO? I cannot. I refuse to accept this reality.

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+18 Vote up Vote down

diaryofamadeditor · 458 weeks ago

art history and two monks in ONE DAY. With 15 days to go?!

i think i laugh/cried/fell over in laughter-gut-pain the hardest of all Toast jokes at Two Monks Invent Dinner Parties. Mr. Editor & I couldn't even get through it because we were laughing so hard.

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+24 Vote up Vote down

angrypedestrian 135p · 458 weeks ago

GODDAMMIT I CALLED IT.

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2 replies · active 458 weeks ago

+62 Vote up Vote down

cloverleaf · 458 weeks ago

I need to point out that I would happily buy a Two Monks book. For myself and all my friends.

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3 replies · active 458 weeks ago

+54 Vote up Vote down

littlehuntingcreek 135p · 458 weeks ago

The Two Monks should be a book, then a Pixar cartoon movie

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1 reply · active 458 weeks ago

+25 Vote up Vote down

DelDryden 98p · 458 weeks ago

*sniffle* But... but the bedbird!

*clings*

*worries*

Please let there be more of two monks somewhere, sometime.

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2 replies · active 458 weeks ago

+84 Vote up Vote down

GearyGirl77 116p · 458 weeks ago

I think I *am* going to miss Two Monks most of all... They're trying their hardest. They ask each other questions. They wonder about things, like what do horses eat, and how tall are women, or what a dog's face looks like, or how many people fit in a castle. They do the best they can. They still get it mostly wrong. Pretty much, they're me.

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2 replies · active 458 weeks ago

+8 Vote up Vote down

afenbert 131p · 458 weeks ago

Will absolutely spend my entire evening reading through the canon of Two Monks.

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+25 Vote up Vote down

tabbylavalamp 149p · 458 weeks ago

THE BEST OF TWO MONKS

All of them.

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+12 Vote up Vote down

naglayaxuliganka 108p · 458 weeks ago

Yup, this just got real. Mostly I've been carefully avoiding the round ups because Feelings, but I can ignore it no longer. This is devastating. Please, please, please, let the monks live on.

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+40 Vote up Vote down

perianwen 105p · 458 weeks ago

MALLORY THERE'S NOTHING STOPPING YOU FROM DOING SOMETHING MORE WITH THEM AFTER, YOU KNOW

just saying
I mean
they could go in a book or something
idk

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5 replies · active 458 weeks ago

+24 Vote up Vote down

Emerald_Hawk 0p · 458 weeks ago

Don't forget the Best of Two Monks Fanfiction:

Two Monks Invent Mr. Darcy

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2 replies · active 458 weeks ago

+14 Vote up Vote down

Heathered 118p · 458 weeks ago

I know I'm clinging with a death-grip to that idea about you guy throwing something up once in a while "just for funsies," but those funsies would be extra fun if they included an occasional (really, even once a year, like a flu shot!) hit of the monks.

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1 reply · active 458 weeks ago

+5 Vote up Vote down

Liz G · 458 weeks ago

I will DEFINITELY miss this most of all. I'm now googling images of people crying in medieval art. And snickering a bit.

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+6 Vote up Vote down

lcox 15p · 458 weeks ago

Truly the best of Two Monks is the best of The Toast. Along with Western Art. Surely two books isn't too much to ask for!

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+2 Vote up Vote down

Linabobeena 108p · 458 weeks ago

well, this is sad. but I had missed a few of these, so I am still laughing.

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+5 Vote up Vote down

emdash · 458 weeks ago

One time at a reading Mallory did in SF, I got brave and asked her if she was going to bring Two Monks back, because they had gone away for a while (perhaps hiding in a castle 1.5 times bigger than them) and then a little while later there was a new Two Monks!

I'm going to try to tell myself that I had a tiny part in there being more Two Monks before the world went dark and the moon fell down (aka The Toast going away), but I don't think that's going to make it much better.

Thank you SO much Mallory! This former stay-at-home medievalist thanks you from the bottom of her heart.

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+3 Vote up Vote down

Plum · 458 weeks ago

Me too I will miss them most of all. <3 U, Monkies.

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+3 Vote up Vote down

Squid · 458 weeks ago

Please tell me we're also going to get a retrospective on "Paintings of X in Order Of Y-ness" before it's all over.

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+3 Vote up Vote down

dakimel 122p · 458 weeks ago

words and emojis and gifs and illuminated manuscripts all fail to express the depths of my feels

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+6 Vote up Vote down

bookwormV 119p · 458 weeks ago

The Two Monks posts have made me laugh until I cried. I am not emotionally equipped to deal with this.

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+12 Vote up Vote down

typewriterandgramophone 124p · 458 weeks ago

But wherever they go, and whatever happens to them on the way, in that enchanted place in the scriptorium of the Abbey, two monks will always be inventing.

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+2 Vote up Vote down

Alice 623 · 458 weeks ago

Siddons Packard is absolutely right. The Two Monks are immortal contributions and they HAVE to live on. So happy to learn from today's post that there were some I hadn't read. Anyone will love them but especially anyone who did time shouldering their burden doing medieval history.

The Toast Looks Back: The Best Of Two Monks

ByDaniel Mallory Ortberg

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