I have long regretted that one of my first lesbian-antennae moments wasn't the result of a better movie. It was the scene where Andrea cuts her hair off to disguise herself as a boy in Motocrossed, a Disney Channel Original movie that ran continuously during the summer of 2001 that I saw, conservatively, four hundred times.
Previously in this series: "Snow White the False" Good morning class! Over the course of this semester, we have had the opportunity to examine, and sometimes reappraise, how different monarchical institutions have adapted to crises. These monarchies are, by their nature, conservative and generally do not change course in the absence of fairly drastic events, usually driven by external forces. A single person – even if that person wears the Crown – rarely has the…
For your more detailed perusal. 1. "The story takes place in a kingdom of lions in Africa, and was influenced by the biblical tales of Joseph and Moses and the Shakespearean play Hamlet." 2. "...despite the protests of Mufasa's hornbill majordomo Zazu." 3. "Jim Cummings as Ed, a dim-witted hyena who does not talk, only communicating through laughter. Cummings also voiced a gopher that talks with Zazu and replaced Irons as Scar in certain lines…
From before I can remember to the beginning of my high school years, it was my family's tradition to go to Disney World for the week of Thanksgiving. It was the only vacation we took for the better part of my childhood, and we prided ourselves on our special insider knowledge as regular, annual visitors to Disney World. The crown jewel in our treasury of underloved “secret” attractions was Maelstrom: A High Seas Adventure.
Disney has always toyed with the boundary between man and animal. As The Toast has covered previously, these boundaries have not necessarily been consistent across its films. The ecology of Disney is a strange and unknowable realm, and nowhere is that more clear than in examining its animal sidekicks.
At the time of this writing, the Walt Disney Company does not control the weather in Orlando, Florida, but for some reason it is a surprise to arrive at Disney World's French Quarter resort under cover of darkness during a mild cloudburst, a little like catching your grandmother sleeping in church. We, that is my wife Pamela and I, accidentally arrive on Disney Gras, a chaste celebration that extends from Fat Tuesday all the way…
Jilly Gagnon's previous work for The Toast can be found here. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves: A teenage runaway, broken by years of psychological and physical abuse at the hands of her stepmother, moves in with seven middle-aged men, becoming their domestic slave. After several months hiding out in their filthy hovel (it’s so rundown that dozens of varieties of vermin infest it), Snow White’s stepmother finds her and, enraged, escalates her abuse…
See also: The AP History of "The Mermaid's War" Good morning all. Given the state of my inbox, I understand that a number of you have issues with the marks you received on your term papers. I would ask that you book time to speak with me during office hours – I am, myself, in the process of completing a monograph on the catastrophic inflation and economic disruption that occurred in the Middle Eastern…
Last night I was awoken as if from a dream by artist Patience Lekien's reimagining of the cast of The Disney Channel's Proud Family as young adults. I shook off the fog of slumber and became my true self once more. Of course this needs to happen. You remember the show, of course; remember Wizard Kelly (I don't know whose idea it was to combine R. Kelly and Magic Johnson into a single character, but I…
Good morning, class. Ok, before we get started, are there any questions about last week’s lecture? Anyone? No? Well that’s good to hear: since you all have such a good handle on the topic, I guess I won’t bother putting any questions about it on the final exam. Ha ha! In all seriousness, I know some of you are writing your essays on the Coma Concorde between the Kingdoms of Stefan and Hubert, and I…
