Posts tagged “monsters”

  1. Zane Shetler's previous work for The Toast can be found here.

    Thanks to your frantically shouting, “You don’t know what you’re dealing with! You can’t play God, man,” I can’t help but feel compelled to give you the royal tour of our facilities. It might not be standard operating procedure, but I haven’t made it as Chief of Monster Containment by doing things by the book. Hell, you’re just some guy who

  2. Lynne Elkins' previous work for The Toast can be found here.

    Today, I am not here to talk to you about science*. Instead, I would like to share a truth that you may not have fully realized, which is that the ocean is a horrifying place full of monsters.

    You might be thinking, “But I always wanted to be a marine biologist! I love dolphins!” And to be fair, dolphins

  3. Excerpts from Figueroa’s Findings on the Habits of Everyday Monsters

    The Earworm (Halicocephalus strepitus) is a microscopic parasite most commonly found in the inner ear of human beings.

  4. Ephesians 6:10-17: "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that…

  5. This is an email blast written by a monster.