Your mates are going to lose their shit when they see you in this clobber. Nothing says “tall poppy” like a 1978 Pontiac Firebird Kammback. It’s rare as rocking horse shit, and it’s a corker of a ride. Picture yourself behind the wheel, sporting a crisp tortoise onesie, turning donuts out front of a NightOwl. Yeah, it costs big bikkies, but in this getup you’re going to stand out like dog’s balls in all…
Previous installments of Jessica Valenti’s “Eat Me” column can be found here. Most recently: Sunday Sauce.
I grew up in a house in Long Island City, Queens that my great-grandparents bought almost 100 years ago. There was an apartment upstairs and over the years the downstairs was a paint store, my grandfather’s butcher shop, and a candy store that turned out to be a front for a fraud and hijacking ring. (My
So, yesterday we covered why boneless skinless chicken breasts are a boring, dry, overpriced nightmare. Today, we're going to talk about a nice, relaxing, date-night way to cook chicken breasts that have NOT been pruned of their delicious fatty essence, and it'll be great. I'll share some more mindless recipes for whole chicken breasts over the next few weeks, this is just my favourite kind of dinner for two (apart from homemade cheeseburgers and…
We need to have a serious conversation about this. I only want to help you. I also get a lot of emails from Feel the Burn-ers asking me how to cook meat, because I eat a ton of meat, and seem like someone who knows how to cook it (you are correct). First up, if you are a vegan or a vegetarian, you already do not buy boneless skinless chicken breasts, so this does…
Anyone can screw up while cooking. You forget the salt. You forget to turn it down to a simmer. You don't read the recipe all the way through, and then you suddenly need a gratin dish or something. It's okay, no big. That's on you, you're an idiot, you move on with your day. But sometimes, the recipe did you wrong. The recipe did you wrong like a man in a Loretta Lynn song. That…
Lady: "Wait, is there squash in this?" Tramp: "Whatever, princess." First up, let's just get this out of the way: spaghetti squash is not pasta. It is never going to be pasta. No one will be fooled. But that doesn't mean it doesn't have a place in your kitchen. Me, I've been tinkering away perfecting this bad boy for some time now, and am now ready to share it with the world. The internet is…
The story of how my family acquired Old World recipes for Ashkenazi cuisine is a rape story – but it takes a bit of digging to figure that out. They don’t talk about it. The ones who are left alive to tell it, anyway, the old ones. And we, the young ones, learned long ago to stop asking. The pursing and hardening of lips that were wide open with laughter only moments before, the sudden…
Deconstructed Thai Chicken Lettuce Wraps Southeast-Asian inspiration finds elements of salty and savory dancing over a bed of crisp vegetation. Crunchy lettuce accompanies tender chicken bathed in a classic Thai condiment, one over which umami proudly reigns. The simple salad forays into the exotic with a once-familiar protein transformed, cool leaves bending ever so slightly under their partner’s slowly dissipating heat. Embrace a dish at once light and satiating, uncomplicated and bold to the final…
Okay, you don't care, you just want some cookies. Or you have a kid, and he magically goes to a school that still lets you bring in unpackaged homemade baked goods, but you forgot, and he needs them in the morning, and your oven is broken. Or, if you're me, you're just bad at making cookies in general. Either you use waxed paper when you shouldn't, and they sail off in all directions, or they're…
Jessica Valenti’s “Eat Me” column appears every other Friday at 3pm. Previous installments can be found here. My grandmother was not the cookie-baking kind. Don’t get me wrong, she was supremely loving: my mother was her youngest, the baby, and my sister and I held special places in the grandchild hierarchy. She brought over gifts and cared for us while my parents worked. But Nanny Ann took no shit. When my sister and I…
NO, don't feel like you have to eat your feelings, and also if you're really upset, you should just go buy something and have instant gratification that doesn't need to thaw overnight in the fridge, but this thing is completely bananas and really soothing. I heard a very gendered thing once that suggested that when men are asked to describe their favourite comfort foods they choose things that require effort (lasagnas, pot pies, meatloaf, etc.),…
Everybody knows that salad is the best part of the meal. Wait. That might not be right? But … could it be? I believe it might. You see, my superpower is making incredibly good salads. It is, admittedly, a strange superpower to have but we don't exactly pick these things, now do we? So from time to time, I'll check in with you to let you know…
