Poetry The Teenage Wasteland
Don't cry; don't raise your eyes. It's only T.S. Eliot's The Teenage Wasteland.
Mallory Ortberg
Poetry 
Animals Advanced Elephant Societies Use Physical Affection To Isolate, Distress One Another
Just like humans, elephant societies have a highly sophisticated way of withholding physical affection from each other.
Books How To Tell If You’re In A Dashiell Hammett Novel
If you're trapped in a Dashiell Hammett novel, this piece can help you out.
Health Doctors Diagnose 100% of Americans With Seasonal Affective Disorder
Everyone has seasonal depression and there's nothing we can do about it.
Movies I Saw About Last Night Last Night
I saw About Last Night and I have questions.
Books When To Give A Kid A Book: The Only Parenting Advice I Will Ever Give You
How to control a child through the judicious giving of books.
Beauty Blanche DuBois Is The Same Age As Jess From New Girl
Blanche DuBois, that fading southern beauty, is the same age as Jess from New Girl.
History Never Forget That Someone Once Ranked Each Presidents’ Survival Odds In A Massive, All-Presidential Knife Fight
Let's talk presidents and knife fights.
Meta Kids In The Hall Monday Open Thread
It's an open thread! You should have the day off, but feel free to check in if you're snowed in, or whatever.
Television What I’ve Learned About Love From The Simpsons
The Simpsons, and love.
Meta Toast Points: The Week of February 14th, 2014
Toast Points!
Books The Most Horrifying Moments From Sideways Stories From Wayside School
Every scarring memory from Sideways Stories From Wayside School.
Art Nature Is Terrifying
Nature is really horrific.
Heroes Woman Amazed And Horrified She Has To Just Keep Getting Up And Doing The Same Shit Again Tomorrow
Woman horrified and amazed to realize she has to do all the same shit tomorrow.
Friendship John Mayer and Shia LaBeouf: Best Friends Forever
John Mayer and Shia LaBeouf are friends.
