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Texts From Miss Havisham

by Mallory Ortberg · August 28, 2013
Previous entries in the series can be found here. Sarah, darling! Got your note oh lovely couldn’t possibly make it over for the christening as I’m simply swamped at the moment (you may recall I was left at the altar and have spent the intervening years reeling from the betrayal) yes I remember Wish terribly I could make it but you know how it is being jilted Well we’ll set out a piece of cake for you just in case Please don’t worry about me I’m surrounded by the ruins of an aching, hopeless love that’s slowly congealing into poison so I’m keeping busy much love to the baby thank you if it’s a boy I hope you drown it

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