Author Archive

Toast Points For The Week Of January 30th

Has it already been a week since we saw the first painting of women gleefully murdering men? How time does its time-y thing.

...Read More

A Bit Of Fry And Laurie Friday: Her Lesbotic Tendencies Are A Matter Of Public Record

Oh man, it was between this sketch and the super-great “Homosexual” one, but this one had the edge for giving us the phrase “voracious lesbite.”

...Read More

Bejeweled Skeletons and Bee Curses

Turns out when you travel through Eastern Europe researching a book called The Empire of Death, you run into some pretty interesting things:

“It sounded like something from the Brothers Grimm,” he recalls. “But I followed his directions—half thinking this guy was crazy or lying—and sure enough, I found this jeweled skeleton in the woods.”

...Read More

A Letter From Chris Kimball

Today’s a happy day, readers. Today I’m marrying the assistant girl, which marks the beginning of spring. Every fall I shed my old assistant-wife, and every spring I marry the new one. It’s an old Vermont custom – as old as sinking your mother into a vat of fresh-churned butter and storing her in the jam-cellar for freshness – and it makes for a good harvest.

...Read More

Cartoon Characters Who Were Significant In The Development Of My Queer Identity And Current Inspirations For My Weightlifting Routine

Hyena, Gargoyles


Influence on queer identity: Haircut, lascivious smile
Weightlifting inspiration: Squats, swimmer’s press

Kida, Journey To Atlantis


Influence on queer identity: Look at her
Weightlifting inspiration: Deadlifts

Carmen Sandiego, Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?


Influence on queer identity: Hair lustrousness, general butch-y swagger, boots
Weightlifting inspiration: Bent-over rows

Queen Beryl, Sailor Moon


Influence on queer identity: Cackling, imperiousness, redheaded deviousness

...Read More

Link Roundup



A reader recently sent me a link to the Tumblr analyzing this painting:

Screen Shot 2015-01-28 at 5.41.39 PM

Susanna and the Elders, Restored (Left)
Susanna and the Elders, Restored with X-ray (Right)
Kathleen Gilje, 1998

For those who don’t know about this painting, the artist was the Baroque artist Artemisia Gentileschi.

Gentileschi was a female painter in a time when it was very largely unheard of for a woman to be an artist. She managed to get the opportunity for training and eventual employment because her father, Orazio, was already a well established master painter who was very adamant that she get artistic training. He apparently saw a high degree of skill in some artwork she did as a hobby in childhood. He was very supportive of her and encouraged her to resist the “traditional attitude and psychological submission to brainwashing and the jealousy of her obvious talents.”

Gentileschi became extremely well known in her time for painting female figures from the Bible and their suffering.

...Read More

How To Tell If You Are In A Soft Science Fiction Novel

Previously: How to tell if you are in a high fantasy novel.

Something has gone terribly wrong with the earth’s orbit, but modern gender roles are still pretty much intact.

Even ray guns cannot destroy man’s oldest and strongest enemy – hubris.

A beautiful woman who represented all that was good and pure in human civilization is horribly killed, and it is at least 45% your fault.

A princess of the warrior caste with gleaming indigo skin longs to understand this Terran concept your people call ‘love.’

...Read More

Future Episodes Of House Hunters International

Previously: Next on Black Mirror.

Coming Ashore In Caracas

Surfing enthusiast Ken and graphic designer Miranda are looking for a house with beach views and American-style air conditioning for less than $800 a month. Miranda throws herself face-down on the kitchen floor of the second house after she realizes there is no garbage disposal installed under the sink. She refuses to move as a form of passive protest. Her common-law husband Ken looks nervously at the camera and says “It’s always been my dream to be a stay-at-home dad” four times. He’s starting on a fifth when on off-camera production assistant asks him to stop. Real estate agent Brian is doing his fucking best, and loosens his tie as he walks through the door of his own apartment every night before putting a careful smile on his face. Brian never lets his work interfere with the way he acts at home. His kids think of him as a happy man. His wife thinks of him as a tired but happy man. Brian feels like nothing in the world.

...Read More