Author Archive

More News From Ferguson

“Do you want to hear something funny?” someone asked me. “This is a joke,” he told me, “with a punchline 100 days in the making.”

A member of the St. Louis police force has been charged with excessive force.

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Two Things I Find It Difficult To Believe Exist But Somehow They Do

The trick to absorbing a great deal of useless information is to never close your Wikipedia tabs entirely. Always leave at least two up so you can begin a new k-hole at a moment’s notice.

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“Perhaps the only doo-wop song sung in Latin”

Let’s all lie down quietly on the floor with something cool draped over our eyes and listen to this for a while.

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News From Ferguson

I don’t have anything in particular to add about the decision last night not to indict officer Darren Wilson. Here are a few other voices you should be listening to.

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Guidelines And Expectations For Your Child’s Common Core State Standards

Previously: Normal milestones in child development.

The Common Core State Standards reflect the skills and knowledge that students will need in order to succeed in college, career, and life. Understanding the various milestones students will be expected to meet is essential for implementing the standards successfully. Failure to do so could result in the loss of an entire generation to darkness.

Kindergarten

Students are expected to read and diagram complete sentences in all manner of languages, both spoken and unspoken, visible and invisible

Grade 1

Students are expected to send forth their spirits from their bodies a’nights in the form of a black dog

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Families Who Hate Each Other In Western Art History

Mrs Cyprian Williams and her Two Little Girls 1891 by Philip Wilson Steer 1860-1942

Mummy can’t listen to you just now, my darlings
Mummy is being consumed by regrets

Essie, Ruby and Ferdinand, Children of Asher Wertheimer 1902 by John Singer Sargent 1856-1925

shouldn’t we all be smiling, Mother?
for the portrait?
thats a good idea
why dont you tell me what i have to fucking smile about
and i’ll try to work up the muscles to do it

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Toast Points For The Week Of November 21st

This has been a hell of a week. The Butter exists now!

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Paintings That Wikimedia Commons Has Inaccurately Categorized As “Seduction In Art”

The “Seduction in art” tab on Wikimedia Commons is full of inaccurately categorized works of art. Here are a few examples:

seduction

This is not a woman who is being seduced. This is a woman who is being bothered while she is doing her job.

seduction3

Here is another example of a woman who is not being seduced. She is pushing an old man away from her, while wearing a nice gown.

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