Previously in this series.

“Little Lion Man With A Healthy Outlook"

“I Appreciate Our Time Together and Don’t Feel the Need To Pretend It Was Impossibly Difficult By Writing A Bitter Song About Sex And Christianity”

"This Song Has Some Banjo Playing, But It’s Very Tasteful"

"This Song Is Sincerely About Our Love For Whole Foods And Isn’t An Allegory"

…

Carmen Miranda, who died sixty years ago this month, was a star of the 1940s and '50s -- one of the world’s best-paid artists in both the music and movie industries, as famous for her style as for her work. Nowadays, however, she is practically unknown. If people remember her at all, it’s likely due to a Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny, or Tom & Jerry cartoon -- old references themselves -- making fun of her style,…

I am a simple woman, with simple joys. They're writing songs of love, but not for bees A lucky star's above, but not for bees With love to lead the way, I found more skies of grey Than any Russian play could guarantee I was a fool to fall, and get that way, Heigh-ho, alas, and also lack-a-day Although I can't dismiss The memory of her kiss I guess she's not for bees…

I first got sucked into the weird vortex of Temperance Hymns while checking some facts in a book about the history of the university where I work. The book mentioned that “the program in the closing day exercises of the first term featured children singing, ‘Saloons Must Go’ as they marched determinedly around the room for the benefit of the spectators.”

“Is that a real song?” I wondered. (…

mensah demary's previous Liner Notes columns for The Butter can be found here. This past week, I started a new job. And with new jobs come new responsibilities, new people to meet, new expectations, new office politics. Combined, a culture shock occurs, so perhaps I’m reeling from the novelty of my new employment, the drastic, yet thankful (oh so thankful) changes that have come my way. This, I assume, is an explanation for what…

Previously by Paula Duhatschek: Everything You Can Buy in a 1977 Archie Comic, in Order of Desirability "I Enjoyed My Teenage Years, But Don’t Think of Them Often" "The Knowledge Economy is Coming and I For One Am Thankful" "The Highway’s Jammed (with Responsible Drivers Who Have Made a Choice to Obey the Recommended Speed Limit)" "The Homecoming King and Queen Enjoyed an Amicable Divorce" "I’m Looking Forward to Revisiting My Hometown, Where the American…

Analog Toothbrush – Fire at the Salmon Farm

Cocaine Border Patrol -- Bill C51

Terminal City Lights -- Jack off the B-Strain

Gestalt Wave Overdrive -- Immigrant Nation

Danny Williams Lake -- Meech Accord Butt Plug

mensah demary's previous Liner Notes columns for The Butter can be found here. I was in my ex-wife’s car the first time I heard Frank Ocean. Early summer, or late spring, in 2011—we were still married, still friends. Anyway, I remember the car because we had recently purchased it, albeit used—there was no “new car smell,” but it was steam-cleaned and fresh. She drove around town to run errands; I rode shotgun, probably staring…

14. Cookie, R. Kelly (because he is a criminal)

13. Freek’n You, Jodeci

12. I Want It That Way, Backstreet Boys

11. Ain’t There Something Money Can’t Buy, Nick Waterhouse

10. Heaven, Matt Bomer

9. Marry You, Donald Glover

8. Give it to the People, The Child of Lov

7. Untitled, Matt Bomer

6. Sex You, Bando Jonez

5. Gooey, Glass Animals

4. All the Time, Jeremih, Lil Wayne, Natasha Mosley

3. Pony, Ginuwine

2.

…

Previously in this very odd series of imaginary albums: The Hold Steady and The Decembrists

"I'm Not Calling You a Liar Because I Genuinely Trust You Implicitly"

"Kiss With a Hug"

"Girl with Two Eyes"

"My Boy Builds Wardrobes (and Assorted End Tables)"

"I'm Going Out (Gonna Drink One Glass of Water for Every Alcoholic Beverage)"

mensah demary's previous Liner Notes columns for The Butter can be found here. More than sports, perhaps, music served as the bridge between my brothers and me. They are eleven and seven years older than me, respectively. The years between us sometimes creates a space that can’t be measured quantitatively and seems impossible to traverse, to narrow, and even possibly close. I perceive their ages—the fact that they are older than me—as though they…

Kathryn Funkhouser's previous work for The Toast can be found here. Not every Broadway musical should have a reunion; to insist upon this would be fatal for the quality of the actors’ tall tales at the bar afterwards, and deny theater the allure of something that ends. But Into The Woods has always been about what is discussed in the bar afterwards -- about people coming to understand the impact of their stories, even the…

Kathleen Cooper's previous work for The Toast can be found here. It’s a shame that we don’t often celebrate the creators of small pleasures. Creators of Big Things -- like cars, light bulbs, and antibiotics -- understandably receive a great deal of attention, but when it comes to the small events in history, we seem to suffer from collective amnesia. The origins of the first birthday party are lost in the mists of time.

I remember as a kid hurtling onto my parents’ bed to watch Sweet Dreams, the Patsy Cline biopic. I wasn’t yet ten, but I knew the music in my veins. On sleepy afternoons, those were the songs that stirred my mother to romance the vacuum cleaner as she swayed through the living room with half-closed eyes, and those were the songs which first conveyed to me the purchase of longing over logic because when you…

Before the age of auto-tune, music was once about craftsmanship and [the protection of egg stock by primal horror-screaming]. This week we look back to a simpler time, and celebrate The Beatles, that 'fab four' from Liverpool who won generations of fans with their catchy yet [atonal distress signals] and asked the world to give [unconditional surrender to bird law] a chance. The Beatles were a popular Rock n' Roll band formed in the 1960s who…