"Bollocks," by Daniel Baker.

Mallory is still visiting Nicole in Utah. Soon they will feed baby mini horses together.

Elmo Keep on dancing in the dark.

Nicole Cliffe shares a particularly dirty song from the late 16th century.

The Toast's weekly open thread.

"Toast Points," a selection of popular and notable posts from the past week.

Remembering Sailor Jupiter and gender bullshit.

Tama Janowitz, novelist and slayer of male egos.

There's a big, boring problem in the world of slash pairings, and the answer starts with Mellie/Olivia.

Ever After: A Drew Barrymore Jawn has a complicated relationship with my brain and my heart. The year it came out, I was 12 years old with a dedicated subscription to Seventeen and its monthly updates on what all the cool public school kids were wearing while me and my Catholic school uniform looked on in envy. Seventeen ran ads and features for this weird Cinderella movie with the girl from Scream, and it looked like it would be Romeo + Juliet except the girl wouldn’t behave so irrationally this time, god. I saw the movie and I loved it. It’s still a fun movie that never fails to cheer me up. Among my circle of friends, it doesn’t hold the same Classic Lady Movie clout as Clueless, Now and Then, or 10 Things I Hate About You, but that makes me cherish it all the more. Truth be told, I think my favorite part of the movie was how little it resembled its cheesy trailer, which carefully omitted from the movie that Drew Barrymore’s Danielle spends 5 seconds whispering “Just breathe” and two whole hours yelling at everyone, especially the Prince of France.

ALICE MUNRO WON THE NOBEL PRIZE.

Texts from Ponyboy and the other Outsiders.

Joyce Millman has sort-of met a lot of celebrities.

Nicole and Mallory ask the readers of The Toast to help them crowdsource bad gay movies for their Autostraddle collaboration.

Cleolinda Jones presents a plethora of ways you could be pitching The Toast.