I got to see Nicole this week and I flew on a plane FOUR TIMES and I did not cry even once because I am the bravest, strongest girl in the world. Her trainer is the nicest guy in the world and also the only Man I have ever unironically called “Sir,” which should tell you a lot about him.
Okay let me see, what else happened in the last couple of days:
Ayn Rand returned with the fourth installment of Harry Potter:
“Jealousy is a quality of the womanish and the poor,” Harry said, without malice, finishing a simple dish of plums. “I suggest you free yourself from it.”
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A reader shared his experience as a trans male sex worker
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STEALTH HORSE-BRAIDING
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I taught you all how to fight men for the shared armrest and poked the gentlest fun imaginable at John Lennon, which infuriated White Men
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A Day in the Life of a Forensic Pathologist
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I DID NOT KNOW THE TENNESSEE WILLIAMS ONE WAS REAL YOU GUYS
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I dream-cast the nonexistent Stone Butch Blues movie and found out that you guys are unrepentant dirtbags
Tags: meta, toast points
That dirtbag thread was week-making, guys.
YES I spent two solid hours reveling in every word of everyone’s dirtbaggery.
I loved, perhaps especially, the number of well-behaved book-readin’ nerds who had nothing dirt baggy to contribute but commented anyway out of respect and reverence.
Such an inspiring selection of dirtbags but my favourite is the dirtbag who made out with a girl whilst her bf was passed out.
My favorite was the baby dirtbag who was sent home for assaulting a Male with a piece of bologna, AS A PRESCHOOLER. <3 <3 <3
We need a word for nerdily edging towards the line of questionable behavior. Nerdbag or something.
But oh YES the dirtbag thread pleased me mightily.
If I may, I’d like to nominate the Flat Duo Jets for official Dirtbag mascots
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BvKB-eOR9M
It was great. I feel like I really got back in touch with my teenage self.
That thread made me really sorry I couldn’t upload my prom photos, in which I am wearing a black satin mini-dress (which I made myself, INCLUDING THE CRINOLINE), a wrist corsage of red roses with black satin ribbons (my date/best friend/ex-boyfriend/future partner had to argue w/ the florist over those ribbons, btw), a black leather motorcycle jacket, and a red-lipstick sneer.
When I started reading the thread I was a little sad because unfortunately I’d never been a dirtbag. And then it started jogging memories. “Oh. Oh and that. Oh! OH! Oh that. Oh no.”
Thank you for helping me recover my dirtbaggery.
I wanna be Janelle Monae when I grow up.
(Yeah, she’s younger than me but shut up.)
We need a word for nerdily edging towards the line of questionable behavior. Nerdbag or something.
But oh YES the dirtbag thread pleased me mightily.
That thread made me really sorry I couldn't upload my prom photos, in which I am wearing a black satin mini-dress (which I made myself, INCLUDING THE CRINOLINE), a wrist corsage of red roses with black satin ribbons (my date/best friend/ex-boyfriend/future partner had to argue w/ the florist over those ribbons, btw), a black leather motorcycle jacket, and a red-lipstick sneer.
I am flying on a plane in four hours and I am going to take strength from Mallory’s bravery and not cry at all. Wish me luck, toasties.
No crying! Claim the armrests that are rightfully yours! The strength and might of the Toast Empire go with you.
I know this is late, but…
“Wring mercy clean from your heart.”
I really need to know what your aviation classes involved. I hope they mostly concerned armrest war tactics.
Stealth horse-braiding was such a fun thread! So… who is Nicole’s trainer? George Morris is the only trainer that I can think of who has the gravitas needed for Mallory to call him “Sir” un-ironically.
Help me Toasties, help me please, sorry for hijacking the thread.
I have to pitch for an imaginary, ideal course on contemporary literature (1945-present) and I am at the point in my PhD where I basically hate books and books by men especially. WHAT GOES ON THE SODDING READING LIST. I know you will know.
(I’m a first-time poster on the toast, so sorry if you’ve already talked about this.) (I’m a recent PhD who is just beginning to enjoy books again.)
What nationality? British? American?
Do you not want books by men? Or are you just so sick of them that you can’t think of any?
Meager suggestion, but I’ve just begun Madeleine L’Engle’s The Other Side of the Sun and am finding it refreshingly not male authored.
Any area other than 1945-?
Jhumpa Lahiri. Zadie Smith. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Junot Diaz (a Man, but appropriately apologetic for it). Marguerite Duras. Sylvia Plath. James Baldwin (also a Man, but, he has other virtues). Wislawa Szymborska. I am overlooking some very big names, I realize, but if I am frank about who I like to read even when I hate books…!
All to say: I feel your PhD pain so hard. Keep going. We can do this thing.
My favourite contemporary literature ever is Annie John by Jamaica Kincaid. Annie is pure genius, a dedicated liar (a cause close to my heart) and has cold fury. There are barely any Males in the book, and no white ones. Also Jamaica Kincaide is generally amazing, I would recommend anything by her.