That every time I forget something (where I left my keys, a long-unused algebraic formula), somewhere a crow learns something new
That whenever a crow dies, it is transfigured into a small ring with a red stone instead of leaving behind a body
That touching a crow induces menstruation
That most crows know my given name and are actively hostile towards me
In no particular order, here are sixteen excerpts from back issues of Cat Fancy and Playboy magazines. Can you guess the source of each one?
She mesmerized me the first time I laid eyes on her.
She has a sweet, gentle nature and is very interested in what you are doing.
She is used to playing dress-up.
I am a spindly seven-year-old boy, flaxen-blonde and bronzed from a week in the summer sun, crouching by a small hole in the sand at the crack of dawn. I’m the only one on the beach, beating the sunbathers and the joggers—even the fishermen. I’m studying the numerous tiny tracks that lead away from the hole.
Yes! I am currently employed as a research assistant in a lab with three captive colonies of leaf-cutter ants (Atta cephalotes.) These ants come from South and Central American countries and have complex social structures, which I’ll discuss later.
A young man was walking along the shore and saw a beach upon which thousands and thousands of starfish had washed ashore. It seemed to him that if he did not keep his pace quick, the starfish oozed closer to his toes, although he never actually caught one of them moving. They seemed always to have just been moving. Red and puckered hands covering the beach. Silent mouths pressed into the sand. A starfish is…
Disney has always toyed with the boundary between man and animal. As The Toast has covered previously, these boundaries have not necessarily been consistent across its films. The ecology of Disney is a strange and unknowable realm, and nowhere is that more clear than in examining its animal sidekicks.
The sea is full of haters. Light cannot penetrate its depths after a few dozen feet, due to the unusual concentration of haters lurking just below the ocean's surface. The first humans crawled out of the sea ages ago because they knew that if they wanted to get anything done like legs or talking, they'd have to get away from the non-stop hating and criticism. So we got out of there pretty fast. HATERS OF…
I’m good with dogs the way others are good at math, or tennis, or open-mouth kissing. It’s a gift, really -- my ability to effortlessly interact all the different breeds. Some people might say I’m captivated by them but I believe that they’re captivated by me.
"Wild man Andrew Ucles catches wild animals barehanded to spread a message of wildlife conservation to show how to approach and capture wild, deadly, dangerous, poisonous, and even cute animals as well."
Previously in Dead Pet Chronicles: A Fish Formerly Called Wanda. In fourth grade, I was the new student in school. While I liked many of my classmates, I felt shy when it came to having people over to my house or accepting birthday party invitations. Only by the very end of the year had I begun to feel like I made a couple friends, including a sweet, quiet, freckly girl named Meredith,…
I came home to find Lily sitting under the table. My boyfriend had texted me a picture of a dog, a fluffy yellow puppy that, in another life, had probably starred in commercials with Christmas trees and Nordic-looking nuclear families.
Kitties and puppies should have comfortable feet. Four of them! Even on sexy Halloween night! Make sure their costume doesn't have heels that are too high—even if your cat has calico legs that go all the way up in her Katy Purry costume. Your cat can't say thank you for it, but if you move your cat's jaw and mumble "thank you," it is almost the same thing!
