Friend of The Toast Rohin Guha -- who I can personally attest has terrific hair and is profoundly charming on Twitter (he also sends very pleasant emails) -- wrote something thoughtful and important about the narratives surrounding media darling Malala Yousafzai and media just-pleasant-acquaintance Nabeela Rehman earlier this week. Yousafzai’s voice is integral. Her story has enjoyed exposure across all major news networks and outlets. But as our news cycle’s fascination with her temporarily winds…
Until the world is finally given a Room 237-style documentary about the filming of Wet Hot American Summer (or, at the very least, the sequel we have been teasingly promised), we will have to make do with what we have. Here is a partial but by no means exhaustive list of the intentional errors, callbacks, and foreshadowing I found in a recent rewatching of our generation's Airplane! 0:33 - Susie tries to kiss Ben, who turns away…
uuuuuuugghhhh my life
what is it?
what's wrong? uuuuuuuugh
is there something specific that's the matter?
or anything I can do to help? uuuugh my liiiiife
do you want me to come over? uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughghghghhhhh
A follow-up question to yesterday's post about alternate worlds with sentient animals: is the Redwall universe coterminous with our own? That is to say, do humans exist somewhere near Mossflower County? Are the scattered animal strongholds of Salamandastron and Redwall Abbey more like the Shire in Middle-Earth, which is populated exclusively by non-humans but perfectly aware of the existence of humans, or are they more like The Wind in the Willows, where humans have been entirely replaced by…
Scientists, who should know, would like to report after years of exhaustive study that all of the ice is fine and there's no need for you to come see for yourself. Don't come to where the ice is. Don't come to where the north ice is, don't come to where the south ice is. You can trust us. We'll tell you where the ice is: the same place it's always been, just like normal. What's…
Once again inspired by Friend of The Toast Emily Gould. (Previously: Male Novelist Jokes.)
National Novel Writing Month November 1-30 | "NaNoWriMo: The world needs your novel." National Novel Writing Month November 1-30 | "NaNoWriMo: They're all gonna laugh at you." National Novel Writing Month November 1-30 | "NaNoWriMo: Cool story, bro." National Novel Writing Month November 1-30 | "NaNoWriMo: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work…
Recently a question from my childhood has returned to plague me such that I could get no peace. Why is it that in certain Disney films foxes wear trousers and greatcoats and walk among human beings, while in others they dwell naked in the woods and flee from the coming of Man? What great calamity befell the Fox Civilization that caused them to lose the power of speech? Whence Disney Fox Carthage? I took a…
Last night marked the first-ever Toast away game, and it was a rousing success. You are all so charming! There were so many of you (including five very brave, slightly wide-eyed males), and you wore such sensible yet stylish shoes! Nicole did 30 pushups just because we all asked her to. (Later she did an additional ten as I placed my boots on her back and laughed. It was wonderful.)
We begin with the most important point: namely that all teens and llamas involved are safe and sound. With that said, here is what happens when students in America get drunk: THE NYU student who was rescued after being trapped for almost two days in a space between two Lower Manhattan buildings told cops he was drinking at a party and later slipped and fell into the gap, police sources said. Asher Vongtau, 19,…
"I Had a Brush With a Serial Killer" is a well-respected entry in the short story form; Jay Roberts wrote quite a good one about his afternoon encounter with Randy Kraft back in the early 1980s, Chuck Klosterman wrote a marginally less good one about his friend Sarah's evening with Michael Braae that is still worth a read if you are interested in hearing about dancing with someone nicknamed "Cowboy Mike" who committed…
Inspired in no small part by Friend of the Toast Emily Gould. Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: The terrible sex had made him feel deeply interesting, like a murder victim. Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: The beast, which had represented his feelings, was dead. "I think I'll do a pushup," he announced to the sea. The sea respected…
this is just to say
i have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
but when i opened it again later
the plums were back
as if they had never left
only this time
they were
glowing slightly
Previously: Virginia Woolf, Beloved Chinese Novelist. "I discovered that if I were going to review books I should need to do battle with a certain phantom. And the phantom was a woman, and when I came to know her better I called her after the heroine of a famous poem, The Angel in the House. It was she who used to come between me and my paper when I was writing reviews. It…
There are some idioms in this great big English language of ours that sound a great deal more exciting than they have any right to be. "The Angel in the House" is one of them. You've almost certainly heard of it, even if it's not a phrase you find occasion to regularly deploy; you're on a website for excitable and bookish women. The popular Victorian image of the ideal wife/woman came to be "the…
You've seen it thirteen times thirteen times, but that doesn't matter; it's Halloween tradition. It's what got Tracy the key to the city of Gary, Indiana, and it still holds the key to your heart: the full-length version of Werewolf Bar Mitzvah.
